Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

When do you delete your online dating profile?



Recommended Posts

Competition is something I do at work.....its part of the culture there.

I'm glad as hell I am not having to compete in my off time.

Sounds too much like those stupid bachelor or bachelorette shows.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@SleeveSoon

If you are really looking for a serious long term thing. Don't focus all your attention on one person, date several people and make them compete for your time. That makes it easier to weed people out and you don't end up dating one person for 90 days only to realize they are a complete waste of time. I think a month is too soon to zero in on one person. Dating is a numbers game.

I once went on a date with someone who we seemed to have a chemistry that clicked very well. At the end of dinner, she told me that she is "deciding between me and another guy".

I thanked her for a nice evening and told her I didn't realize I was in a contest. I mentioned I would have originally wanted to see her again, drove her home and then wished her happiness with whoever she selects.

If someone (IMHO) is someone you seem to connect with then you should not keep drawing cards from the deck; I am sure whoever you meet that seems to be "the one" you would like to get to know better and date, to not date other people too to see if they can find someone better than you. Karma is a funny thing.

It's ridiculous she said this to you on a first date. Who decides to date someone after 1 date? You did the right thing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If someone told me, they were dating someone other than me regardless of what date number it was, i'd be outta there! Now, don't get me wrong I'm not saying don't date more than 1 person at a time, but heck don't tell them about it. How rude.

You inspired me @@SleeveSoon I deleted Tinder this morning

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You inspired me @@SleeveSoon I deleted Tinder this morning

Glad to hear about this. I have no reservations about deleting my POF profile. Just got back from spending a Friday night with "teacher" and couldn't be happier. We are both older (over 50) and things have been going really well. Making plans for Saturday night.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMFG the guy that I've been seeing for a month now where nothing has been made offical, other than the fact that it's exclusive was on freaking Tinder last night when I was at his house!

Now I'm all kinds of confused, I really like him and now I don't know if it's mutual or not

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And this was after I asked him to come to a wedding with me on Saturday and he said yes!! What do I do??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And this was after I asked him to come to a wedding with me on Saturday and he said yes!! What do I do??

Maybe he was on it to delete his profile? If not, I'd just ask him about it directly and if he's still looking on the side, go to the wedding 'stag'. Ppl willing to look for something better while dating you and not worth your time. Just my opinion.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And this was after I asked him to come to a wedding with me on Saturday and he said yes!! What do I do??

Don't freak out. You've only been seeing him for a month - it will not be good to confront him about this from an accusatory stance. Ask him casually if he's dating anyone else and see what he says. Even if he is - again it's only been a month - give the relationship time to grow. If you expect him to only date you (which I completely understand) then ask him if he's willing to do that. If not - decide if you can handle that for the time being. He may not realize you want to be exclusive. You have to talk to him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this!

We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not a juggler dating type. I date, find out if I would like to keep dating and continue to date that person. If I dont give my full attention to that person, I will never fully know if they were a match for me. I know pretty fast if they are my type. But luckily I found someone and no longer need to date. Hated dating. And I would run for the hills if someone expected me to chase them. Lol no. Playing games was fun, playing games with peoples hearts is just egotistical, emotionally scummy and childs play. I dont want to deal with a child in my adult relationship.

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is tough. "The grass is always greener" problem can really hinder trying to make a deeper connection. You can hit a pause button by hiding your profile. I have only deleted my profile twice and let the person I was dating know I did it, and strangely enough we both had done it about the same time. I usually accept that as a VERY good sign. It does take two to tango.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dunno. sometimes you're not sure if this is the person you want to focus on, sometimes you do know right away. My husband and I met online, but not in a dating site - this was the dark ages before electricity, lol. we were friends for about 6 months because I was DEAD SET against ever getting involved with a man again - no boyfriend, no dating, no remarriage. and he slowly won my trust and I agreed to meet in person. we knew that week that we never wanted to be away from each other again. and a few months shy of 20 years later we feel all that and more. The man knows what he wants and he makes very sure every day that I know that forever with me is what he wants.

so if you're not sure, then keep the profiles and look around. if you want to focus on her to see if she is the one, hide them so they aren't distracting you - and if you know she is who you want to pursue then delete them and pursue her and see where it goes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ughhh. I could use dating advice too. And I don't belong giving any dating advice, so I can't help you lol. Sorry to hijack your post, but I'd love some input on my situation! I've been on 4 dates with a nice guy that I'm not really attracted to - met on match. Why? Well, my ex was smoking hot, with a burning temper. The attraction couldn't have been more, we loved each other, but he had anger and control issues (like I'm walking on egg shells to make sure he doesn't erupt...and no one I know - friends, my parents - are ever allowed over)... So, I moved out 4 months ago, saw a therapist 3 times to figure out why I basically had Stockholm syndrome, got sleeved, lost 30 lbs, and got back out there about 3 weeks ago. Back to online dating: I can't date more than one person at a time. Is that weird? Just feels wrong. Anyway, this guy couldn't be nicer, is okay looking, treats me wonderfully, and there aren't any red flags. My question to everyone: were you head over heels attracted to your significant other? Or did love come later? I've always been the former, and it never seems to work out (mostly bc I'm attracted to controlling types). Do you think there's a chance I'll never REALLY be attracted to anyone who is actually healthy for me?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is tough. "The grass is always greener" problem can really hinder trying to make a deeper connection. You can hit a pause button by hiding your profile. I have only deleted my profile twice and let the person I was dating know I did it, and strangely enough we both had done it about the same time. I usually accept that as a VERY good sign. It does take two to tango.

I ended up hiding my profile on POF instead of deleting it. The first several weeks we were dating things were going very well. She was on Summer break (from teaching), I was fully retired, and we did a lot of fun things. Now school is back in session, I have taken on a part time job, and her daughter who lives several hours away is getting married in October. I am still hopeful that things will work out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×