I am so disgruntled. I had a recent post about how my husband is not supportive but he has reached a new low. He just told me that I am using drastic measures to become skinny and " he doesn't like skinny women". When I first got with my husband I weighed 145 lbs. I'm 5'6. So I I was pretty small then. Well fast forward twenty one years and 3 kids later ...my highest weight was 242 lbs. I am insulted by this so badly. I told him if you don't like the size I become then you have the option of leaving then. I'm so tired of this ish. Everyday he is putting me down about this surgery and I know I may have some tough patches post op and I know he is going to lavish in that so that he can say I told you so. My 20 year old son is going with me to have my surgery due to I'm going to Texas and I'm from Alabama. I don't think he quite gets it but he said mom I'm going with you and not letting you be alone. That means the world to me. I just feel like this is probly gonna be the end of my marriage. My husband then said I'm probly trying to be skinny for other men and I'm like really. I would go thru my stomach being sliced just for attention... get the heck

Out of here. Just so disgusted with having to defend this decision to him. I have researched this for 4-5 years. I'm making a change for a better healthier me. I guess everyone doesn't want a better, healthier me. He has been thin all his life and doesn't understand this weight struggle. So he doesn't want a skinny wife but you want an overweight wife who is prediabetic, has sleep apnea, high cholesterol, and heart problems huh? But she is good n thick,, yeah right. I'm just over it!!!!

Edited December 3, 20169 yr by Dknal2

Well , to update everyone. I am totally shocked that my hubby did a 360. He said that he was really impressed with how I look so far and he is excited to see end result. I have lost total 44 lbs so my body has really changed and he can't keep his hands off me. I told him that he is very superficial but he insists that he used to tell me how pretty I was at my heaviest as well ( yeah like twice a month compared to like 4 times a day since I lost all of this weight). I try not to focus on that too much due to I have so much going on . But it's bittersweet to me, sounds crazy but it is because I feel like oh now you find me irresistible but before , what was I ? Oh well... this is my year to focus on Diana and that's what I'm doing.

Sounds like he was just feeling a bit insecure and maybe he was also just worried about the surgical procedure involved. My husband wasn't on the boat at first and told me it was too extreme and dangerous and you and I had similar starting stats. Have you actually lost 44 lbs since surgery in December or does that include pre op? If it was in less than a month I am jealous, lol. I think that due to shows like my 600 lb life a lot of people feel that weight loss surgery is only an option for extreme cases. I was self pay so I felt that I needed my husband to be 100% on board. After some research he agreed but would've had no problem if I'd changed my mind. I told him once we made the decision that I didn't want to hear a single comment from now on unless it was supportive. I knew that there would be moments post op when I'd be wishing I hadn't done it and I'd need his support and not an "I told you so".

He blew me away with how much support he gave me and how caring he was during my recovery. Sometimes men are just resistant to change, lol.

You are so right. Oh and I lost 44 lbs total including pre op. I have lost 22 lbs since dec 5 surgery date. At 3 weeks my weight just halted but I'm not worried and def don't compare my success to my 600 lb life because they lose like 70 lbs in 2 months because their Bmi's are so high. So , we may lose a little slower but we are losing which is important.

Well , to update everyone. I am totally shocked that my hubby did a 360. He said that he was really impressed with how I look so far and he is excited to see end result. I have lost total 44 lbs so my body has really changed and he can't keep his hands off me. I told him that he is very superficial but he insists that he used to tell me how pretty I was at my heaviest as well ( yeah like twice a month compared to like 4 times a day since I lost all of this weight). I try not to focus on that too much due to I have so much going on . But it's bittersweet to me, sounds crazy but it is because I feel like oh now you find me irresistible but before , what was I ? Oh well... this is my year to focus on Diana and that's what I'm doing.

Sounds like he was just feeling a bit insecure and maybe he was also just worried about the surgical procedure involved. My husband wasn't on the boat at first and told me it was too extreme and dangerous and you and I had similar starting stats. Have you actually lost 44 lbs since surgery in December or does that include pre op? If it was in less than a month I am jealous, lol. I think that due to shows like my 600 lb life a lot of people feel that weight loss surgery is only an option for extreme cases. I was self pay so I felt that I needed my husband to be 100% on board. After some research he agreed but would've had no problem if I'd changed my mind. I told him once we made the decision that I didn't want to hear a single comment from now on unless it was supportive. I knew that there would be moments post op when I'd be wishing I hadn't done it and I'd need his support and not an "I told you so".

He blew me away with how much support he gave me and how caring he was during my recovery. Sometimes men are just resistant to change, lol.

Well , to update everyone. I am totally shocked that my hubby did a 360. He said that he was really impressed with how I look so far and he is excited to see end result. I have lost total 44 lbs so my body has really changed and he can't keep his hands off me. I told him that he is very superficial but he insists that he used to tell me how pretty I was at my heaviest as well ( yeah like twice a month compared to like 4 times a day since I lost all of this weight). I try not to focus on that too much due to I have so much going on . But it's bittersweet to me, sounds crazy but it is because I feel like oh now you find me irresistible but before , what was I ? Oh well... this is my year to focus on Diana and that's what I'm doing.

Congrats your weight loss is amazing!! So super happy for you!! I'm hoping your husband is still being supportive and that you are feeling better about his new found interest. It could be a good thing? Take care!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hi everyone,my surgery was on 9/24/2014
Sw 248, I got down to 161 within 9 months and by the following year I was back to 181.Cw 208.My husband was not supportive at all he would call me names and say I was too skinny.Well I am divorced as of 9/2018 and Extremely happy with the choice I made.Even though I gained weight back I lost a lot of heavy baggage and gained my confidence back.I go back to my Dr on the 15th to see about a revision.Prayerfully I can get it done.I found out later that he was jealous of my results and the attention I was receiving.He would sabotage my eating habits buying lots of snacks and killing my self esteem.He would say turn the light switch off in other words stop loosing weight so fast it’s just like turning a switch.Killing all my friendships.I am glad to say I am currently a Life Coach and helping people get through tough times.

How about sitting down and talking to him about this rather than a bunch of strangers? I’d tell him why you want to have the surgery and why it is important to you. Then I would hear his concerns and see if they are really as superficial as they may outwardly appear or if there is something else.

Don’t listen to the people here that instantly tell everyone to leave their spouse the minute they are unsupportive. You have been with him for 21 years. I think before I threw a relationship like that away I’d sit down and try to work it out first.

I’d make sure he knew how he makes you feel when he says unsupportive things and that you’d appreciate support on your journey. Give him a chance to do better and if he has legitimate concerns like complications from surgery then take him to your consults and let him talk to the surgeon and even post a thread on here where he can ask questions using your account. We’d be happy to answer anything he has.

But don’t listen to a bunch of people that have nothing invested in your relationship and immediately say leave him. That is ridiculous and they have no skin in the game.

Try to work it out. Like adults.

I mean exactly what I said. The most important people in this situation are the husband and wife. A bunch of internet strangers shouldn’t even be in the equation. I’d never seek the counsel of an Internet forum when it comes to my marriage and I would hope my wife wouldn’t either. Then again, when things irritate us we talk about it and resolve it. Because the only people that can fix a problem in any relationship are the people involved.

How about sitting down and talking to him about this rather than a bunch of strangers? I’d tell him why you want to have the surgery and why it is important to you. Then I would hear his concerns and see if they are really as superficial as they may outwardly appear or if there is something else.

Don’t listen to the people here that instantly tell everyone to leave their spouse the minute they are unsupportive. You have been with him for 21 years. I think before I threw a relationship like that away I’d sit down and try to work it out first.

I’d make sure he knew how he makes you feel when he says unsupportive things and that you’d appreciate support on your journey. Give him a chance to do better and if he has legitimate concerns like complications from surgery then take him to your consults and let him talk to the surgeon and even post a thread on here where he can ask questions using your account. We’d be happy to answer anything he has.

But don’t listen to a bunch of people that have nothing invested in your relationship and immediately say leave him. That is ridiculous and they have no skin in the game.

Try to work it out. Like adults.

As someone who nearly lost the of their life do to lack of communication and taking bad advice from outside people miserable in their own love lives, talk to YOUR man. TALK to HIM. If need be seek professional help. Youre paying someone to operate on your body. Pay someone to operate on your marriage. Don't trow it all away until there truly is no hope. You what you need to do Sis. You've got this!

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

How about sitting down and talking to him about this rather than a bunch of strangers? I’d tell him why you want to have the surgery and why it is important to you. Then I would hear his concerns and see if they are really as superficial as they may outwardly appear or if there is something else.

Don’t listen to the people here that instantly tell everyone to leave their spouse the minute they are unsupportive. You have been with him for 21 years. I think before I threw a relationship like that away I’d sit down and try to work it out first.

I’d make sure he knew how he makes you feel when he says unsupportive things and that you’d appreciate support on your journey. Give him a chance to do better and if he has legitimate concerns like complications from surgery then take him to your consults and let him talk to the surgeon and even post a thread on here where he can ask questions using your account. We’d be happy to answer anything he has.

But don’t listen to a bunch of people that have nothing invested in your relationship and immediately say leave him. That is ridiculous and they have no skin in the game.

Try to work it out. Like adults.

As someone who nearly lost the of their life do to lack of communication and taking bad advice from outside people miserable in their own love lives, talk to YOUR man. TALK to HIM. If need be seek professional help. Youre paying someone to operate on your body. Pay someone to operate on your marriage. Don't trow it all away until there truly is no hope. You what you need to do Sis. You've got this!

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Well ****! I guess you knew what needed to done and did it! [emoji23]

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Glad your surgery went well! It is difficult to navigate this journey and the impacts it has on our relationships. My husband has been fairly supportive, but there have certainly been times when I’ve had to put my foot down and prioritize my needs (usually my insistence we cook and eat at home versus him wanting to eat out or order takeout). It’s weird how much food and weight can impact a relationship, especially if one half is adopting a lifestyle they didn’t have going into the marriage. However, we are managing... but sometimes managing means I’ve got worry about doing me and he’s gotta worry about doing him and we’ve just gotta trust that being happy individually will make us a stronger team overall.