Howdy, Friends:

I'm in the process of getting approved and I'm finding that I'm catching a lot of grief about not being "fat enough" to get weight loss surgery.

I'm 32 years old, 5'6'', 275 lbs, BMI of 44.4 with a sleep apnea diagnosis. I've told a handful of people of my intentions, and I'm finding that these folks are saying "why are you getting surgery? You're not that fat/unhealthy!" My first mental response is "well, you aren't that polite!" but I'd like to be armed with a little bit more data. What's the median BMI for gastric sleevers? Am I really not "fat enough", or can I throw a stat out there showing that I am indeed an ideal candidate for this surgery? Or should I just be telling folks to pound sand and move on?

Has anyone else dealt with this?

it's just because you don't need an ambulance to move you???

I'd just say bless you for thinking so, but the facts prove otherwise and move on.

Priceless comeback!!

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@

This is the exact reason only told my hubby and four years out he still is the only one that knows.

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Howdy, Friends:

I'm in the process of getting approved and I'm finding that I'm catching a lot of grief about not being "fat enough" to get weight loss surgery.

I'm 32 years old, 5'6'', 275 lbs, BMI of 44.4 with a sleep apnea diagnosis. I've told a handful of people of my intentions, and I'm finding that these folks are saying "why are you getting surgery? You're not that fat/unhealthy!" My first mental response is "well, you aren't that polite!" but I'd like to be armed with a little bit more data. What's the median BMI for gastric sleevers? Am I really not "fat enough", or can I throw a stat out there showing that I am indeed an ideal candidate for this surgery? Or should I just be telling folks to pound sand and move on?

Has anyone else dealt with this?

YES! Do not dwell on that. I am there too! Those people do not get that there is so much more to it! The people who MATTER know that I want this for my overall health, well-being and quality of life. I want to get rid of my CPAP and get real sleep! I want to run around with my future grandchildren. I want off diabetes medicine! I want less joint pain, and yes I want to wear clothes that dont have an X in the size!

You focus on what you know is best for you!

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I've posted about getting that comment several times too! I talked to a few friends over a year ago when I first started thinking about it and that was the response I got the most. "You're not THAT fat". Seriously? Is that supposed to be a compliment? They usually followed it up with tons of unsolicited diet and exercise advice.

I'm only telling my husband after I made the mistake of telling my best girl friend and heard nothing but negativity. I know she won't tell anyone else though, neither will I!

I get that alot, but everyone is different and only you know how your weight is affecting you

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@@Jim Paulette, you don't have to explain anything to anyone. Your body, your health, your life, your choice. Not only that, but I'll bet that more than a few of them are considerably, indubitably chubby.

Never heard of pounding sand, so I'll choose to alternate between "keep marching down the beach" and "go use a litter box."

Edited September 16, 20169 yr by WLSResources/ClothingExch

I get this all I time .Or you just need to work out.Everyone carries their weight different .

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I was the same height/weight/BMI as you when I started this process. I'm obese but I carry myself well so other people don't really think of me as being unhealthy. It's not until I told my boyfriend how much I weighed that he realized I needed this surgery. I'm down 23 lbs and my BMI is at 40 now. The people around you will start to get it sooner or later. If they don't then just keep knowing in your head that you DO need this. Don't let them feed your ego because that's when you'll start to agree with them and fall down this path again. It started to happen to me last week and I caught it really quick and I'm back.

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Add me to the list of people that hear/heard that, sometimes from other patients in the waiting room at my doc's office. I had a BMI of 35, but also had PCOS, high BP and cholesterol, and the dreaded sleep apnea. I am so very fortunate to be built in a pretty solid hour glass shape and have always been large chested, so I carried my weight all over. I had no issue with the way I looked, but definitely was crossing that line into diabetes and anyone who deals with sleep apnea knows that's no picnic.

I chose to tell a small number of people. I've had a range from the usual negative comments to "I am excited for you because I know you're going to feel better". I have one friend who says she supports me but I am starting to see that may not be the case. Oh well. I don't let it bother me. I have to worry about me and do my thing.

The stranger end of it is now everyone expects me to drop a huge amount of weight all at once. So the same people who thought I wasn't large enough for the surgery are now commenting about the weight not just flying off. I'm ony 2 weeks post op! LOL

So summary, the only person you need to please or worry about is YOU.

One thing I don't do is discuss my weight, health and surgery with strangers in a waiting room. My weight is not discussed with my neighbors or family. Too many people have their opinions, and AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH I don't want their opinions!!!!!!! I just want to enjoy life!

@ I don't discuss it in the waiting room either but inevitably they always asked after general and pleasant conversation "Are you post-op?" which I wasn't at the time. I keep most things to myself but I wasn't going to admonish them in that setting and I wasn't going to lie. My doctor's office has a wonderful environment and I think that just made people feel more open, as after all we are all there for the same thing.

Vamping, three years post surgery, I think I am just allergic to my weight being the topic of conversations, and they have no idea I had the sleeve. If people knew, they just want to go on and on. I really admire people who are open about it because let's face it, there is NO need to be ashamed. I would support anyone who shared with me, it just bothers me to talk about myself! No harm intended, best of luck!

I think shows like My 600-lb Life perpetuate the myth that people should only be having weight loss surgery if they can't move. I think that's bologna - I tend to be a data-driven person and I like to throw stats out there to reinforce my position, but I'm having a tough time finding any.

Mmmm, bologna! I think it's time for some protein!

@ I don't discuss it in the waiting room either but inevitably they always asked after general and pleasant conversation "Are you post-op?" which I wasn't at the time.

"I'm sure you don't realize how personal that question is." Big smile and nothing else said.

sleep apnea can be a killer.

Getting some possible relief from this alone is worth the price of surgery.

Folks that don't live with you don't fully know the impact that the medical issues that being overweight contributes to in your life. Even those living with you may not "get it". My wife, for instance, understood some of the struggles I was dealing with, but I'd concealed a lot from her. I didn't want to scare her with some of it.

Once I made it through the surgery and down the road 4 months or so.....I opened up to her and others more about my rationale and motivations for having weight loss surgery. After these conversations......all were fully supportive and understanding......and grateful I was seeing the relief from each of the signs the Grim Reaper was taking interest in me.....

Many people......hell, many patients.....equate weight loss surgery with simply "looking better". Our society is all about looks, no ?

Most people simply go through their lives blissfully ignorant to medical fears......until it strikes them or close to them.

Just tell them there are other issues that you are combating with this surgery or that you are being proactive to circumvent these issues. Living as an obese person is almost a guarantee to experience much more severe health issues and at a much earlier stage in life than is normal.

I agree, I've been wanting/needing the surgery for a few years, hubby is 5'5" about a buck 140. He just didn't want me to go under the knife as he put it. But this year things changed, my last visit to my pcp, I just had my by annual bloodwork done and he basically said I needed to get all my numbers down because he was afraid of me having a heart attack or stroke. I DID NOT tell hubby this until after the surgery. He was upset but us know, it's over and done with now and he knows I'm happier and couldn't be prouder of me. I'm 7 weeks out and just a hint over 30lbs down.

Before, around June and after about 3 weeks ago.

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