Feeling pretty overwhelmed

[KM16 8]

I've struggled with my weight for most if my life. I always kinda thought having something like weight loss surgery would mean taking the easy way out. It also scares me when I see people who have had the surgery and they seem to completely change; I don't want to be that person. Ive also seen people who have the surgery end up looking like the walking dead after, not only through their appearance, but they literally are sick all the time and have numerous complications.

I've tried to diet, though honesltly, probably not as seriously as I could, for years. I have an under active thyroid, as well as PCOS, both of which make it extremely difficult for me to lose weight. I know im not the most active that I could be, but I'm not lazy by any means. Likewise with my eating habits, I don't eat as well as I could, but I definitely don't have the worst eating habits. I am certainly an emotional eater at times..

My question is how do you even know this is right for you? As I sit here staring down the face of my 30th birthday next month, I can't help but wonder if this is something I need to do. I don't want to sit here another decade and kid myself into thinking I can do this on my own, worrying that the older I get, knowing the damage I've done to my body will most definitely catch up to me eventually...but at the same time I feel like I should try harder to do it on my own, even though in the back of my mind I am fairly certain I won't be able to.

I'm just very conflicted and overwhelmed with where I would even begin, should I decide this is something I may want to do.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

KM-

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

How do you know if it is for you? Ask questions and do your research.

Make a list.

List what benefits there are to not having surgery.

List what benefits there are to having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risks of not having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risk of having surgery.

List what your life is like now.

List what you want your life to be like.

Compare those lists.

[krr343 38]

You sound a lot like me. I also have PCOS and I will be turning 30 next month. The reality is we all could probably diet and exercise in order to lose the weight but the chances of us keeping it off are low and with PCOS the weight loss is slow and even harder to maintain. For me, my motivation to choose surgery is my children. I realize that the excess weight is unhealthy and I want to be around for a long time for them. Also, I want to have more children and at this weight it would be difficult to conceive. You have to make the decision on what is right for you but I have read lots of posts on here and no one seems to regret their decision to have surgery.

[CortneyReed18 1]

These are exactly my thoughts! I'm a fellow PCOS sufferer as well, and trying to decide if this is the right choice for me. I'll be following your post for responses. Good luck to you!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[KM16 8]

How do you know if it is for you? Ask questions and do your research.

Make a list.

List what benefits there are to not having surgery.

List what benefits there are to having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risks of not having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risk of having surgery.

List what your life is like now.

List what you want your life to be like.

Compare those lists.

Thank you, I'm doing research now..there are so many different procedures..its all very confusing and scary if I'm being honest, not to mention seems like its just as hard as just dieting and trying to lose it myself! Thanks again!

[poppa bear 2]

I'm feeling the same way. however I am a 58 year old man with a wonderful supportive wife and two sons 24 and 21. I have waited too long having tried several diets and need to make a permanent change. My goal is to be around when my grand children are here and can be a part of their lives. It is still scary to think that they will be removing a part of my stomach FOREVER. Deep down I can see l the positives But...

thanks!

[KM16 8]

You sound a lot like me. I also have PCOS and I will be turning 30 next month. The reality is we all could probably diet and exercise in order to lose the weight but the chances of us keeping it off are low and with PCOS the weight loss is slow and even harder to maintain. For me, my motivation to choose surgery is my children. I realize that the excess weight is unhealthy and I want to be around for a long time for them. Also, I want to have more children and at this weight it would be difficult to conceive. You have to make the decision on what is right for you but I have read lots of posts on here and no one seems to regret their decision to have surgery.

A fellow Leo, well happy early birthday. The 7th is lurking over me like a ton of bricks! Thanks for your response, you're right, I need to do this, I really do, its just super scary and overwhelming. You're blessed to have children; I haven't been able to conceive and the mixture if my weight and the fact that in not getting any younger make this decision that much more important.

[KM16 8]

These are exactly my thoughts! I'm a fellow PCOS sufferer as well, and trying to decide if this is the right choice for me. I'll be following your post for responses. Good luck to you!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I'm glad I'm not alone in these thoughts! I struggle with thinking I'm kidding myself in thinking this is going to be a quick fix and not completely understanding this is quite the opposite. I hope you find answers and are able to figure out for yourself if this is right for you!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@KM16

I cut out sugar, soda, alcohol, and was fairly decent at low carbing (I had Portion Control issues) and I still wasn't losing weight. I did this for 3 years before surgery. That told me that surgery was my only option since I had cut out all the things people said to stop doing and I still wasn't losing.

I think if you aren't a miserable fat person, you don't really change a lot. The people that hated themselves and were really miserable fat with low self esteem and low self worth. They change a lot and not always for the best. Many seem to over correct and swing the other way too hard.

I'm basically the same and at one year out my life is not really that different. I enjoy food. I enjoy eating out. I eat proper portion sizes. I enjoy the quality and presentation of food, not just having massive amounts of it. I was always a picky eater and now I am even pickier. When you eat small amounts it better be delicious.

If you have a good handle on yourself pre-op, you will have an easier time post-op.

[KM16 8]

I'm feeling the same way. however I am a 58 year old man with a wonderful supportive wife and two sons 24 and 21. I have waited too long having tried several diets and need to make a permanent change. My goal is to be around when my grand children are here and can be a part of their lives. It is still scary to think that they will be removing a part of my stomach FOREVER. Deep down I can see l the positives But...

thanks!

Oh my goodness, just reading all the different responses and walks of life people are on, yet being able to connect on this one scary, yet undeniably life changing decision is powerful. I see so many peoples posts who are post op and so happy with the decision and progress, it just seems so far out of reach and scary.

I hope you're able to make the right decision for yourself and should you find yourself on this path that it goes well. You certainly need to be happy and healthy for those little ones.

Good luck!

[bini120 163]

How do you know if it is for you? Ask questions and do your research.

Make a list.

List what benefits there are to not having surgery.

List what benefits there are to having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risks of not having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risk of having surgery.

List what your life is like now.

List what you want your life to be like.

Compare those lists.

Totally agree with this advice.

Some more questions you should ask yourself:

- How long have you been struggling with the weight?

- How many times have you tried to lose it?

- Have you previously had success with a diet/exercise/lifestyle change that you think will give you the results you want if you put your mind to it?

- What is keeping you from making lifestyle changes to getting healthier (no judgment! this is just a point worth being honest with yourself about)

Personally, I never thought I'd have WLS. I don't know anyone who's had it and always thought it was for 'other people'. I spent 10 years going on and off diets and exercise programs while the result was my actually getting heavier every single year. WLS sounded really drastic and at 34 years old and 244lbs, I thought I was just the right diet away from losing the weight and keeping it off. Finally earlier this year, I decided to stop kidding myself and take the step. I'm only 2+ weeks out but truly feel it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

(Apologies if this sounds like I'm advocating for WLS (well, I am, but only based on my own personal experience). Ultimately it's about you being honest with yourself and exploring other options before you decide to go down this road.

[KM16 8]

@@KM16

I cut out sugar, soda, alcohol, and was fairly decent at low carbing (I had Portion Control issues) and I still wasn't losing weight. I did this for 3 years before surgery. That told me that surgery was my only option since I had cut out all the things people said to stop doing and I still wasn't losing.

I think if you aren't a miserable fat person, you don't really change a lot. The people that hated themselves and were really miserable fat with low self esteem and low self worth. They change a lot and not always for the best. Many seem to over correct and swing the other way too hard.

I'm basically the same and at one year out my life is not really that different. I enjoy food. I enjoy eating out. I eat proper portion sizes. I enjoy the quality and presentation of food, not just having massive amounts of it. I was always a picky eater and now I am even pickier. When you eat small amounts it better be delicious.

If you have a good handle on yourself pre-op, you will have an easier time post-op.

I have a tendency to go on a diet and become obsessed with it. I'm good with yo-yo diets and become extreme with it and I know that's not healthy. The fact of the matter is I need a lifestyle change and I know that, its just difficult. I don't really over eat, but I do snack a lot and my downfall is carbs...I love Pasta and bread. My emotional eating is another big problem for me, I eat when im happy, sad, bored...you name it.

I definitely have my share of self esteem issues, but I'm not an unhappy fat person, I just want to lose weight and be more healthy and confidant. I want to live long and prosperous, but the thought of giving up cupcakes is a lot for me to take in right now. Just kidding! I need to do this for myself.

Thanks you! I hope your journey continues to go well.

[KM16 8]

How do you know if it is for you? Ask questions and do your research.

Make a list.

List what benefits there are to not having surgery.

List what benefits there are to having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risks of not having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risk of having surgery.

List what your life is like now.

List what you want your life to be like.

Compare those lists.

Totally agree with this advice.

Some more questions you should ask yourself:

- How long have you been struggling with the weight?

- How many times have you tried to lose it?

- Have you previously had success with a diet/exercise/lifestyle change that you think will give you the results you want if you put your mind to it?

- What is keeping you from making lifestyle changes to getting healthier (no judgment! this is just a point worth being honest with yourself about)

Personally, I never thought I'd have WLS. I don't know anyone who's had it and always thought it was for 'other people'. I spent 10 years going on and off diets and exercise programs while the result was my actually getting heavier every single year. WLS sounded really drastic and at 34 years old and 244lbs, I thought I was just the right diet away from losing the weight and keeping it off. Finally earlier this year, I decided to stop kidding myself and take the step. I'm only 2+ weeks out but truly feel it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

(Apologies if this sounds like I'm advocating for WLS (well, I am, but only based on my own personal experience). Ultimately it's about you being honest with yourself and exploring other options before you decide to go down this road.

I appreciate your response! These are all very good questions that im currently asking myself. I've got a little journal going and everything. Its been difficult for me to be completely honest with myself. I'm my own worst critic. I have tried to diet and lose weight so many times but I have no discipline. I get obsessed with it for no longer than a week or two, then i end up binge eating and feel like my progress has been sabotaged.

I also get frustrated because I know I have medical conditions that aren't on my side when it comes to weight loss. Its a lifestyle change that I just can't seem to grasp. For 30 years food has been a major part of my life; when I'm happy, sad, bored, anxious...I've always eaten. I know this weight didn't creep up over night and I know I won't be able to lose it overnight, so I worry that in my mind I think that's what surgery will do, be my fix all...I'm just scared to take the leap of faith I guess.

Everyone has been so kind and insightful.

Congrats on your progress; I hope your journey continues pleasantly for you! Thanks again.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@KM16

I would suggest seeing a therapist and working out your emotional eating before even thinking about surgery. If you are still an emotional eater and you have surgery, nothing will change. Surgery won't change that for you and it will possibly just make it worse for you. You have to work out your emotional stuff before surgery for the best outcome.

[becomingmandikaye 262]

It helped me a lot to read other people's experiences, so in case it may be helpful for you... here's a blog post I wrote and a video about why I made this decision.

http://becomingmandikaye.com/2016/05/26/changing-my-life/

Good luck to you!