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What has been the hardest part of your journey thus far?



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Honestly this has been the one question that i've been dying to ask everyone who has had wls.

Everyone is different, so what was the biggest change for you?

Was it realizing that you can no longer eat certain foods? Or is it exercise? Or was it emotional changes like depression?

Or anything else you can think of.

I'm just trying to get myself mentally prepared for all of the many changes about to come.

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Right after surgery 2-3 days, you have the overwhelming sense of loss. That maybe they took too much stomach, that there is no turning back, that you are gonna die. But it does go away. That was the worst part for me.

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@@hbrhonda surprisingly that was the one thing i never even thought about. But i'm sure i will right after my surgery.

@@Icantbelieveit oh wow, so it wasn't the types of food you were eating, just the portions that were causing anxiety? For me i think it will be a huge adjustment to realize that i can longer have some of my favorite foods. Because i just don't need them.

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For me the early portion of post-op and weight loss mode really wasn't hard. The weight fell off like magic, I got compliments all the time, I got to buy cute new clothes, I felt fantastic. I didn't have any complications and didn't experience any depression or regret or anxiety after the surgery.

Things got hard for me when I had to lose the last few pounds and transition into maintenance. I had been in denial about some things -- though I would have parroted back some wls sayings to you and swore that I believed them, things like "you have to change your relationship with food" and "you have to commit to this for the rest of your life." As I got closer to maintenance and then into maintenance, I realized that:

--I would have to work hard to maintain my new weight for the rest of my life, for real

--The way I ate in weight loss mode would be very very similar to the way I would have to eat for the rest of my life

--I would not be able to "eat what I want in moderation" and still be successful at maintenance

--I would not be able to have anything like a regular cheat/self-sabotage day or meal in maintenance and still be successful

All of these things did kind of put me in a tailspin. I basically gave up because I just felt defeated -- right at the time I should have been feeling triumphant! I ended up re-gaining about 20 lbs right after I hit my goal weight.

I managed to turn myself around, gave myself a good talking-to about the idiocy of feeling sorry for myself, and worked hard to get those 20 lbs off again.

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Before surgery, it was fear for my husbands life, and my fear of the unknown.

After surgery it was fear of what the hell is going to happen now, I will act like I am pitiful and post surgery.

Two days later I was walking in the grocery store.

Four days later I was in the mall, visualize what I might buy one day. I had a little cheese stick and Protein Shake with me so I would not be hungry, and damn!!! I never got hungry! Amaaaaaaazzzzziiiinnng!

Three years post op, NO FEAR!

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@@Bufflehead thank you!!! That's exactly what i wasn't sure about. I know i can do it but i know it's going to be hard. At the end of the day, how we're deciding to lose weight is different from most people so how we stay on track will be different too. It's sounds ok to hear but i'm sure once i actually am in that stage i'll know just how hard it is to maintain my new lifestyle. The no cheat meals will be hard for sure.

I think for me personally i'm going to meet with my dietician a few times after my surgery.

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@@hbrhonda surprisingly that was the one thing i never even thought about. But i'm sure i will right after my surgery.

@@Icantbelieveit oh wow, so it wasn't the types of food you were eating, just the portions that were causing anxiety? For me i think it will be a huge adjustment to realize that i can longer have some of my favorite foods. Because i just don't need them.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I never worried about not having a certain food ever again, because if I am that crazy about whatever food in time I can have it. Even if it isb3yrs down the road.

But the thought of no big bowl of Pasta, big plate of XYZ is out the window because of the physical impossibility actually gave me anxiety. I wasnt a big eater all the time, just a bad eater. So it took me off guard that this would be an issue.Wasn't a thought before surgery really.

I still have anxiety about eating a larger portion than I can handle, even with portioning. Paranoid about stretching my pouch. Paranoid if the portion will trigger me to stop losing. When I watch 600lb life and they dont lose or actually gain after surgery and I see their portion sizes, I always wonder how they can eat that amount.

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For me the early portion of post-op and weight loss mode really wasn't hard. The weight fell off like magic, I got compliments all the time, I got to buy cute new clothes, I felt fantastic. I didn't have any complications and didn't experience any depression or regret or anxiety after the surgery.

Things got hard for me when I had to lose the last few pounds and transition into maintenance. I had been in denial about some things -- though I would have parroted back some wls sayings to you and swore that I believed them, things like "you have to change your relationship with food" and "you have to commit to this for the rest of your life." As I got closer to maintenance and then into maintenance, I realized that:

--I would have to work hard to maintain my new weight for the rest of my life, for real

--The way I ate in weight loss mode would be very very similar to the way I would have to eat for the rest of my life

--I would not be able to "eat what I want in moderation" and still be successful at maintenance

--I would not be able to have anything like a regular cheat/self-sabotage day or meal in maintenance and still be successful

All of these things did kind of put me in a tailspin. I basically gave up because I just felt defeated -- right at the time I should have been feeling triumphant! I ended up re-gaining about 20 lbs right after I hit my goal weight.

I managed to turn myself around, gave myself a good talking-to about the idiocy of feeling sorry for myself, and worked hard to get those 20 lbs off again.

Yes on EVERYTHING you just said!!!

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Not being able to eat or take in a lot of fluids! I'm 8 days post op and I still can't have more than 3-4 bites. I had a terrible hernia that was repaired during surgery so my healing is progressing very slow. Thank goodness for popsicles!

I wonder.... When will it get better? What will my normal diet consist of?

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It will get better. My husband and I, and so many many people here, had hernia repairs during surgery. Just keep sipping. Look toward the prize!

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Long term maintenance has definitely been the toughest.

Looking back, Those first couple years were so exciting and easy. It may not have seemed that way at the time, of course. There was the liquid diets, the diarrhea, the Constipation, the fatigue, missing out on eating a lot of good foods, struggling to stay hydrated, the emotional break downs, etc. But these things were all temporary and the perceived sacrifices were rewarded with weight loss, lots of NSVs and a new wardrobe!

But maintenance is forever. Its boring, NSVs are nearly nonexistent and the scale doesn't really move unless it's in the wrong direction. You have to be diligent and stay on plan day after day after day. Like Bufflehead said, the way you eat to lose is very close to how you will have to eat to maintain....for the rest of your life! I have no doubt I Would not be able to do this without the psychological tools I got from my therapist and from the support and advice from those that went before me.

You are doing exactly what you need to be doing....asking lots of questions. The better prepared and informed you are, the better you will be able to deal with all the little negatives along the way. A good attitude and keeping your energy focused on the long term rewards will go a long ways in making everything easier.

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For me the early portion of post-op and weight loss mode really wasn't hard. The weight fell off like magic, I got compliments all the time, I got to buy cute new clothes, I felt fantastic. I didn't have any complications and didn't experience any depression or regret or anxiety after the surgery.

Things got hard for me when I had to lose the last few pounds and transition into maintenance. I had been in denial about some things -- though I would have parroted back some wls sayings to you and swore that I believed them, things like "you have to change your relationship with food" and "you have to commit to this for the rest of your life." As I got closer to maintenance and then into maintenance, I realized that:

--I would have to work hard to maintain my new weight for the rest of my life, for real

--The way I ate in weight loss mode would be very very similar to the way I would have to eat for the rest of my life

--I would not be able to "eat what I want in moderation" and still be successful at maintenance

--I would not be able to have anything like a regular cheat/self-sabotage day or meal in maintenance and still be successful

All of these things did kind of put me in a tailspin. I basically gave up because I just felt defeated -- right at the time I should have been feeling triumphant! I ended up re-gaining about 20 lbs right after I hit my goal weight.

I managed to turn myself around, gave myself a good talking-to about the idiocy of feeling sorry for myself, and worked hard to get those 20 lbs off again.

This is a beautiful and honest post, and I couldn't agree more.

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It will get better. My husband and I, and so many many people here, had hernia repairs during surgery. Just keep sipping. Look toward the prize!

It's good to know that I'm not alone. I will continue to sip until it gets better! I just wish I knew how long! ????

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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