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NEW RELATIONSHIP AFTER SLEEVE SURGERY

Nikki Monroe

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Nikki Monroe    71

Nikki Monroe
Posted

I'm curious....at what point did you tell your girlfriend/boyfriend about your weight loss surgery? What was their reaction good and bad? Why did you tell them when you did?

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OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

@@Nikki Monroe

I am not dating anyone now. When I was about 3 months I started dating. I didn't tell the guy I dated for a while and he never asked me questions even though my eating small amounts when we went out annoyed him (because he was cheap).

So now at a year out, I can eat enough that no one would question if I had surgery. I just seem like a picky eater, because I am a picky eater and I always have been. Or I seem like just someone with a small appetite or something that would really please my Grandmother, I eat like a lady. There is no reason to tell about my surgery because I have basically perfect health and no specialty nutritional needs beyond anyone else that is health conscious.

So if I met someone and was dating them seriously, I wouldn't feel the need to tell them unless we were getting married. The only people that need to know about my health is the person that is my emergency contact and empowered to make medical decision for me, and right now that is my best friend and it will stay that way unless I meet Mr Right.

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Nikki Monroe    71

Nikki Monroe
Posted

@@Nikki Monroe

I am not dating anyone now. When I was about 3 months I started dating. I didn't tell the guy I dated for a while and he never asked me questions even though my eating small amounts when we went out annoyed him (because he was cheap).

So now at a year out, I can eat enough that no one would question if I had surgery. I just seem like a picky eater, because I am a picky eater and I always have been. Or I seem like just someone with a small appetite or something that would really please my Grandmother, I eat like a lady. There is no reason to tell about my surgery because I have basically perfect health and no specialty nutritional needs beyond anyone else that is health conscious.

So if I met someone and was dating them seriously, I wouldn't feel the need to tell them unless we were getting married. The only people that need to know about my health is the person that is my emergency contact and empowered to make medical decision for me, and right now that is my best friend and it will stay that way unless I meet Mr Right.

I definitely understand and respect that. The guy I am dating now notices my small appetite. I always give him half of what I am eating or he notices I don't always finish my food. He made the comment the other day about being "concerned" that I wasn't eating enough food. I told him I was but that I just eat a little more often. Makes me feel like that conversation may have to happen sooner than I anticipated.

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Sophie74656    1,572

Sophie74656
Posted

I am slowly entering the dating world. My plan is that if after a few dates I see the possibility of something long term then i will tell them. I feel this is something they will need to know if we are to be in a long term relationship.

I anticipate some questions but since a lot of things revolve around food i woukd defiantly want them to know. Ideally I woukd love to meet someone who was also sleeved.

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OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

@@Nikki Monroe

I am not dating anyone now. When I was about 3 months I started dating. I didn't tell the guy I dated for a while and he never asked me questions even though my eating small amounts when we went out annoyed him (because he was cheap).

So now at a year out, I can eat enough that no one would question if I had surgery. I just seem like a picky eater, because I am a picky eater and I always have been. Or I seem like just someone with a small appetite or something that would really please my Grandmother, I eat like a lady. There is no reason to tell about my surgery because I have basically perfect health and no specialty nutritional needs beyond anyone else that is health conscious.

So if I met someone and was dating them seriously, I wouldn't feel the need to tell them unless we were getting married. The only people that need to know about my health is the person that is my emergency contact and empowered to make medical decision for me, and right now that is my best friend and it will stay that way unless I meet Mr Right.

I definitely understand and respect that. The guy I am dating now notices my small appetite. I always give him half of what I am eating or he notices I don't always finish my food. He made the comment the other day about being "concerned" that I wasn't eating enough food. I told him I was but that I just eat a little more often. Makes me feel like that conversation may have to happen sooner than I anticipated.

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How much time do you spend with him? Like have you spent a whole day or a weekend with him?

A lot of people think I don't eat much until they spend a day with me and I eat all damn day. :D I eat every 2-3 hours. When people see that, they don't comment anymore, because you are eating more often than they are.

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Nikki Monroe    71

Nikki Monroe
Posted

Thank you everyone one for your opinions and the financial tips! LOL! They are respected and appreciated. I did tell the guy I was dating and now in a serious relationship in last night. I decided to wait until we were official and I told him even sooner because now I have to have my gallbladder removed and he wants to be there with me. I didn't want him finding out in the hospital about my sleeve and being shocked and confused. He was BEYOND very supportive and said that it didn't changed how he felt or viewed me at all. All he wanted to know is why did I make the decision to have the surgery and once I gave him my reason, he was fine with it and understood. I asked him if he had any questions related to the actual surgery and he said he didn't need to know. He just needed me to know that he is still here with me and not going anywhere. I'm glad I told him and it took a huge weight off of my shoulders. You never know how people will react or if they will say something that will turn you off and ultimately end things but it was perfect for me!

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Go To Topic Listing Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
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      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
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