I blew up at work yesterday and yelled at a co-worker. This is the same girl, Erin, that I've complained about before because she sabotages my eating. I've had serious talks asking her not to tempt me with food or candy. No matter what I say, she still brings me food, talks about food, invites me to eat, etc. Yesterday she marched in my office to announce a platter of cookies, and I lost it and started yelling. She turned beat red and stormed away. I felt bad so I apologized. She was humiliated because I yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, "FROM NOW ON I'M FINING YOU A QUARTER FOR EVERY SINGLE REFERENCE YOU MAKE TO FOOD IN MY OFFICE!" She finally "got it" and apologized and promised never to tempt me again. But it didn't last because 10:00 this morning she asked if I wanted Panda Express (one of my favorite binge places.) The word, "yes" started to come out of my mouth as my mind instantly imagined all the yummy, greasy dishes that I love, but somehow "no" came out, and I hung up. She doesn't have a clue how furious I am. So I meditated and decided to try one last thing, which is to ignore her completely. I'm her usual lunch buddy, but for now on she can sit alone every single day, which she'll hate. Hell, I'll even close my door to really burn her. She knows everything about my surgeries, my struggles, and my addictions. What's wrong with people? Maybe I'll bring a keg of beer to an AA meeting tonight and see if anyone wants a pitcher.

I'm so disgusted right now. Our trial went horrible on Monday (I'm a paralegal) so it's been "all hands on deck" this week scrambling to appeal the decision. The whole office is running in circles over this enormous legal document that's about 200 pages. I'm working with 2 attorneys plus Erin (she's the secretary) to get this enormous project out before the noon runner arrives. So at 10:30 a.m. I was running in circles around the office, looking for Erin, who had a stack of the documents. I start smelling garlic, so I head to the kitchen to find her making two huge french bread pizzas in the toaster oven. She's got the pile of docs that WE NEED NOW sitting on the kitchen counter; she's got sauce on her fingers, burning them as she gets the hot pizza with bare hands. Who the hell stops to make french bread pizza at 10:00 a.m. in the middle of our most hectic day/disaster in years? Oh yeah, Erin does.

Well you have to pat yourself on the back Lisa..months ago you may have stopped to have that french bread pizza with her..What a great NSV for you . Good for you..not giving in to her!

That's so true. I'd have said, "yumm, gimme some." But actually, no I wouldn't have done that, not in the middle of a rush project in a law firm. Maybe I'd have snatched a piece and hid it in the fridge. I figured out that she waited for the partner to leave for a court hearing. She's sneaky that way.

Erin has a big problem. And it'll probably get even worse if or when she gets reamed out for smearing tomato sauce on court documents. Just remember, her food disorder is no reflection on you, and you don't have to be part of her obsession. She must be one of those people who turn to food when stressed out. Oh, yeah, I remember -- I was one too. Still am, in a small bandster way!

I stress-eat, too. But I've always had a good amount of humiliation. I couldn't imagine parading around the office at 10:00 a.m. with a man's dinner. Can't she be a normal obese woman and hide the food in her desk drawer? Just venting.

If this girl were into drugs instead of food, someone would do an intervention on her.

I hear ya, Leatha. I'm not here looking for answers, I just need to vent. Monday she came in my office and offered me an OJ and a McGriddle sandwich with a bite taken out of it. She ordered 2 meals for herself but wasn't feeling well so tried giving me the rest of the 2nd meal. Yes, after all the screaming at her, she still brings plates of food in my office. I told her that ordering 2 meals is a lot of food, but she said she orders 2 cause it holds her over till dinner, but then I see her sneak out to lunch and bring leftovers back. This time I took the OJ cuz I love OJ, but no, I didn't take her used sandwich. Just glad I can vent here.

She really thought you might want a sandwich she had already munched on? The girl needs help. She just doesn't get it, does she? You'd think after you told her several times not to bring you food, she'd be too embarrassed to even think about offering anything. What a weirdo!

You are amazing because if we were scrunched for time and a co-worker like Erin was around eating while we had a deadline I would have screamed at her (not really)

But I cringed at the thought if something would have happend to all the paper work..

And how could she offer you something she already put her cooties on.. Yuk

Be Strong! We can always sneak in and give her a good beat down...lol

I always laugh when this thread comes back! I already "lost it" with Erin once, but she keeps coming back for more abuse. Yesterday she came to tell me the corner buffet added a delicious new soup in case I needed to know. Like I could eat a buffet PLUS soup for lunch? WOOF. I should throw her a bone next time she approaches.

I think that Erin seems a bit "clueless". I can't imagine someone carrying on with food the way she seems too....the part about cooking with the documents was really something!

The sad truth is that no one can change her, or even influence her, if she doesn't want to change. It's hard to accept, especially if the person we are dealing with is the obnoxious sort! But, you have done great on your Quest, and can only take care of you. You have done a great job of doing that...

The evil side of me says you should post nutritional facts from various food items she likes, and tape them to the cabinets in the kitchen, or the fridge.

But...something tells me she would pay them no mind at all.........

Joan

I really appreciate everyone's response on this thread. I agree, nobody will ever change Erin. She lives in severe denial. She constanly tells me she eats so much during the day because she doesn't eat dinner, yet then she talks about what she cooked for dinner and brings in leftovers. I "grounded" her (refused to talk to her about anything that wasn't work-related) for the past couple weeks, so she didn't torture me with food. But then I started being nice again, so she instantly announced the new menu item at the corner buffet. If she gets out of hand, I will have to follow out my threat of keeping my office door closed with a NO FOOD sign on the door. It will horrify her, since the whole office will know she caused it, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do!

hey darla get the sign up as soon as you can!!

My Band sabateur was my former partner. i use the word former as i have now ended the relationship. My ex is 6ft 6" and a slim 15 stones and can eat what he wants. he met me when i was biggish and since i was banded he has continually placed the wrong foods in my path. Big bars of chocolate constantly placed in the fridge along side fresh cream trifles and whipped cream. ( all the foods i love) I asked him not to do it but he ignored me and it has gone on long enough.

The last straw was when i spoke to a friend and she told me that he doesnt want me to succeed with my weight loss as once i am slim other men will find me attractive and he cant cope with that.( he told her this inconfidence but he obviously overlooked the fact that she was my friend long before i met him)

Well pardon me mr skinny ex boyfriend but i have had plenty of attention from other men since i have been in a relationship with you so im obviously not that revolting...!!!!

And guess what peeps.... in the week since i asked him to move out i have lost 3lbs!!!. im sure other bandsters on here will agree with me that the band does not protect us from over indulging in choclate and cakes etc.

I know there are probably a few people on here that are thinking My God she ended her relationship over a bar of chocolate. Well i put myself through surgery in a foreign country at the cost of nearly 4000 pounds and the pain i had was awful.. So if my partner could not support me fully to lose the weight then the surgery would have been for nothing.

I know i should have shown greater control over my eating but i couldnt which is why i had surgery..

Its strange how he gave me cuddles and suppport when i cried in frustration about my weight prior to surgery and then set out to sabatage my weight loss once i had gone through with it..And this is a man that claimed to love me..well i think he might have been a fat admirer bordering on feeder as i gained 50lbs in weight when i was with him and in hindsight he only ever seemed happy when i was sat next to him on the sofa stuffing my face with food stuffs he had been to the shop to buy.

Has anyone else had this problem with a partner or am i the only one.?

love tracey

I can relate to your post Ladiebird. I've been with a few feeders, all thin men too... odd that. My sister-in-law is currently in a realationship with a man who adors fat women. (She and I are roughly the same size).

My dad also adored fat women. One of his favorite sayings was "a full barn and a plump wife never did any man harm." I know that he sabotaged every diet my mother was on. Oh sure, he would feed her, but we were a different story all together...