I am so disgruntled. I had a recent post about how my husband is not supportive but he has reached a new low. He just told me that I am using drastic measures to become skinny and " he doesn't like skinny women". When I first got with my husband I weighed 145 lbs. I'm 5'6. So I I was pretty small then. Well fast forward twenty one years and 3 kids later ...my highest weight was 242 lbs. I am insulted by this so badly. I told him if you don't like the size I become then you have the option of leaving then. I'm so tired of this ish. Everyday he is putting me down about this surgery and I know I may have some tough patches post op and I know he is going to lavish in that so that he can say I told you so. My 20 year old son is going with me to have my surgery due to I'm going to Texas and I'm from Alabama. I don't think he quite gets it but he said mom I'm going with you and not letting you be alone. That means the world to me. I just feel like this is probly gonna be the end of my marriage. My husband then said I'm probly trying to be skinny for other men and I'm like really. I would go thru my stomach being sliced just for attention... get the heck

Out of here. Just so disgusted with having to defend this decision to him. I have researched this for 4-5 years. I'm making a change for a better healthier me. I guess everyone doesn't want a better, healthier me. He has been thin all his life and doesn't understand this weight struggle. So he doesn't want a skinny wife but you want an overweight wife who is prediabetic, has sleep apnea, high cholesterol, and heart problems huh? But she is good n thick,, yeah right. I'm just over it!!!!

Edited December 3, 20169 yr by Dknal2

Sounds like there is much more going on then just disagreement concerning surgery......the "size" of a woman he loves should not make a difference. When you truly love someone you love them for what's on the inside. If you haven't had a good sit down talk with him you should start there.....if you have already done that......well I'm certainly not a marriage counselor so am not qualified to give advice.....but if I were in your shoes I'd be pissed....sorry I'm sure that's not helpful.

Good luck to you! Hang in there and do what's best for you.

Thank you. I have talked to him all that I can. I'm just done with the insults and all the arguments. He can deal with it or he can leave.

Sounds like there is much more going on then just disagreement concerning surgery......the "size" of a woman he loves should not make a difference. When you truly love someone you love them for what's on the inside. If you haven't had a good sit down talk with him you should start there.....if you have already done that......well I'm certainly not a marriage counselor so am not qualified to give advice.....but if I were in your shoes I'd be pissed....sorry I'm sure that's not helpful.

Good luck to you! Hang in there and do what's best for you.

@@Dknal2 I totally agree with you.....I can't even imagine my HUSBAND insulting me!!! It wouldn't take much of that at all before he would leave whether he wanted to or not! No one deserves to be treated that way.

I THINK there are other issues as well as he is INSECURE. Does he know what the surgery consists of? Is he scared? Or just needing an "out"?

Good luck to you. Take care of you.

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I'd personally tell my husband to kiss my butt and then I'd help him pack. His insecurities shouldn't block your path to good health.

He might prefer heavier women, but I prefer smart confident men.

I went through the same thing with my Daughter dad great fully when he proposed to me I didn't accept him as my husband I end up leaving him because I realize I'm doing this for me and my daughter I be damn if any one option stop me or cant accept my decision .so yea I totally agree do what make you happy after all you have to live with you not everyone else my mom does it too sometimes I feel alone but I read my Bible for strength in I keep on pushing baby ????

. God bless ????

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Thank you for encouragement. My bible tells me that my God will never leave me or forsake me. So as long as that is true, I'm alone physically yes but God has this all in his hands. I'm noticing strength that I didn't notice before in myself. It hurts but hay, I will be okay sooner than later.

I went through the same thing with my Daughter dad great fully when he proposed to me I didn't accept him as my husband I end up leaving him because I realize I'm doing this for me and my daughter I be damn if any one option stop me or cant accept my decision .so yea I totally agree do what make you happy after all you have to live with you not everyone else my mom does it too sometimes I feel alone but I read my Bible for strength in I keep on pushing baby

. God bless

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OMG... hit the nail right on the head. Why can he not just embrace what's to come with a healthier, happier wife? Fear is getting to him but I can't change that. I asked him to educate himself on procedure with literature that I have and he is like I want no part of it so I'm like ok it's whatever then.

I'd personally tell my husband to kiss my butt and then I'd help him pack. His insecurities shouldn't block your path to good health.

He might prefer heavier women, but I prefer smart confident men.

I'd personally tell my husband to kiss my butt and then I'd help him pack. His insecurities shouldn't block your path to good health.

He might prefer heavier women, but I prefer smart confident men.

I'm sorry you're going through this at a time you need so much love and support. The bright side is the fact that this surgery will give you both years to your life and the energy to deal with things. It's a common theme: women give their entire lives to husbands and kids and when they finally decide to do something for themselves, the family can't handle the change. Stay strong.

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Trying so stay positive and push through. I'm just mentally preparing myself for the worst in my marriage after this surgery. Thanks for encouragement

@@Dknal2 I totally agree with you.....I can't even imagine my HUSBAND insulting me!!! It wouldn't take much of that at all before he would leave whether he wanted to or not! No one deserves to be treated that way.

I'm sorry you're going through this at a time you need so much love and support. The bright side is the fact that this surgery will give you both years to your life and the energy to deal with things. It's a common theme: women give their entire lives to husbands and kids and when they finally decide to do something for themselves, the family can't handle the change. Stay strong.

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Ugh. I hate when grown men act like whiny babies.

Ugh. I hate when grown men act like whiny babies.

I hate it when whiny babies act like whiny babies!

I thank you all for your encouragement. At this point, you all are all I have for support and encouragement and I truly thank God for each of you. No man ,woman , or child is going to stop this surgery. I'm praying things will change but if not, not my loss it will definitely be his.

I thank you all for your encouragement. At this point, you all are all I have for support and encouragement and I truly thank God for each of you. No man ,woman , or child is going to stop this surgery. I'm praying things will change but if not, not my loss it will definitely be his.

Girl I am praying for you! We are almost exactly the same size and our stories are so similar (except I had 4 kids)

However, my husband has been very supportive of my surgery. He is not overweight but we both have strong family histories of heart disease, all 4 of our parents are dead. Does your husband realize that being 100 pounds overweight will take years off your life??? Mine does, and he wants us to have as many years together as possible.

We are not trying to get skinny, we are trying to get healthy!!! Hang in there.

I am so disgruntled. I had a recent post about how my husband is not supportive but he has reached a new low. He just told me that I am using drastic measures to become skinny and " he doesn't like skinny women". When I first got with my husband I weighed 145 lbs. I'm 5'6. So I I was pretty small then. Well fast forward twenty one years and 3 kids later ...my highest weight was 242 lbs. I am insulted by this so badly. I told him if you don't like the size I become then you have the option of leaving then. I'm so tired of this ish. Everyday he is putting me down about this surgery and I know I may have some tough Patches post op and I know he is going to lavish in that so that he can say I told you so. My 20 year old son is going with me to have my surgery due to I'm going to Texas and I'm from Alabama. I don't think he quite gets it but he said mom I'm going with you and not letting you be alone. That means the world to me. I just feel like this is probly gonna be the end of my marriage. My husband then said I'm probly trying to be skinny for other men and I'm like really. I would go thru my stomach being sliced just for attention... get the heck

Out of here. Just so disgusted with having to defend this decision to him. I have researched this for 4-5 years. I'm making a change for a better healthier me. I guess everyone doesn't want a better, healthier me. He has been thin all his life and doesn't understand this weight struggle. So he doesn't want a skinny wife but you want an overweight wife who is prediabetic, has sleep apnea, high cholesterol, and heart problems huh? But she is good n thick,, yeah right. I'm just over it!!!!

Personally, I think he's an insecure little man and that's something he has to work on. He's probably afraid that you're going leave him after. That said... I haven't read all the responses but may I suggest asking him to go to a meeting for other spouses and significant others. It's comforting to have full family support but ultimately you have to be ready for it. If that's what you want, embrace it. You may have some issues after, or if you're like me, you will have no issues at all. My only little issue was that I wasn't able to consume the 1liter of Water within the 1st 24 hours so I had to stay in the hospital an additional day. I followed my doctors instructions and I had so problems at all. November 7th was 9 years for me. I've ran a few relays and October 15, I completed my second 1/2 marathon. At 295 pounds, I could not fathom this. What does you're husband for exercise? Tell him it could be fun going walking or running or going to the gym together. I didn't reach my target weight but at 5' 7" 185 pounds I feel great. After your surgery, keep inviting him to go walking with you...maybe he'll change his thought process. Best wishes on your surgery.

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Edited December 3, 20169 yr by Islandgirl7467