Negative comments - not "fat enough"?

[Jim Paulette 12]

Howdy, Friends:

I'm in the process of getting approved and I'm finding that I'm catching a lot of grief about not being "fat enough" to get weight loss surgery.

I'm 32 years old, 5'6'', 275 lbs, BMI of 44.4 with a sleep apnea diagnosis. I've told a handful of people of my intentions, and I'm finding that these folks are saying "why are you getting surgery? You're not that fat/unhealthy!" My first mental response is "well, you aren't that polite!" but I'd like to be armed with a little bit more data. What's the median BMI for gastric sleevers? Am I really not "fat enough", or can I throw a stat out there showing that I am indeed an ideal candidate for this surgery? Or should I just be telling folks to pound sand and move on?

Has anyone else dealt with this?

[Christinamo7 4,041]

it's just because you don't need an ambulance to move you???

I'd just say bless you for thinking so, but the facts prove otherwise and move on.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@Jim Paulette

First tell them to pound sand.

A BMI over 40 puts you at Obesity Class 3, which puts you at high health risk, so you are definitely heavy enough for surgery.

The best way to not have to listen to peoples dumb comments about your surgery is not tell them. When you tell people your business, you invite them to comment, good, bad and the ugly.

[Jim Paulette 12]

I think shows like My 600-lb Life perpetuate the myth that people should only be having weight loss surgery if they can't move. I think that's bologna - I tend to be a data-driven person and I like to throw stats out there to reinforce my position, but I'm having a tough time finding any.

[Jim Paulette 12]

@@Jim Paulette

First tell them to pound sand.

A BMI over 40 puts you at Obesity Class 3, which puts you at high health risk, so you are definitely heavy enough for surgery.

The best way to not have to listen to peoples dumb comments about your surgery is not tell them. When you tell people your business, you invite them to comment, good, bad and the ugly.

Definitely a fair point.

[Armygalbonnie 643]

My BMI is 35.2, and I will be having surgery. I have fought my weight my whole life. I have joint issues and sleep apnea. I NEED THIS!

[Dub 9,922]

sleep apnea can be a killer.

Getting some possible relief from this alone is worth the price of surgery.

Folks that don't live with you don't fully know the impact that the medical issues that being overweight contributes to in your life. Even those living with you may not "get it". My wife, for instance, understood some of the struggles I was dealing with, but I'd concealed a lot from her. I didn't want to scare her with some of it.

Once I made it through the surgery and down the road 4 months or so.....I opened up to her and others more about my rationale and motivations for having weight loss surgery. After these conversations......all were fully supportive and understanding......and grateful I was seeing the relief from each of the signs the Grim Reaper was taking interest in me.....

Many people......hell, many patients.....equate weight loss surgery with simply "looking better". Our society is all about looks, no ?

Most people simply go through their lives blissfully ignorant to medical fears......until it strikes them or close to them.

Just tell them there are other issues that you are combating with this surgery or that you are being proactive to circumvent these issues. Living as an obese person is almost a guarantee to experience much more severe health issues and at a much earlier stage in life than is normal.

[blizair09 3,250]

sleep apnea can be a killer.

Getting some possible relief from this alone is worth the price of surgery.

Folks that don't live with you don't fully know the impact that the medical issues that being overweight contributes to in your life. Even those living with you may not "get it". My wife, for instance, understood some of the struggles I was dealing with, but I'd concealed a lot from her. I didn't want to scare her with some of it.

Once I made it through the surgery and down the road 4 months or so.....I opened up to her and others more about my rationale and motivations for having weight loss surgery. After these conversations......all were fully supportive and understanding......and grateful I was seeing the relief from each of the signs the Grim Reaper was taking interest in me.....

Many people......hell, many patients.....equate weight loss surgery with simply "looking better". Our society is all about looks, no ?

Most people simply go through their lives blissfully ignorant to medical fears......until it strikes them or close to them.

Just tell them there are other issues that you are combating with this surgery or that you are being proactive to circumvent these issues. Living as an obese person is almost a guarantee to experience much more severe health issues and at a much earlier stage in life than is normal.

This is so true. I was teetering on the edge of diabetes, needing to take medicine for cholesterol levels, and who knows what with my out-of-control fatty liver. That is why I am taking this journey. (The smaller size and cool clothes are just awesome fringe benefits.)

Most people who say these things have no idea what it is like to walk in your shoes. (And some of them probably do know, but haven't had their moment of reckoning yet.) You do what is right for you, and to hell with them!

All the best!

[Womanvsmirror 314]

I just got this bs from a nurse at the er.. After looking at my chart she said "im thinking about having that done, have you lost a bunch of weight already?" When informed her that ive lost 30 lbs she went on and on on how did i get insurance to cover it no way was i big enough to NEED surgery etc. But i got that from nurses at the hospital i got it done at as well....Do i care no! thankfully the few people in my personal life that know have not said diddly about it, they know me well enough to know that their opinion on my body does not matter . They will talk about you if you get healthy, and they will talk about if you gain 100 more lbs.....I hate that this type of surgery has to be explained ....if you had a bad heart nobody will say "well its still beating so you dont need surgery"

[Pescador 1,374]

My response is to keep your business to yourself and you won't be debating your surgery and your weight. ❤️

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'm not stupid enough to listen to some people's opinions.

[Ragdollorchid 128]

The same judgmental people who called me fat at 150 lbs. would tell me I'm not heavy enough for weight loss surgery at nearly 250!

Just people who get in other's business.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[laceemouse 631]

Howdy, Friends:

I'm in the process of getting approved and I'm finding that I'm catching a lot of grief about not being "fat enough" to get weight loss surgery.

I'm 32 years old, 5'6'', 275 lbs, BMI of 44.4 with a sleep apnea diagnosis. I've told a handful of people of my intentions, and I'm finding that these folks are saying "why are you getting surgery? You're not that fat/unhealthy!" My first mental response is "well, you aren't that polite!" but I'd like to be armed with a little bit more data. What's the median BMI for gastric sleevers? Am I really not "fat enough", or can I throw a stat out there showing that I am indeed an ideal candidate for this surgery? Or should I just be telling folks to pound sand and move on?

Has anyone else dealt with this?

This is why I am not telling anyone except for my husband and adult kids. I am not even going to tell my closest friends, maybe after the surgery but not before. I know they would have all kinds of opinions I don't want to hear.

For insurance purposes, a BMI of 40 (which is morbid obesity by the way) is usually all that is needed for approval.

A BMI between 30 and 39 (classified as obese) is usually approved if the person has other health problems related to their weight.

We live in a society that has an over-inflated idea of what constitutes normal weight. I am sure my friends would consider me chubby but they would never call me morbidly obese. Most people think you only use a term like that for people who are too fat to get out of the bed, as someone said like My 600 Pound Life.

Another issue that people who have had WLS have is when they start getting close to goal they are called "too skinny". Part of the reason for this is people are used to seeing us heavy, but it also has to do with the fact that no one understand what healthy weight really is. Go look at a healthy weight chart and see how low it is......

[LowBMISleever 381]

I'm 5'6", 31 years old. I had the surgery at 180 pounds. Best decision of my life. I'm 8 weeks post op and weigh 148. Everyone was nasty to me about it too, but it's all high fives and "you look awesome" now. I have NEVER regretted my choice. I did it for longterm health and to stop the endless cycle of yoyo diets. You are ABSOLUTELY doing the right thing!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Pescador 1,374]

My husbands 30 year old son has no idea of our sleeve. Also, very close long time friends have no idea. Life is good and simple.