Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🌈 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins

Relationship Issues

jescoto86

Recommended Posts

jescoto86    5

jescoto86
Posted

Hi everyone. I had my surgery in Feb and I'm loving the way I look. I'm very confident.. Maybe too confident. I've been with my gf for 2 years, but my eyes have started wandering. I don't want to cheat and I really love her, but it's hard to turn away the attention I'm getting. I've never had it before. There is a girl specifically I can't turn away from. She's the cutest thing, and way out of my league. I've never had such an opportunity. Has anyone else had this issue or similar? Of course, my gf is now super jealous because she sees the attention I get when we go out. I added a picture just to show the difference it's made this far. post-265006-14677817603726_thumb.jpg

Sent from my D6708 using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

jessjames    234

jessjames
Posted

Firstly, you look great.. But secondly, remember who's been there when you were bigger and loved you regardless. Remember who helped you through surgery and recovery.. And has put up with this process and held your hand every step of the way. New attention is good, but remember who was there and what that means.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Mrs. Hayes reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Cervidae    2,389

Cervidae
Posted

I totally understand new confidence and an absolute love of the new attention. Here are my thoughts about this situation:

- if you're this close to straying, maybe your current girlfriend is not the best match for you.

- would this new girl you like have been interested in you however many pounds ago? Would she have given you a second look before? Is that something that would bother you?

- the attention you're getting now is utterly superficial. the attention your girlfriend gave(gives) you is not.

the bottom line is that if you are able to seriously lust after someone who is not your so and are even contemplating leaving her for greener pastures, you're really not doing you or her any favors by continuing this way. You're just limiting yourself and you're making her watch as you slowly slip away from her, who loved you before you dropped weight, to other people who are only interested in you now that you're more conventionally attractive.

Good luck to you. These are the issues no doctor ever mentions, and no one can really help us with after major weight loss. We have to recreate entire new self-images and identities. Just make sure you're keeping a little perspective while that's happening.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go To Topic Listing Gastric Bypass Surgery Forums

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Aunty Mamo

      Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    Bariatric Forums

    For Patients

    Health Professionals

    Search Surgeons

    Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

    ×