I am so disgruntled. I had a recent post about how my husband is not supportive but he has reached a new low. He just told me that I am using drastic measures to become skinny and " he doesn't like skinny women". When I first got with my husband I weighed 145 lbs. I'm 5'6. So I I was pretty small then. Well fast forward twenty one years and 3 kids later ...my highest weight was 242 lbs. I am insulted by this so badly. I told him if you don't like the size I become then you have the option of leaving then. I'm so tired of this ish. Everyday he is putting me down about this surgery and I know I may have some tough patches post op and I know he is going to lavish in that so that he can say I told you so. My 20 year old son is going with me to have my surgery due to I'm going to Texas and I'm from Alabama. I don't think he quite gets it but he said mom I'm going with you and not letting you be alone. That means the world to me. I just feel like this is probly gonna be the end of my marriage. My husband then said I'm probly trying to be skinny for other men and I'm like really. I would go thru my stomach being sliced just for attention... get the heck

Out of here. Just so disgusted with having to defend this decision to him. I have researched this for 4-5 years. I'm making a change for a better healthier me. I guess everyone doesn't want a better, healthier me. He has been thin all his life and doesn't understand this weight struggle. So he doesn't want a skinny wife but you want an overweight wife who is prediabetic, has sleep apnea, high cholesterol, and heart problems huh? But she is good n thick,, yeah right. I'm just over it!!!!

Edited December 3, 20169 yr by Dknal2

Hi everyone... I'm still alive,lol. I had my sleeve done yesterday. It was a rough day 1 with the gas pain and nausea. However , today I feell a lot better.... still have some gas pain but I'm burping a lot now. . I am telling myself this is temporary and in 6 months I'm sure I will say this was a great decision.

Glad your surgery went well.

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Be encouraged!...Walk for the betterment of your health. You have made a big change in your life and it's all for the good. You will be just fine...it will be a few bumps in the road while your headed to success...Take it all in stride. Get well soon!

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Thank you so much.

Hi everyone... I'm still alive,lol. I had my sleeve done yesterday. It was a rough day 1 with the gas pain and nausea. However , today I feell a lot better.... still have some gas pain but I'm burping a lot now. . I am telling myself this is temporary and in 6 months I'm sure I will say this was a great decision.

Glad your surgery went well.

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Thank you. I am very sore this morning and I been coughing up a lot of mucus. But I'm feeling better. Just trying to stay positive and embrace this change in my life

Be encouraged!...Walk for the betterment of your health. You have made a big change in your life and it's all for the good. You will be just fine...it will be a few bumps in the road while your headed to success...Take it all in stride. Get well soon!

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Congratulations @dknal2 I'm so happy for you!!!

Thank you. I am still in a daze honestly. I woke up to a coughing spell and felt like I was dying. But I'm ok. Hard to try and get liquids in but I'm trying. Belly really sore but it will get better

Congratulations @dknal2 I'm so happy for you!!!

You are a beautiful woman I can't wait too see the results of your hard work!! Just like getting yourself healthy is hard work making a marriage work can be hard. Do what you can and work your hardest so that if things don't work out you can be secure in knowing you gave it your all!! Super happy for you and can't wait for your transformation!! The butterfly is waking from her cocoon!

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Edited December 7, 20169 yr by Gypsywoman

Gypsy that was so seeet and thank you. I have to figure out how to post pics on here. I can't wait for like 3 months from now to see some results. Thank you for the encouragement

You are a beautiful woman I can't wait too see the results of your hard work!! Just like getting yourself healthy is hard work making a marriage work can be hard. Do what you can and work your hardest so that if things don't work out you can be secure in knowing you gave it your all!! Super happy for you and can't wait for your transformation!! The butterfly is waking from her cocoon!

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I hope today is a little bit better for you....Push through!

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It is better... I am walking better and the gas is going away but not completely gone. No nausea thank god. Just sore still. Need the rest of this gas to go and I will be in there. Thanks for checking on me. So sweet.

I hope today is a little bit better for you....Push through!

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I know a lot of people personally that have had bariatric surgery and most of their spouses/significant others have been UNSUPPORTIVE, and that's just so sad!

Speaking with them it all boiled down to the same thing: INSECURITY.

'Oh he/she's going to get all skinny and then find someone else and leave me'.

You're exactly right, does he really want an overweight, unhealthy wife, who let's face it, is basically a ticking time bomb to have a heart attack, stroke, or diabetic coma?

Or does he want you happy and HEALTHY and in his life for 10-20-30 more years with him?

I'll tell you what - if I would ever 'get skinny and leave my fiancé' .... well that just shows what a POS I AM!

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Edited December 8, 20169 yr by olivejuice

I agree. I would never leave him because of male attention because I been with him big n small to big again so that's just his insecurities. My son went with me and he was very supportive and he stayed by my side the whole time . So I'm happy for that .

I know a lot of people personally that have had bariatric surgery and most of their spouses/significant others have been UNSUPPORTIVE, and that's just so sad!

Speaking with them it all boiled down to the same thing: INSECURITY.

'Oh he/she's going to get all skinny and then find someone else and leave me'.

You're exactly right, does he really want an overweight, unhealthy wife, who let's face it, is basically a ticking time bomb to have a heart attack, stroke, or diabetic coma?

Or does he want you happy and HEALTHY and in his life for 10-20-30 more years with him?

I'll tell you what - if I would ever 'get skinny and leave my fiancé' .... well that just shows what a POS I AM!

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Unfortunately you don't have your husband's support and you know this. It happens often when the spouse is not secure in themselves. I would love to tell you everything will be fine but we believe for the best and pray for the strength to get through the worst. This is your life and whether we are single or in a relationship we are the only ones who can live it. Surround yourself with a good support group, people who will cheer you on and be there to hold you up during tough moments. Stop focusing on others negative opinions and focus on self.

It's not just with surgery and being thin, it's about you becoming the best healthiest you that you can be. I have seen people who start new ventures to have a better life face oppositions from their spouses...it can be something simple like they started going to church more, got a new job. etc.

The issue is not with you losing weight the issue is within himself and that is NOT your issue. You can't make someone be what you want them to be you can only work on self.

Best of luck in the process...either way it goes in the end you will be alright.

Thank you @ Chel1. I have been sleeved now and he doesn't say much about it. But that's okay because I get a lot of support from this online forum from great people like yourself. So, as you said , I will def be okay either way. I serve a God who has never left me and I don't see him leaving me now. Take care and thanks again.

Unfortunately you don't have your husband's support and you know this. It happens often when the spouse is not secure in themselves. I would love to tell you everything will be fine but we believe for the best and pray for the strength to get through the worst. This is your life and whether we are single or in a relationship we are the only ones who can live it. Surround yourself with a good support group, people who will cheer you on and be there to hold you up during tough moments. Stop focusing on others negative opinions and focus on self.

It's not just with surgery and being thin, it's about you becoming the best healthiest you that you can be. I have seen people who start new ventures to have a better life face oppositions from their spouses...it can be something simple like they started going to church more, got a new job. etc.

The issue is not with you losing weight the issue is within himself and that is NOT your issue. You can't make someone be what you want them to be you can only work on self.

Best of luck in the process...either way it goes in the end you will be alright.

This is so wrong. You deserve so much better than that. We all do. I know marriage takes a lot of love and hard work, and it's not easy to just walk away... But you need to do what is ultimately best for YOU. Hang in there, focus on your health, and don't let him get you down.