I am so disgruntled. I had a recent post about how my husband is not supportive but he has reached a new low. He just told me that I am using drastic measures to become skinny and " he doesn't like skinny women". When I first got with my husband I weighed 145 lbs. I'm 5'6. So I I was pretty small then. Well fast forward twenty one years and 3 kids later ...my highest weight was 242 lbs. I am insulted by this so badly. I told him if you don't like the size I become then you have the option of leaving then. I'm so tired of this ish. Everyday he is putting me down about this surgery and I know I may have some tough patches post op and I know he is going to lavish in that so that he can say I told you so. My 20 year old son is going with me to have my surgery due to I'm going to Texas and I'm from Alabama. I don't think he quite gets it but he said mom I'm going with you and not letting you be alone. That means the world to me. I just feel like this is probly gonna be the end of my marriage. My husband then said I'm probly trying to be skinny for other men and I'm like really. I would go thru my stomach being sliced just for attention... get the heck

Out of here. Just so disgusted with having to defend this decision to him. I have researched this for 4-5 years. I'm making a change for a better healthier me. I guess everyone doesn't want a better, healthier me. He has been thin all his life and doesn't understand this weight struggle. So he doesn't want a skinny wife but you want an overweight wife who is prediabetic, has sleep apnea, high cholesterol, and heart problems huh? But she is good n thick,, yeah right. I'm just over it!!!!

Edited December 3, 20169 yr by Dknal2

Hey Lady, Happy Holidays! You have been on my mind and I thought I would check back to see how you were doing. Looks like you are doing awesomeeeeeee! lol

I have completed everything and still waiting for slow pokes to submit to the insurance company. I am still trying to drop some pounds before hand anyway.

Keep up the good work and have a blessed, prosperous, healthy, & peaceful New Year!

Yes he does... I am now like 2 1/2 weeks out almost 3 and I'm down to 199 lbs... surgery weight was 219 lbs. I'm so grateful for this opportunity to regain good health. My highest weight was 242 lbs and a laundry list of health problems not to mention depression. But to God be the glory because he afforded this opportunity to me and I have a new lease on life. This has not been a walk in the park for me but I would have done it 3 times over. I feel like I'm going to reach my goal of 150 and I can't wait. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Stay blessed.

Hi @ Chel1... thanks for thinking of me. I'm going well with the weight loss yes but more importantly I'm doing great emotionally. I feel good about myself and my choice to have this surgery. I have times where it's not that easy ( like when I have nausea or can't poop) but I put my big girl panties on and I press forward with Gods help.

The insurance companies are slow as molasses. They don't speed up for anyone.. I pray for your approval and again thanks for keeping me on your mind. Keep in touch.

Hey Lady, Happy Holidays! You have been on my mind and I thought I would check back to see how you were doing. Looks like you are doing awesomeeeeeee! lol

I have completed everything and still waiting for slow pokes to submit to the insurance company. I am still trying to drop some pounds before hand anyway.

Keep up the good work and have a blessed, prosperous, healthy, & peaceful New Year!

Yes he does... I am now like 2 1/2 weeks out almost 3 and I'm down to 199 lbs... surgery weight was 219 lbs. I'm so grateful for this opportunity to regain good health. My highest weight was 242 lbs and a laundry list of health problems not to mention depression. But to God be the glory because he afforded this opportunity to me and I have a new lease on life. This has not been a walk in the park for me but I would have done it 3 times over. I feel like I'm going to reach my goal of 150 and I can't wait. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Stay blessed.

The something else that people seem to alluding to that is going on in your marriage. Is something I am familiar with, when a man says "baby I love you just the way you are" and we become bamboozled by this (yes I said we) and ignore what we really want. We want to lose the weight, we want to be healthy and strong, but we fall for the BS of their insecurites, and their sabotage of our efforts. Now it's critical and it is a matter of life and death and you have chosen to be proactive, stick to your decision and find a support group. I know it's hard looking at a break up after 20 years, but DO NOT ACCEPT ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE BREAKDOWN OF YOUR MARRIAGE. Because that will be next. Prepare yourself and don't succumb to the pressure. Praying for your continued success in your weight loss.

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I would be what I've already lost plus his amount of weight down too cause his ass would be out tha door. So sick of broke down busted dusty ass men wanting to talk to and treat us anyway they feel and think we are supposed to suck it up aw hell no wait until I get down a little more and start my strength training I just wish one would I WILL BOPP THE HELL OUTEM....

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Dknal2 you are beautiful from the inside out there are other fish in the sea let's get to swimming girl because we are going to hook them sexy make fish like real bait I got yo back

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For years I have felt so bad about myself and I have repeatedly felt that my low self esteem was a direct result of me feeling that I let myself go. I did ignore my weight because my hubby kept saying you look good I like you thick and with curves. Until I really took a look at myself inside and out and I was so mad that I let myself get to that point. Then my health started taking a toll on me. I said bump this I am having this surgery and it still took me almost 5 years to do it from that point. Health became worse and I said now is the time. My husband tried to make me feel bad for doing this surgery. I was said to be vain n I want to look like a skinny white girl and I'm doing this for attention from men( as if I wasn't worthy to look at at 242 lbs) just everything was said to me by him. I pressed forward and my 20 year old son went with me to have my surgery and was there for me the whole time. He was an angel.

Now that I have had the surgery, my husband doesn't say much about it. He tells me I look nice ( I have lost total 44 lbs preop and post op) I am delighted with my second chance at life. If it's in gods plan that I end up alone so be it. I know his insecurities are gonna kick in at some point with the more weight that I lose . If he leaves because of his insecurities, then he will lose the best thing that has ever happened to him. I would never accept responsibility if our marriage fails because I took control of my life by becoming healthier and happier.

The something else that people seem to alluding to that is going on in your marriage. Is something I am familiar with, when a man says "baby I love you just the way you are" and we become bamboozled by this (yes I said we) and ignore what we really want. We want to lose the weight, we want to be healthy and strong, but we fall for the BS of their insecurites, and their sabotage of our efforts. Now it's critical and it is a matter of life and death and you have chosen to be proactive, stick to your decision and find a support group. I know it's hard looking at a break up after 20 years, but DO NOT ACCEPT ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE BREAKDOWN OF YOUR MARRIAGE. Because that will be next. Prepare yourself and don't succumb to the pressure. Praying for your continued success in your weight loss.

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Edited December 26, 20169 yr by Dknal2

@ scipiobabe... I get the feeling you will bop someone , lol ????????????. Thank you for saying I am beautiful, I appreciate it. I also agree that we as women take way too much from men and we shouldn't . This process has taught me that I am stronger than I realized. I'm very grateful for that.

I wish us both success on this Weightloss journey and if my husband act up and decided to leave me, well that will be his lost.

Dknal2 you are beautiful from the inside out there are other fish in the sea let's get to swimming girl because we are going to hook them sexy make fish like real bait I got yo back

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My husband is supportive of whatever decision I also met him about 130 I'm 5,2 I'm now 240 he supports whatever decision but I think he likes me bigger weird but he seems to love the extra weight.

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That's great for you.????????

My husband is supportive of whatever decision I also met him about 130 I'm 5,2 I'm now 240 he supports whatever decision but I think he likes me bigger weird but he seems to love the extra weight.

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He's insecure. He's worried you're going to find more confidence in yourself. You do what's best for you.

I know that he probably is due to comments he has made. I have lived a good portion of my life putting myself on the back burner trying tonmake sure everyone else is ok. But now it's time to take care of me and that's what I have done . You know what, it feels pretty good to say that I did what was in my best interest for me to do and whoever doesn't like it ..... Oh well ????????

He's insecure. He's worried you're going to find more confidence in yourself. You do what's best for you.

My advocate called Thursday 29th and told me she submitted...called the next day Friday 30th & told me I was approved and she has never seen them approve so fast. #WontHeDoIt

Hi @ Chel1... thanks for thinking of me. I'm going well with the weight loss yes but more importantly I'm doing great emotionally. I feel good about myself and my choice to have this surgery. I have times where it's not that easy ( like when I have nausea or can't poop) but I put my big girl panties on and I press forward with Gods help.
The insurance companies are slow as molasses. They don't speed up for anyone.. I pray for your approval and again thanks for keeping me on your mind. Keep in touch.

Hey Lady, Happy Holidays! You have been on my mind and I thought I would check back to see how you were doing. Looks like you are doing awesomeeeeeee! lol
I have completed everything and still waiting for slow pokes to submit to the insurance company. I am still trying to drop some pounds before hand anyway.

Keep up the good work and have a blessed, prosperous, healthy, & peaceful New Year!

Yes he does... I am now like 2 1/2 weeks out almost 3 and I'm down to 199 lbs... surgery weight was 219 lbs. I'm so grateful for this opportunity to regain good health. My highest weight was 242 lbs and a laundry list of health problems not to mention depression. But to God be the glory because he afforded this opportunity to me and I have a new lease on life. This has not been a walk in the park for me but I would have done it 3 times over. I feel like I'm going to reach my goal of 150 and I can't wait. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Stay blessed.

Yaasssssss girl .... so happy for you. You will soon join the ranks of fellow sleevers of the world, lol. It's tough at first but press through it with prayer and discipline. I am so happy for your approval. What a great present for the new year. Now go out n but you something like 3 sizes or so too small and make that your short term goal as a treat to yourself once you drop some weight. That's what I did and I look at it all the time and say I'm coming for you. Hopefully by march I can fit it, lol ????. Keep me posted and if I can help with any questions send me a private message and I will be more than happy too.

My advocate called Thursday 29th and told me she submitted...called the next day Friday 30th & told me I was approved and she has never seen them approve so fast. #WontHeDoIt

Hi @ Chel1... thanks for thinking of me. I'm going well with the weight loss yes but more importantly I'm doing great emotionally. I feel good about myself and my choice to have this surgery. I have times where it's not that easy ( like when I have nausea or can't poop) but I put my big girl panties on and I press forward with Gods help.

The insurance companies are slow as molasses. They don't speed up for anyone.. I pray for your approval and again thanks for keeping me on your mind. Keep in touch.

Hey Lady, Happy Holidays! You have been on my mind and I thought I would check back to see how you were doing. Looks like you are doing awesomeeeeeee! lol

I have completed everything and still waiting for slow pokes to submit to the insurance company. I am still trying to drop some pounds before hand anyway.

Keep up the good work and have a blessed, prosperous, healthy, & peaceful New Year!

Yes he does... I am now like 2 1/2 weeks out almost 3 and I'm down to 199 lbs... surgery weight was 219 lbs. I'm so grateful for this opportunity to regain good health. My highest weight was 242 lbs and a laundry list of health problems not to mention depression. But to God be the glory because he afforded this opportunity to me and I have a new lease on life. This has not been a walk in the park for me but I would have done it 3 times over. I feel like I'm going to reach my goal of 150 and I can't wait. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Stay blessed.

Have you tried counseling together or having him join you at support group?

Has he gone to any Dr Appointments with you to hear about all of your health conditions? Maybe he needs to hear it from a medical professional.

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Well , to update everyone. I am totally shocked that my hubby did a 360. He said that he was really impressed with how I look so far and he is excited to see end result. I have lost total 44 lbs so my body has really changed and he can't keep his hands off me. I told him that he is very superficial but he insists that he used to tell me how pretty I was at my heaviest as well ( yeah like twice a month compared to like 4 times a day since I lost all of this weight). I try not to focus on that too much due to I have so much going on . But it's bittersweet to me, sounds crazy but it is because I feel like oh now you find me irresistible but before , what was I ? Oh well... this is my year to focus on Diana and that's what I'm doing.