So after telling me that she received my FMLA info from Personnel she leaned down and whispered "what are you having surgery for?" I paused then said, "Im sorry I don't want to give that info" Even when I initially told her that I was having surgery, I specifically asked her to not give that info out.

I felt SO weird saying that because I did want to tell her but I couldn't.. WHY? because she is friends with another girl in our office Im having issues with. I avoid drama with this girl at all cost, so even though I feel I have a good relationship with my sup, I watch the things that I tell her about my personal life. Why do I feel so bad though!!!

No one else my office knows except a close friend whom I trust a little more.

I should also mention that she is 6-7 yrs younger than me and we both have 2 boys so we talk a lot but this is one thing that I am not being open about.

Edited June 7, 201610 yr by reachbree

Sorry -- the ACA (Affordable Care Act) doesn't apply here either!

In any event it's inappropriate if asked in an official sense, and she didn't push the point so there isn't much to complain about. Better if it comes up again since she's a newly minted supervisor and also a friend to say "you know, as a supervisor you can get in trouble with HR asking about this sort of thing -- we're friends but don't let someone else file a complaint because you made this mistake".

You can just say gallbladder surgery

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It sounds like you handled it fine.

Just tell her you prefer to keep your healthcare decisions private and thank her for her concern.

You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know. Benjamin Franklin said,

"To whom thy secrets thou doest tell, to him thy freedom thou doest sell."

That is not her business.

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This is a very sensitive thing. I did not tell anyone except my husband what was going on. I lied a little bit to my boss I told him I was having surgery to remove scar tissue from my stomach which the doctor actually did take care of while in there. I had colon cancer about 12 years ago and have had some trouble with scar tissue so it wasnt an all out lie but not the main reason for surgery. I just didnt want to hear that I was taking the easy way out. we all know this is not easy. I had internal bleeding and almost died from this surgery and had two blood transfusions. I did throw up for about 8 weeks after the surgery and I hinted that I was losing weight because I was sick from the surgery. It really is no ones business but your own. I agree with everyone that was very unprofessional. but sounds like she is young. but if she is in that position she should not pry like that. good luck sweetie.

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.

She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

I had to file paperwork with the principal at my school so I could have the time off and get subs scheduled. I have enough sick days, just had to get the principal to sign off. He did so without question, until I was almost out of the office, the quietly said, "Um... is everything OK?" I just said, "Oh, yes, nothing serious." He looked relieved and said, "OK, good," and he let it go at that. I am 99.9% sure he asked because he is a genuinely nice guy who is concerned about his faculty.

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.

She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

Why not file FMLA. It is for your protection. If you have complications or other health issues it is designed to protect your job. That is not something I would want to risk.

She shouldn't have asked. Hopefully she doesn't push the issue later if she does you could tell her what someone else said about HR.

It's hard especially if you had confided in her in the past when talking about your kids which is why you felt bad.

However, dont feel bad as it is none of her business.

LS

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.

She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

Why not file FMLA. It is for your protection. If you have complications or other health issues it is designed to protect your job. That is not something I would want to risk.

I have enough job security to know that even with complications, I'd still have a job. I'm very lucky to have the job that I have, and the boss that I have.

Legally you don't know have to tell them that. At least in New York under the HIPA law . And employer doesn't need to know what exactly you're having surgery for .

Edited June 8, 201610 yr by hazelzay

I took a 2 week vacation and started at the gym 6 wks before surgery, so when coworkers and those not in my very close very small circle ask about my wt loss i just say I've been working out.

Thanks for the suggestions guys, my husband strongly recommends that I just lie about it and say I'm having gallbladder surgery....which i've already had my gb removed...anywho I honestly don't feel right about lying lol

In response to one of the pp, I do feel like she has been trying to build a friend type relationship with me rather than just co-workers...

My supervisor also asked me what kind of surgery I was getting. It was really strange to me. I think I said that I was having surgery on my stomach - from there she could have guessed a variety of different things such as WLS or something that was more medically threatening like a tumor, but I didn't get into any other specifics. I had a long and difficult recovery (about a month and a half until I felt like I could even leave the apartment) and they knew I was having a hard time. Luckily I work from home so I was still able to work even though I was feeling pretty terrible, although I did take off the first 2.5 weeks.