Unsupportive family

[CamJ83 25]

My daughter isn't supportive at all, and it's worse because we share a place to live.

She keeps going on about anything negative that might happen as a result, and I'm not having it. I've had surgery of one sort or another more than a few times already, so I know I have little chance of a bad reaction to anesthesia.

She knows the crap I've been going through to get this approved. I've not left her out of that loop, because I think she needs to know what's going on, but I know she doesn't like hearing at all about it.

I hope that once your wife has her surgery, she's more supportive.

Sumaire, maybe she's scared and unable to closet her concern. Have you tried talking to her about this?

I'm sorry that some of you aren't getting the support you deserve...thank goodness there are forums and groups because this can't be done without some sort of support.

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[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

I am sorry you are going through this.

Can you sit down and have an open discussion on how you love them and are counting on them to support you through your weight loss journey? Then describe the behaviors and remarks that are making it more challenging for you right now.

If all else fails, paybacks are a B****. Remember their lack of support when they need something like using the family car (if they are old enough), need a few dollars to go to the movies, be driven somewhere, etc..

[Sumaire 75]

My daughter isn't supportive at all, and it's worse because we share a place to live.

She keeps going on about anything negative that might happen as a result, and I'm not having it. I've had surgery of one sort or another more than a few times already, so I know I have little chance of a bad reaction to anesthesia.

She knows the crap I've been going through to get this approved. I've not left her out of that loop, because I think she needs to know what's going on, but I know she doesn't like hearing at all about it.

I hope that once your wife has her surgery, she's more supportive.

Sumaire, maybe she's scared and unable to closet her concern. Have you tried talking to her about this?

I'm sorry that some of you aren't getting the support you deserve...thank goodness there are forums and groups because this can't be done without some sort of support.

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

I've tried discussing it with her multiple times, but she refuses to listen.

At this point, I've reminded her that at the same time, my hernia (which was discovered during my GI series) will be repaired, and that will reduce my blood sugar to non pre diabetic levels (where they are now) and reduce, if not eliminate my GERD.

Also, not having to carry around the equivalent of four 40 pound bags of dog food on my body all the time will help my knees to stop degenerating quite so quickly.

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@gary5862

your kids might be young but they shouldn't be commenting and talking to you like that. They are just mirroring your wife, and long term it is only going to get worse. You need to make sure they respect you as an adult and a parent. My Dad was a Marine and would have never commented anything remotely like that to him ever.

I hope things get better for you at home. And people don't have to change their eating habits, even though they should. McDonalds isn't healthy for anyone. They can at least be respectful.

[CamJ83 25]

My daughter isn't supportive at all, and it's worse because we share a place to live.

She keeps going on about anything negative that might happen as a result, and I'm not having it. I've had surgery of one sort or another more than a few times already, so I know I have little chance of a bad reaction to anesthesia.

She knows the crap I've been going through to get this approved. I've not left her out of that loop, because I think she needs to know what's going on, but I know she doesn't like hearing at all about it.

I hope that once your wife has her surgery, she's more supportive.

Sumaire, maybe she's scared and unable to closet her concern. Have you tried talking to her about this?

I'm sorry that some of you aren't getting the support you deserve...thank goodness there are forums and groups because this can't be done without some sort of support.

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

I've tried discussing it with her multiple times, but she refuses to listen.

At this point, I've reminded her that at the same time, my hernia (which was discovered during my GI series) will be repaired, and that will reduce my blood sugar to non pre diabetic levels (where they are now) and reduce, if not eliminate my GERD.

Also, not having to carry around the equivalent of four 40 pound bags of dog food on my body all the time will help my knees to stop degenerating quite so quickly.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Well that's all you can do. She should respect your wishes and treat you like you're not only her mother but smart, capable, logical woman. I'm sorry you have to endure that.

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[Sumaire 75]

I'll live, it's just annoying. I'm glad that I have a place here, where I can vent in relative privacy, and for that I am eternally grateful.

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[smg 471]

I've said this in previous threads, but I will reiterate it here. I have a wife and 2 teenage boys who are not in need of the surgery that I was in need of (sleeve). I asked them to support me through encouragement and positive reinforcement.

At no time did I or would I ever expect them to change their lives because of mistakes that I made. It wouldn't be fair to them to ask them to do that. Do they try to give the meals I make a chance? Sure. Does it always work out? Of course not. The bottom line is that I am the one that has to watch what I eat.

Since I make dinner most days, I try to make things that the entire family can eat or that I can modify a bit for me while still maintaining something easy for them. For instance, I'll make crockpot meatballs where I can eat a few meatballs, yet for them I can make complete meatball sandwiches. Everyone's happy. Other days I'll bake some fish and steam some veggies. If they don't like it....tough...make your own meal (they eat it...lol). I always make sure I grill or bake enough chicken to have around for Snacks so that if there are days where the wife and kids want to eat out they can and can do so knowing I have options at home if the place they choose to eat doesn't have anything that I can eat or would want to eat.

At the end of the day, you have to do this for yourself. It would be great if everyone around us would change their diets and eating habits because we had surgery, but that's not realistic and it's certainly not fair to them for us to expect it. Take care of you, seeing the changes in you will lead to positive things for everyone. Once they see those changes, they will quickly realize the positives that your diet and new lifestyle has made and fall more in-line or be more open-minded when it comes to food and/or exercise.

Additionally, if your wife is having surgery in August, it's probably not the best idea to be going through McDonalds in June, but that's just my personal opinion. I'm a little over 60 days post-op and I've lost 75 lbs so far and I truly believe that part of my success so far was because I did my best to prepare and get into a healthy diet PRE-OP.

At the end of the day, place your energy in the one person you can control the success of......YOU!

Best of luck!

[UalreadyKnow 843]

Everything @@smg said!!! Perfectly stated and exactly what I do with my family!! Good luck, BTW in the future if you ever "need" to eat at McDonald's (I understand it happens) you can ask them for a plain grilled chicken breast with cheese. I really enjoy it, most McDonald's cater to your specific needs.

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[Dr-Patient 830]

You can't control her; only you. Stay focused on you and your journey.

Maybe she's trying to get in all her 'bad' foods before her surgery, but again, that's her. Not you.

Center your spirit on you.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@gary5862 - for anyone who doesn't get what you are saying, imagine Gary quit smoking and his significant other continued to puff around him. Or he liked to drink, has a liver problem and has to quit, but SO keeps imbibing around him. I'm not saying that everyone in the world should bend over because we have a problem, but the SO's should be mindful.

NOTE: I have quit smoking while a SO continued to smoke. It sucked. Especially when I got my sense of taste back, and could really taste it when we kissed. ICK.

Hang in there, August is coming. Nothing like a reformed prostitute, former smoker, or a WLS person.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I agree 100% with @@OKCPirate .

Also, the early days post-op are when we most appreciate support.

[gary5862 208]

@@gary5862 - for anyone who doesn't get what you are saying, imagine Gary quit smoking and his significant other continued to puff around him. Or he liked to drink, has a liver problem and has to quit, but SO keeps imbibing around him. I'm not saying that everyone in the world should bend over because we have a problem, but the SO's should be mindful.

NOTE: I have quit smoking while a SO continued to smoke. It sucked. Especially when I got my sense of taste back, and could really taste it when we kissed. ICK.

Hang in there, August is coming. Nothing like a reformed prostitute, former smoker, or a WLS person.

Exactly.

[pattycarlson09@live.com 18]

Drink your Protein Shakes and don't get too hungry! Her time is coming!

[pattycarlson09@live.com 18]

My family eats all the junk and it hurts but I usually leave the room especially pizza! I just suck on my Protein Drink, three weeks post op