I blew up at work yesterday and yelled at a co-worker. This is the same girl, Erin, that I've complained about before because she sabotages my eating. I've had serious talks asking her not to tempt me with food or candy. No matter what I say, she still brings me food, talks about food, invites me to eat, etc. Yesterday she marched in my office to announce a platter of cookies, and I lost it and started yelling. She turned beat red and stormed away. I felt bad so I apologized. She was humiliated because I yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, "FROM NOW ON I'M FINING YOU A QUARTER FOR EVERY SINGLE REFERENCE YOU MAKE TO FOOD IN MY OFFICE!" She finally "got it" and apologized and promised never to tempt me again. But it didn't last because 10:00 this morning she asked if I wanted Panda Express (one of my favorite binge places.) The word, "yes" started to come out of my mouth as my mind instantly imagined all the yummy, greasy dishes that I love, but somehow "no" came out, and I hung up. She doesn't have a clue how furious I am. So I meditated and decided to try one last thing, which is to ignore her completely. I'm her usual lunch buddy, but for now on she can sit alone every single day, which she'll hate. Hell, I'll even close my door to really burn her. She knows everything about my surgeries, my struggles, and my addictions. What's wrong with people? Maybe I'll bring a keg of beer to an AA meeting tonight and see if anyone wants a pitcher.

I've never met Erin, but I have met Lisa, and would LOVE to be Lisa's lunch buddy. Erin doesn't realize what a wonderful thoughtful caring person Lisa IS.

I miss you.

Im sorry she is being so insensitive

((hugs))

I hate to admit it, but I relate food to friendship. If someone comes over, I always want to get them something to eat/drink. If I go visit someone, I want to make something and bring them. I've always done a lot of baking as gifts to friends and neighbors (even in my "skinny" days). I love homemade, handmade things. That's one reason I loved Theresa's and Becky's hats so much!

Ya, My mom thaught me to always have some food/drinks for guests and all my friends say to quit cooking...so I have. Vegis and cold cuts is about it now. I had to stop putting food first. We're not going to stave.

An other thing I try to do is only eat when I'm hungry.

I'll take hand made anyday..That's one thing I've been teaching my daughter.

We are renting out our guest room temporarily to couple who we know. She was a big sabature. Always bringing me sweets and pints of ice cream even though I asked her not to many times. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, assuming she was doing it to try to be nice, and all the while, I was secretly giving the Snacks to my adult kids and their friends. Finally I had had it. I made a POINT and said...NO MORE food, Jane. If you want to give something to me, a nice flower or card is fine. Well, that night, she brought me a pint of my FAVORITE Haagan-Dais. I didn't say anything, but put it in the freezer. Later that evening, after my son and his G/F ate it, she asked if I enjoyed the ice cream. I said no, but my son and his G/F did alot. She was hurt. I told her if she INSISTED bringing crap into my home, just get whatever the kids liked since they didn't buy the stuff themselves, and I wouldn't be eating any of it. She said, "But I get it for you, because you like it so much. Otherwise I don't want to spend the money!" I said your choice is to STOP like I have asked you to do, or get whatever THEY want. Do you know, that was over 3 months ago, and the ONLY thing she brings home now are flowers??? LOL

-Blu-

233/172/125

I miss you Vera! I still have our picture in my office (the one with Sachi wearing the boa.)

Well, I made it the whole week avoid Erin at lunch. But nothing's changed. Today I was in the middle of a deposition (meaning we had several people in the office needing my assistance) and Erin was on my feet like my dog, following every step, eating chocolate and trying to get my attention about a can of ravioli at 8:45 a.m.. I spun around and snapped, "this isn't a time to be discussing ravioli" and I walked in my office and closed the door, practically in her face. After the deposition, my attorney asked me to have lunch in the lunch room (he has to suffer because of Erin, since Jon and I have been lunching together for years.) Well, Erin saw us and joined us with her lunch consisting of (I'm not lying here): family size package of bread rolls, package of deli ham, package of cheese, large carton of potato salad, coke, a bag of fried chicken legs, a jar of mayo, a bottle of Ranch and a jar of mustard. It was all spread out, so another attorney walked by and said, "you're having a buffet??" All Erin's food looked like a picnic for the entire table. All I had was some slices of cheese for lunch while Jon had Soup, but Erin somehow made us look like hogs.

wow, she's really got a serious problem.

Geez, sounds like Erin's a little slow on the uptake. Suggest she go downtown with you and pick out her casket. When she asks why tell her. "You're killing yourself, and driving me nuts. The least you should do is save your family the job of picking out the casket."

Then ask her if she's getting six of the male members of her family exercise equipmentfor Christmas. If she asks why explain to her that she'll want pall bearers who are fit, and strong.

Sounds extreme, but you'd think she'd get the hint. Good luck. Coworkers can be the worst or best part of our day.

Good luck, you deserve for things to get a little easier for you!

I dont' think she means any harm... I only say this because it seem as if she too has a problem and she can control herself... I don't think she is trying to be spiteful as much as eating is probably the way she relates to people and the world. I never realized how much eating I did with one particular friend until I got the band... eating is what we did. Little by little our friendship has slipped away because I don't want to go eat. I tried to explain that I would like to do anything else... but she still took it as rejection. Maybe your answer Lisa is to keep her at arms length (if you can I know it's the office) until she understands that if she keeps talking about food you will have nothing to do with her.

oops maybe I should have read all the post you have been avoiding her lol

Rica, you little skinny-minny, where have you been? How's your Dad doing?

Marie,

HI I have been as sick as a dog... what that means I don't know... How are you? Now that I am back I can't wait to chat, but no ever seems to be on. Is there a time that we chat live? I miss all of you! Oh and I loved being sick for one reason and one reason only I took of five lbs of easy weight!

This is the best place for venting. I just went in the kitchen to fill my daily water jug. Erin was eating goodies and preparing her breakfast of two muffin sandwiches, a Coke and a container of potato salad. Don't get me wrong, I ate just as bad till I weighed over 300 pounds, but I never let it affect anyone around me. My problem with Erin is that she has no shame whatsoever. We are both obese women, so every time she comes near me with mounds of food and Cokes, I feel like people are looking at "us" as if we are pigs. Like I'm guilty by association. Everybody knows that I've lost weight, but I see them looking at me like they are thinking "Lisa is going to gain all her weight back because her and Erin are always eating." It sucks, because I look forward to going into the lunchroom with Jon every day. But Erin took that daily pleasure away from me, because now I avoid her like the plague. Jon and I don't eat lunch together any more. My other co-worker, Karen, used to lunch with us every day but she hasn't been in the lunchroom for months because of Erin. I said good morning to Erin, but I walked away as she tried telling me about her weekend because I can't stand seeing her talk with her mouth full of food. Why doesn't she have an ounce of shame? We all know what it's like to be Erin, right? But gosh, could you imagine if she was trying to quit smoking and I offered her cigarettes every day? Or blew smoke in her face while handing her cigarette coupons, talking about the difference between regular and menthol while lighting smoke after smoke? What kind of person does that?

Seriously, can't your bosses put some rules in effect about eating at the office...like what times and where, and then make everyone stick to them?

The main reason I love this firm is because there are no rules. They are very particular about who they hire because the don't want to babysit. Too many office managers end up playing referree during employee squabbles, and I don't want any part of it. Reminds me of my last job where one obnoxious woman named MaryAnne wore leggings with short t-shirts (and she was pretty hefty.) There was no dress policy, so instead of talking directly to MaryAnne, they sent friendly memos to the whole firm asking us to use good judgment while dressing business-casual. MaryAnne refused to change her wardrobe, so the firm wrote an entire dress policy over that snot. Jeans and sandals were always allowed, but they were forbidden under the new dresscode. Every single person hated MaryAnne. I don't want to be the girl that screws anything up for the whole firm. I just eat alone now.