Hi everybody,

I'm having a difficult time discerning who I should tell I'm having surgery to.

So far my husband and best friend know, and they are totally on board.

I'm concerned about telling people at work. I work with an awesome bunch of people, my boss especially. I know I would not have issues taking time off for the surgery itself. I'm a desk jockey of sorts and the only exercise I get at work is the walk to and from the train station and to any meetings I might have, so I'm not too worried about only taking a week or so off. My main concern is all the appointments I'll need. I just got the appointment/pre-post-op class schedule.In addition to the surgeon visit, I also need to meet with psych and nut multiple times in addition the the pre-op "classes" they make you take. My boss is super cool and typically will not dock our ET (we're salaried) if we need to go to a Dr's appt. I'm just concerned she might think I'm "milking it" by going to so many appts and not being 100% transparent about why I suddenly have to go so frequently.

At first I thought I'd be totally comfortable with telling people, like other friends and my family, but the more I think about it, the more self-conscious I get about it. I can definitely see some of them saying "you don't need it" or "you just need to try harder to lose weight" or "so-and-so had WLS and they look like crap". Thing is, I DO know some people who have had WLS and DO look like crap, but they also don't follow the post-op plan/lifestyle. However, I know why they look like crap because of all the research I've done. I know other people who have had WLS who look great. Other people who haven't done the research seem to think WLS itself just makes people skinny and look sickly. That was a concern of my husbands'. He wants me to talk to his aunt who is a nurse anesthetist, and she's seen every type of surgery under the sun.

I've made up my mind about the surgery. This is what I want and what I need. I've never been so sure of something in my life. However, I'm the type of person that needs reassurance all the time, and if enough people deter me from an idea, I may not do it even if I know I want to. (Truly, you should have seen me wedding dress shop with my bridal party. It was a nightmare.).

Sorry for the rambling. Every time I'm on this board I feel so awesome about my choices and my future. When I go into the real world, it's not so reassuring.

I haven't told anyone yet. Just my medical team. 2 months post op.

Hi everybody,

I'm having a difficult time discerning who I should tell I'm having surgery to.

So far my husband and best friend know, and they are totally on board.

I'm concerned about telling people at work. I work with an awesome bunch of people, my boss especially. I know I would not have issues taking time off for the surgery itself. I'm a desk jockey of sorts and the only exercise I get at work is the walk to and from the train station and to any meetings I might have, so I'm not too worried about only taking a week or so off. My main concern is all the appointments I'll need. I just got the appointment/pre-post-op class schedule.In addition to the surgeon visit, I also need to meet with psych and nut multiple times in addition the the pre-op "classes" they make you take. My boss is super cool and typically will not dock our ET (we're salaried) if we need to go to a Dr's appt. I'm just concerned she might think I'm "milking it" by going to so many appts and not being 100% transparent about why I suddenly have to go so frequently.

At first I thought I'd be totally comfortable with telling people, like other friends and my family, but the more I think about it, the more self-conscious I get about it. I can definitely see some of them saying "you don't need it" or "you just need to try harder to lose weight" or "so-and-so had WLS and they look like crap". Thing is, I DO know some people who have had WLS and DO look like crap, but they also don't follow the post-op plan/lifestyle. However, I know why they look like crap because of all the research I've done. I know other people who have had WLS who look great. Other people who haven't done the research seem to think WLS itself just makes people skinny and look sickly. That was a concern of my husbands'. He wants me to talk to his aunt who is a nurse anesthetist, and she's seen every type of surgery under the sun.

I've made up my mind about the surgery. This is what I want and what I need. I've never been so sure of something in my life. However, I'm the type of person that needs reassurance all the time, and if enough people deter me from an idea, I may not do it even if I know I want to. (Truly, you should have seen me wedding dress shop with my bridal party. It was a nightmare.).

Sorry for the rambling. Every time I'm on this board I feel so awesome about my choices and my future. When I go into the real world, it's not so reassuring.

It's no ones biz. I wouldn't tell anyone. You are having medical issues if they want to know about the dr visits.

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Me personally I told everyone bc I'm starting a Vlog and sharing every step of the way

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I told only my sis she is behind me 100% I recently told my mom only cause my surgery date is on the 4 of October I honestly don't feel like I need to tell anyone else I just want to really focus on myself and not have to worry about anyone talking me out of it good luck to u

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Edited September 3, 20169 yr by TammyMMD

I told my husband and my mom and kids and a select few people at work and they have been so supportive I had mine sleeve done on the 22nd of August and going back to work on Tuesday and my boss is behind me 100% in helping me in what ever I need

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My husband my children and friends

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I'm self-employed. So I told a couple of my clients that I have known for over 30 years. I told my closet brother. But that was it. I didn't have a lot of appts pre or post. Just the surgeon, nutritionist pre-eval and psych so I'm unsure about all your appt? Most of the appt where minimal regarding time. Gl

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You sound exactly like me. I am new to my job, only 8 months in. My new job is what allowed me to get insurance coverage for the surgery! I told my boss when I started to have appts that I would have a surgery coming up in the near future that I will have some appts for. I did not tell him what type of surgery. He was very supportive. When knew of the surgery date I told him when and explained the time that I would need off. I had my surgery on last Tuesday and will be back to work next Tuesday. I am a manager so I chose to take a company laptop home with me so I could approve invoices, payments and time sheets. A few less things then my boss would have to deal with.

I only told my sisters, obviously my husband and son, my two best friends and a cousin. I told everyone that I wanted it to be kept quiet. My husband works with a family member and I don't want to be the gossip of the break room. It will be obvious at a certain point but until then I want it to come out on my terms and I don't want my husband to have to deal with gossip at work.

It's your choice and health. Do what you feel comfortable with!! I did all of my research and then some, I am 100% committed to making this a lifestyle for me and have always been active, losing the weight will make that part of my life a lot easier!!

Hi everybody,

I'm having a difficult time discerning who I should tell I'm having surgery to.

So far my husband and best friend know, and they are totally on board.

I'm concerned about telling people at work. I work with an awesome bunch of people, my boss especially. I know I would not have issues taking time off for the surgery itself. I'm a desk jockey of sorts and the only exercise I get at work is the walk to and from the train station and to any meetings I might have, so I'm not too worried about only taking a week or so off. My main concern is all the appointments I'll need. I just got the appointment/pre-post-op class schedule.In addition to the surgeon visit, I also need to meet with psych and nut multiple times in addition the the pre-op "classes" they make you take. My boss is super cool and typically will not dock our ET (we're salaried) if we need to go to a Dr's appt. I'm just concerned she might think I'm "milking it" by going to so many appts and not being 100% transparent about why I suddenly have to go so frequently.

At first I thought I'd be totally comfortable with telling people, like other friends and my family, but the more I think about it, the more self-conscious I get about it. I can definitely see some of them saying "you don't need it" or "you just need to try harder to lose weight" or "so-and-so had WLS and they look like crap". Thing is, I DO know some people who have had WLS and DO look like crap, but they also don't follow the post-op plan/lifestyle. However, I know why they look like crap because of all the research I've done. I know other people who have had WLS who look great. Other people who haven't done the research seem to think WLS itself just makes people skinny and look sickly. That was a concern of my husbands'. He wants me to talk to his aunt who is a nurse anesthetist, and she's seen every type of surgery under the sun.

I've made up my mind about the surgery. This is what I want and what I need. I've never been so sure of something in my life. However, I'm the type of person that needs reassurance all the time, and if enough people deter me from an idea, I may not do it even if I know I want to. (Truly, you should have seen me wedding dress shop with my bridal party. It was a nightmare.).

Sorry for the rambling. Every time I'm on this board I feel so awesome about my choices and my future. When I go into the real world, it's not so reassuring.

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Edited September 5, 20169 yr by Dinks97420

I only told a few people. Basically it was my family and fiends who had had surgery before for the support.

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Everyone feels different about sharing this information. For me, I am a supervisor and work with a talented crew. I feel it is very important for me to be 100% honest with those that I work with. So I openly talked about it with anyone that asked. Once it came time for pre-op liquid diet, they were wonderfully respectful and made sure to try and do their group lunches when I was busy. Or if I was there they were not offended by me being in my office while they ate. They are all behind me 100% in this endeavor. My boss even came to the hospital once I was in my own room to show me support. While you may have one or two people make stupid comments, what you really find out is how many people truly support you. It really helped build confidence in my decision.

I told my mom and a few close family friends. They are supportive. However, when I told my boss she was 100% against it. This is making it a little more difficult to get the time off I need. My date is December 30 th 2016. I don't care that she is against it. This is something I need to do to get healthy. Think about what you need to get healthy and if this is it go for it

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I have a couple of friends that know. Other than that....No One! I have a brother but we are not close at all. My parents?...let's not go there...at all.

Up until two weeks ago, I worked at a job where everyone was in everybody's business.They knew because of all the Drs appts I was going to. When I refused to discuss the particulars, I got frozen out. Then I got fired. Personally I think it had something to do with it because the reasons for canning me were pretty flimsy. There's a corporate complaint in there too. Plus their COBRA will be paying for this, so there! (my own little revenge, probably meaningless but it amuses me.)

I do find it a depressing that I will be going to the hospital alone and arranging for a ride back home (I live about 55 miles from where my doc is) On the other hand, no family support is better than toxic family support. This was a big enough decision to begin with, i don't need crap from them too.

I have a couple of friends that know. Other than that....No One! I have a brother but we are not close at all. My parents?...let's not go there...at all.

Up until two weeks ago, I worked at a job where everyone was in everybody's business.They knew because of all the Drs appts I was going to. When I refused to discuss the particulars, I got frozen out. Then I got fired. Personally I think it had something to do with it because the reasons for canning me were pretty flimsy. There's a corporate complaint in there too. Plus their COBRA will be paying for this, so there! (my own little revenge, probably meaningless but it amuses me.)

I do find it a depressing that I will be going to the hospital alone and arranging for a ride back home (I live about 55 miles from where my doc is) On the other hand, no family support is better than toxic family support. This was a big enough decision to begin with, i don't need crap from them too.

Dang!! Where do you live? Maybe someone here is close enough to you to offer some support.

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Lakeland, Florida, going to St. Petersburg....and back

I've told everyone who has asked and then some. I went completely public with my odyssey to lose weight.