I'll try to be brief....I just need to vent

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I'm always amazed when people say it costs too much to eat healthy. I've saved a lot on my grocery bill by not buying soda, chips, beer and packaged Cookies. If you buy produce in season and look for the sale items, it's a lot less than processed foods. Also, I cook most of my own meals so I save a lot by not eating in restaurants. The expense of healthy foods is always an interesting excuse.

I agree. It costs more to eat healthy if you are still buying junk, too.

I am saving money just on breaking the Diet Coke habit alone.

[Babbs 14,680]

Just like with each of us, she won't do it until she's darn good and ready. Sad but true.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@her1981, you were ready. Your sister-in-law isn't.

[Amurillo04 109]

Some people say that I'm young and don't weigh enough to get the surgery but I'm doing it now to avoid ever being at that place and it's good that you did so too.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[freelee 128]

When she wears you down, just keep coming back to this site, and know there are so many people here to support you and your great efforts. It's nice that you are there trying to help her with your example and support. We are here for you, too.

[Thinny 30]

I too have some people in my life like this. But I try to keep in mind that's it's their body like this is mine. I don't promote the surgery. I let myself be overweight too forever and I didn't want it because of loose skin. I came to the decision in my own time. And I'm quick to remind people asking me about how to lose weight that I'm no expert. I spent years doing all kinds of dieting. I just say that I found something that works for me! That's what everyone needs to do.

And when folks start talking about all the 'loose skin' and whatever downsides they can think of...I quickly get on the subject of my now size 10 clothes, bikini and any NSV. Things they certainly can't relate too. It just evens the odds a bit, ya know.

(and @her1981...really! she's there taking your old 'fat' clothes and trying to naysay at the same time. You know you feel good about yourself when you don't just go off on people like that. 155lbs gone! you rock!)

[gowalking 10,790]

A couple weeks ago, my sister in law was at my house going through my old clothes to see what she could fit and was saying how great I looked. I told her how great the sleeve has been for my health and really my overall happiness. She goes on to say, well idk about getting the sleeve because I don't want all that loose skin.... I'm thinking ok, you'd prefer to walk around with all the fat-filled skin???? And for the record, other than my arms, I look pretty good. Then she goes on to talk about all the stuff she doesn't wanna give up.

Keep in mind, she's about 5'3 and 380 pounds. I'm pretty sure she has sleep apnea. She falls asleep at the drop of a dime and is tired from doing virtually nothing. You can hear her breathing when she's just sitting or standing still. She's bottom heavy and her legs are like tree trunks. The don't appear to bend.

Anyway, she got into a car accident and couldn't fit in the machine for the mri. She called me talking about how mortified she was, and asked me to help her lose weight. So we talked about eating right and what she can do to get started, but she has not made a single effort to improve her eating habits - talking about how "expensive" it is to eat healthy. I went to see her yesterday and she had just eaten an entire bag of chips and then ate a Chipotle bowl and then fell asleep within 10 minutes of eating it. I just sat there in awe.... So after she was asleep for about 30 minutes, I just left.

I shutter to think that was me a year ago. I wonder if I was ever "that bad". I probably was. It was so hard to watch. I'm glad I made the choice to get sleeved.

Kudos to you for not calling her out on any of this. As others have said, she just isn't ready yet. We've all been mortified over something regarding our size and yet, not all of us had that aha moment at that time. If/when she's ready, be there for her.

My beloved sister..my best friend...is morbidly obese as I had been. I desperately want her to be healthy. She is a heart attack waiting to happen and I'm saddened beyond belief to think that I might not grow old with her. I say nothing as she eats herself silly. Calling her out will only make her avoid me and I can't have that. So I wait patiently hoping that she changes things up before I have to bury her. We need to be compassionate...and not judgmental as many of us have 'been there, got the tee shirt'.

[needtorecover 574]

I used to be worried about losing my ability to overeat. It felt so good to come home on a Friday night and eat 3/4 of a stuffed crust pizza, drink 3-4 beers and have 2 or 3 brownies for dessert. I thought I'd miss it and spent some time mourning my ability to inhale food. Turns out, I don't miss it nearly as much as I expected! It feels much different after WLS. If only we could show people that.

It's really hard to see loved ones continue the self-destructive habits we used to have. I have a friend who does that thing where she breathes hard just by standing up from a seated position. It's really sad.

The whole excuse of "eating healthy is expensive" is absolutely not true! I've saved a lot of money on groceries and eating out simply because I CANNOT eat as much as I could've before.

Maybe she'll change her mind in the future when she reaches her breaking point. All you can do is serve as a good example!

[her1981 448]

Thanks all for the encouragement. I'll continue to encourage her as well.