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Why can't I get the support I need[emoji17]



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@@janedoe92 I know it is annoying.... but they are your family and they worry about you... I'm sure she thinks she is helping. I know it's a pain in the a$$, but just nod and say, Thanks Antie.. but i went through all the classes, did all my research and i'm prepared for this. Are you can go the other rout and start word vomiting all the info you have and show her how prepared you are.

Good lucky sweetie

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Sometimes lady, just like someonr elsr said, you may have to cut them off in order to get better yourself. Sometimes the people that have alot of problems losing weight do really well when they drop those other extra pounds....lol.

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Word arguing? Bayougirl, ive never heard it put this way but its right on the money ....lol

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My family wasn't completely against the surgery at first.And they were not impressed the first couple months but they are certainly believers now that I'm smaller than they ever seen me and no longer unhealthy.

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This was a part of my decision making process when I was deciding who to tell.

My wife and I both had the surgery and discussed it openly with her parents before hand. Her 70 year old father cried and her mother was intrigued (she's obese) and also worried, but respected our decision. She didn't support it. Her father still doesn't think we did the right thing.

I told my parents after I had it done (called them the night I got home). I always planned to tell them, but I knew my mom's anxiety would be through the roof and that would make it hard on my dad. I didn't expect their support: mom's a pharmacist and doesn't even support taking Tylenol for a headache. There's drugs/surgeries you NEED, and in her mind this was an elective. She's been better than I expected, and that's because (as she said) "well, it's done. You'll make the most of it now".

I'm not telling my brother. He's on steroids, a gym rat bodybuilder who never struggled with his weight when we were kids, and honestly - I just don't like him. I don't want to deal with listening to any more of his opinions than I have to.

Ditto for brother in law, except he's borderline functioning IQ for an adult. I don't want him going around fabricating stories that everyone (including him) knows are false, and dealing with his wife's sniper-gossip.

The long and short of it is this: we're adults. I'm 32, wifey is 27 and we've been paying our own way since day 1. We rely on each other and ourselves for support, and don't expect or demand it from anyone else.

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

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      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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