I blew up at work yesterday and yelled at a co-worker. This is the same girl, Erin, that I've complained about before because she sabotages my eating. I've had serious talks asking her not to tempt me with food or candy. No matter what I say, she still brings me food, talks about food, invites me to eat, etc. Yesterday she marched in my office to announce a platter of cookies, and I lost it and started yelling. She turned beat red and stormed away. I felt bad so I apologized. She was humiliated because I yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, "FROM NOW ON I'M FINING YOU A QUARTER FOR EVERY SINGLE REFERENCE YOU MAKE TO FOOD IN MY OFFICE!" She finally "got it" and apologized and promised never to tempt me again. But it didn't last because 10:00 this morning she asked if I wanted Panda Express (one of my favorite binge places.) The word, "yes" started to come out of my mouth as my mind instantly imagined all the yummy, greasy dishes that I love, but somehow "no" came out, and I hung up. She doesn't have a clue how furious I am. So I meditated and decided to try one last thing, which is to ignore her completely. I'm her usual lunch buddy, but for now on she can sit alone every single day, which she'll hate. Hell, I'll even close my door to really burn her. She knows everything about my surgeries, my struggles, and my addictions. What's wrong with people? Maybe I'll bring a keg of beer to an AA meeting tonight and see if anyone wants a pitcher.

Is Erin overweight? Maybe you can get her to start going to a soup and salad bar with you for lunch. You can influence her eating habits, but in a positive, healthy-foods way. How about if you brought a vegetable/dip tray to the office? Otherwise, I agree, avoid eating with her. That's too tempting.

Lisa, does she have a problem with weight herself? Because sometimes I think overweight people subconsciously don't want us to succeed at weight loss. And even if she's not overweight, it would seem that consciously or unconsciously she is threatened by your weight loss. I think that you would only have to tell most people one time not to tempt you and they would respect that.

Nancy

Erin has a very serious problem with eating. She is about 100 pounds overweight, but that's not even her biggest problem. She is in major denial. Come on, girls, she acts as if I don't know what it's like! She lies about her eating all the time. She says she eats all day because she doesn't eat at night, but then she brings in heaps of leftovers from last night's dinner (uh, I thought you don't eat dinner?) She eats like a football player, mouth wide open with food flying out talking a million miles an hour. I actually feel really rude because I can't look at her when I'm eating. Yesterday I actually stopped eating because she grossed me out. I even asked if we could sit and actually chew our food for a change without being in our usual rush. She had the nerve to tell me her family loses patience with her because she takes too long to eat - as I sit there watching food fly around! Honestly, who does she think she's fooling? I'm the Queen of Binge Blvd., Fast-Eating-Land and Obesity Planet. I know the dirtiest of food secrets. I know that you have to eat tremendous amounts of food to weigh 300 pounds. And as she's throwing down a hockey-player's lunch, she talks about what she's going to do when she gets to goal weight, as if she's dieting? Why would MY weightloss affect her? She tells everyone she can't exercise till March because that's when her karate class starts. I guess karate is the only form of exercise? I never, ever, ever, ever let my obesity or food obsession affect anyone around me. I feel like I'm trapped in a bad dream. That's how weird she's being because as I'm typing this, she's walking back and through the kitchen singing while eating Christmas cookies (right past my office.) Weird man, really weird.

Does Erin know that you've had weight loss surgery?

Oh Miss Lisa... I had a similar experience with a co-worker prior to being banded... except she was a skinny little picture of perfection. I would be dieting and would come back and find Cookies... and candy and other yummy things sitting on my desk with cute little loving notes on them. She was the most minipulative person I have known in my life. She is the one person I would love to parade a skinny butt around one day... unfortunately she has since been fired. Whoops... how wicked of me to smile.

Sounds like your co-worker is veeeery insecure and doesn't want to lose her partner in crime. I think it might be a case of the user going straight and you may not be able to hang with the friends that continue to use.

Darcy

You know the old saying " Misery loves Company"

Her being overweight she definately does not want to see you succeed! Plain and simple!!

I had the surgery before Erin started. I told her during her first week about my surgery because she thought I was dieting since I ate small. She "acts" very supportive of my surgery. She knows that I had my port removed, and she's an intelligent girl that understands what the port is. She knows about my open wound - she knows the entire story. Yet no matter what I say, she won't shut the F$%# up about food. I don't think I ever yelled at a co-worker before till yesterday.

She probably feels bad cause she is so big, and you are losing, so she will try anything to get you to stay her size. It seems like there is one in every crowd. She might act like it doesn't bother her, but it does.

Unfortunately, I have a co-worker like this too. She would never admit to sabotage, but everything is about food. Where are we going to eat, we HAVE to try the desserts. It's just a little or it's just for today, you can diet tomorrow.. The hardest part is that I know that this is MY battle, not hers. What she does really has little to do with me, except that I have no willpower, otherwise I wouldn't have needed this surgery. To be tied to these people at the hip (because we only get one car) and to have sit through these lavish dinners in high dollar restaurants and have to 'white knuckle' it through these dinners while watching them order wines and desserts is getting the best of me. This past week I fell right into the fantastic buffet at the casino we went to. I did good with the entrees. Stuck right to protein, portions were fine, but that darn dessert buffet won the battle in the end. I'm very disgusted with myself, once again...

THIS IS NOT A FAIR GAME because I had surgery before she even started here! This would only be a fair war if she knew me at my highest weight! Maybe she's not a full 100 pounds overweight, but it's not her size that's the problem. It's her friggin all-day-long obsession with walking around with food. The other skinny paralegal said, "she sure is focused on food, isn't she?" And I thought she learned her lesson last month; she made a full plate of breakfast plus a can of coke. She walked into our attorneys office trying to juggle all her food and a bunch of documents and dumped the whole plate down her shirt - RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ATTORNEY! I would have been horrified if I did something like that in front of the file clerk, let alone the boss. I was so embarassed for her, and she turned bright red. But that didn't even stop her.

Sounds like she has a pretty bad problem herself... Poor thing. I wonder how truly miserable she is in her own skin?

Food is probably her best friend right now. Maybe you should sit down and have a nice talk with her.

Can your bosses regulate when and where people are eating in the office? Like lunch time in the break room?

I'll probably sabatage myself with my party tomorrow night. I am baking cookies, making candy, and of course some food to serve. Of course there will be drinks too!

I hope I make it through without too many licks, bites, and tastes! lol

We sat down a few times and had "nice" talks. She always feels bad and promises not to tempt me. I'm not the best bandster because I splurge quite a bit. As long as I'm not uncomfortable from eating too much, then I'm happy with my band. Restaurants, desserts laying around and candy dishes don't bother me. I'm talking about food being marched right into my office! She stands in my doorway holding cookies, chips, soda, and while eating asks, "want to to to Baskin Robins?" Or she calls my line to tell me she has chocolate or Cheetos at her desk if I want any. Yes, I'm sure she's very unhappy, but how selfish to push that off on me or anyone else! I'm still 100 pounds overweight by some statistics, so I laugh when I think someone sees me as a threat because that seems ridiculous. I fight my own battles and won't bring anything up to the boss. I'm gonna kill her with silence. One more mention of food and my door gets closed, then the boss will ask "why is your door always closed?" And I'll tell him. Let him figure it out.