Hi everybody,

I'm having a difficult time discerning who I should tell I'm having surgery to.

So far my husband and best friend know, and they are totally on board.

I'm concerned about telling people at work. I work with an awesome bunch of people, my boss especially. I know I would not have issues taking time off for the surgery itself. I'm a desk jockey of sorts and the only exercise I get at work is the walk to and from the train station and to any meetings I might have, so I'm not too worried about only taking a week or so off. My main concern is all the appointments I'll need. I just got the appointment/pre-post-op class schedule.In addition to the surgeon visit, I also need to meet with psych and nut multiple times in addition the the pre-op "classes" they make you take. My boss is super cool and typically will not dock our ET (we're salaried) if we need to go to a Dr's appt. I'm just concerned she might think I'm "milking it" by going to so many appts and not being 100% transparent about why I suddenly have to go so frequently.

At first I thought I'd be totally comfortable with telling people, like other friends and my family, but the more I think about it, the more self-conscious I get about it. I can definitely see some of them saying "you don't need it" or "you just need to try harder to lose weight" or "so-and-so had WLS and they look like crap". Thing is, I DO know some people who have had WLS and DO look like crap, but they also don't follow the post-op plan/lifestyle. However, I know why they look like crap because of all the research I've done. I know other people who have had WLS who look great. Other people who haven't done the research seem to think WLS itself just makes people skinny and look sickly. That was a concern of my husbands'. He wants me to talk to his aunt who is a nurse anesthetist, and she's seen every type of surgery under the sun.

I've made up my mind about the surgery. This is what I want and what I need. I've never been so sure of something in my life. However, I'm the type of person that needs reassurance all the time, and if enough people deter me from an idea, I may not do it even if I know I want to. (Truly, you should have seen me wedding dress shop with my bridal party. It was a nightmare.).

Sorry for the rambling. Every time I'm on this board I feel so awesome about my choices and my future. When I go into the real world, it's not so reassuring.

@@Ldyvenus he should not have inquired totally inappropriate and likely illegal make a note of this occurrence in writing/note on a journal. Not saying you need to raise with hr. You could casually mention or not. He query may have come from ignorance of hr and human inclination to ask.

You chose a good thing to say based on similarity to procedures and the fact that you didn't say gal bladder in case the gb surgery is something you need in future.

Good luck!

I'm dealing with the same issue. I'm scheduled for Nov 17. Of course my hubs knows as well as my mom. I'm planning on not telling anyone else until after the surgery. Although I'm so excited about it that I want to shout it from the rootops. I want only positive comments pre surgery and I can't guarantee that from people.

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I told my boss today. Good conversation. I've said before - I have been there 20 years and it will be obvious that I had WLS once I start losing weight all of a sudden since dieting never worked in the past. I really don't want to hide it anyway. I don't care what people say about it. I hate most of the backstabbing, petty bitches I work with anyway! Lol ????????

I told my boss today. Good conversation. I've said before - I have been there 20 years and it will be obvious that I had WLS once I start losing weight all of a sudden since dieting never worked in the past. I really don't want to hide it anyway. I don't care what people say about it. I hate most of the backstabbing, petty b*****s I work with anyway! Lol

This is how I feel too. I've been at my job for 5 years and I do work with a great bunch of people. But I've been the fattest of the bunch for all these years, and when I lose weight, particularly at the speed with WLS, they will know something is up. I've told my boss for now just because I feel like it's right for her to know exactly why I have to miss work for all these appointments and will need time off in a few months. Fortunately my schedule is super flexible and she'll let me WFH after the surgery for a bit. She's super supportive, and I think everyone else will be too. I think it's better to tell the rest of them after it's said and done so I won't have to hear "I know a person who knows a person who DIED from this" or "You can gain all the weight back" or "You're not THAT fat, you don't need surgery". I've heard that last one too many times.