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Husband Isn't being supportive

luli1690

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luli1690    31

luli1690
Posted

Hello everyone, I need some advice. My Husband is not being supportive at all. I am in so much stress and I do not even have My surgery date. My mother was sleeved 4 years ago. All he keeps saying is That's the reason I want to get the surgery. He says that i dont need that and that Im being stupid. I think he does not want me to get sleeved because dont have kids. We hhave being married for 3 years.

I dont know What to say to him. Im getting tired.

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OKCPirate    5,323

OKCPirate
Posted

That is a big red flag. Why wouldn't someone be supportive of their partner trying to make a healthy change. I have no idea of all the relationship dynamics, but that is my initial read. I get concerns, esp. early before education, but that one scares me.

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Pescador    1,374

Pescador
Posted

I honestly believe you must figure this out, considering your age, weight and health, and the strength of your marriage. Good luck, maybe you can take him to your Pastor, a therapist, or anyone who can help you with professional help. Best wishes, be strong!

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Social Introvert    28

Social Introvert
Posted

Well there's got to be a buried reason why he's not supportive. I would ask him if he is scared of what could happen and then ask him if he trusts you, and if he does then he should trust that you want to do what's best for your health in the long run. I wouldn't argue or go back and forth with him, but at the very end of the day, sweetheart you have to do what's best for YOU, and pray that he comes around and sees that your need to be healthy is far more important than his ego!

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Lema    236

Lema
Posted

If I were you and my husband did not want to support, I would focus on this process all by myself rather than babysitting his emotional hind at this point. If he makes negative comments, tell him to keep them to himself and that you don't have the patience for the drama at the moment.

Once you have healed, deal with him.

Maybe he is insecure and afraid that a thin you will not choose him, maybe in our attempt to fix our healths, we don't give them the attention they deserve.. At the end, you need to focus on your health and at this point, there is no room for extra drama from anyone.

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Dub    9,922

Dub
Posted

Idiots gonna idiot.

You gotta live for yourself.

Let him dictate his ignorance to his next wife.................while you are having much fun with boyfriend # 7.

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Pescador    1,374

Pescador
Posted

Dub, you re priceless, one in a million. Thanks for the smiles.

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Mindy78    372

Mindy78
Posted

One of the reasons I started this process in January, w/ 38 fast approaching was health and fertility issues. God had a different plan. Diagnosed w uterine cancer in April and partial just in June changed that, but I had already lost a little weight and was feeling much better. Still being diabetic I decided to proceed. My boyfriend who I met in April wasn't exactly supportive when I first told him my plans. Now on the w week liquid diet I tease him about "I'm gonna eat this or that" he tells me no because I have surgery coming up.

He has insecurity and trust issues, not from me, but his past. He worries because after all, it's surgery. Because he thinks I'm beautiful at 260ish. Those were his reasons. Mine were I don't want to be like both my parents and die at a young age, it took me this long to find him. I need all the time I can get.

It's one of those things you need to decide for yourself I think. Just pray about it, and God for his guidance.

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tenseintexas    182

tenseintexas
Posted

When I first told my husband he was very hesitant - I was disappointed - but when I asked further- it was because he was worried about the risks- he read lots and lots and about it then got fully behind me . He has been so supportive afterwards too And I was so down afterwards - thank goodness he was their to pick me up! I am hoping yours will do the same

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Pescador    1,374

Pescador
Posted

MindyMe, I could give you tons of advice, from my life. But knowing what I do, I really know that this is something that you have to work through. I wish you the very best, I hope you seek out professional help for strength, and I am so sorry about your health and fertitility problems.

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FabULess    2

FabULess
Posted

Great advice so far, but what helped for us is hubby attended a bariatric surgeons open house at the hospital which really helped. (Even if not ur Dr) lots of info and Q&A time. Good luck to you!

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