Hi All! I am divorced (3 years), I was married for 28. I had VSG 3 1/2 years ago, and I am down 140 lbs. Woot! Woot! I am very happy with the results and I love my new body! BUT, I wonder, could my 'not so perfect' body be why my relationships have stalled out? No one has EVER said anything, and I would NEVER ask. But, I really do wonder. Are men (no offense guys, that is just who I am dealing with) REALLY that shallow? I can't imagine that there are that many woman, my age (I am 50 & a Mom of Twins) who have perfectly flawless bodies? With or without WLS! Maybe this ISN'T what's going on with my relationships, but, honestly, I am THIS CLOSE to starting out my profile with ... I DO NOT HAVE THE BODY OF AN 18 YEAR OLD!

Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

@@FinallyFit50s - That is a nice compliment. If you look healthy enough for a 5K. Come on before surgery would anyone have even mentioned that to you?

BTW, add a Zombie Run 5K to the list. They are fun, and actually you run faster when its a game of tag.

@@OKCPirate Pre-surgery and the only reason I can see for running would be if I was being chased by Zombies!

I had TWO dates today: #1 Went to Breakfast with Tattoo Guy. Ended up going to movies after. He is really easy to be around. The plan is for us to still go out Friday night. #2 dinner with the super fit, eat to live and not the other way around 5k guy who is in CT until September. He's from Seattle. He was a straight up TRIP and states exactly what's on his mind. We ended up sitting and talking for 2 1/2 hours at the Thai restaurant.

It was a GREAT day! I have dated more in the last month than I have in the new millennium! I even wore a racer back style sleeveless top. I've been working on not being so self-conscious about my flabby arms.

@ I should've said that there is something GREAT going on with the men in MA/CT. Or maybe I have figured something about dating out. I have one more week to have fun, then I'm deleting all my profiles as grad school activities begin on June 2nd. What a ride I've had....loving my sleeve!

@@OKCPirate Thank you.

On ‎5‎/‎22‎/‎2016 at 3:52 AM, FinallyFit50s said:

@@TammyL323 I have twins too!!! Plus one more 15 months younger.

Dating is HARD at our age, I'm 51.

Dating?? Whew I should be so lucky, just making friends is hard at our age, I'm not too far behind at 47. Platonic relationships also can be difficult as so many people at the mid point of life have unresolved issues and some carrying more baggage than a 747 bound for China. I should add the caveat that because of my job there are quite a number of people who partake of certain activities which I can't, or have backgrounds from past poor judgements that preclude me from being able to associate with them, so it is very restrictive and limiting.

I know this thread is mainly about dating but normally your odds of meeting a potential date are higher when you are out with friends...hence my speed bump of finding like-minded individuals to hang out with.

I know there is online dating but I have no faith in the "photo popularity contest" which determines if you get a match of some sort. Plus online dating seriously limits my personality when confined to just photos and small blurbs about myself. I am better able to more effectively showcase who I am with greater impact and bypass any idiosyncrasies some one may see in photo in a personal meeting.

I have experimented with meetup.com but most groups are very disorganized and many people just flat out don't show up for events. So being a stranger in a strange land after relocating with my job has been socially tough. But I am saving money from not going out so there is some consolation. Not a fan of doing things alone as the vast majority of my late 30's and early 40's was like that and I just refuse to deal with it anymore.

As @[mention=248904]MarciaN[/mention] said....."Don't settle"
I am 44 and divorced since 1998.
Only had two very short relationships since then, but that's all it took to realize I was much happier alone than in a setting that "society" led me to think I needed.
Have I sworn off relationships/dating? Not at all, but he, whomever it might be, will have to be someone amazing to get me to take notice.
If my lack of looking makes me die alone, then so be it. Being able to just plan for myself is pretty darn good. I'm kinda selfish like that, but we all deserve a little selfishness []
Point is......I'd rather die alone happy, than miserable in a relationship.

I'm right there with you,@Andrea72. Right now, I'm focused on me and my family. Dating is not a priority. And when he does come, he will have to be the one for me to notice. And I like that. I like being single.

Through this weight loss journey I'm learning about myself and dealing with the emotional part of this. It doesn't mean I won't date, but I'm done with the numbers game. I know better. Most of the people I have talked to who have successful relationships met their significant other while just living their lives. My guy is out there, and when it's time, it'll happen. I'm not in a hurry. I'm doing me.

I've been single for over 5 years and I have to say I don't miss being in a relationship. However, I could use a friend to hang up. I had to let a lot go along the way. I was so tired of pretending.

23 hours ago, russdroppings said:

Dating?? Whew I should be so lucky, just making friends is hard at our age, I'm not too far behind at 47. Platonic relationships also can be difficult as so many people at the mid point of life have unresolved issues and some carrying more baggage than a 747 bound for China. I should add the caveat that because of my job there are quite a number of people who partake of certain activities which I can't, or have backgrounds from past poor judgements that preclude me from being able to associate with them, so it is very restrictive and limiting.

I know this thread is mainly about dating but normally your odds of meeting a potential date are higher when you are out with friends...hence my speed bump of finding like-minded individuals to hang out with.

I know there is online dating but I have no faith in the "photo popularity contest" which determines if you get a match of some sort. Plus online dating seriously limits my personality when confined to just photos and small blurbs about myself. I am better able to more effectively showcase who I am with greater impact and bypass any idiosyncrasies some one may see in photo in a personal meeting.

I have experimented with meetup.com but most groups are very disorganized and many people just flat out don't show up for events. So being a stranger in a strange land after relocating with my job has been socially tough. But I am saving money from not going out so there is some consolation. Not a fan of doing things alone as the vast majority of my late 30's and early 40's was like that and I just refuse to deal with it anymore.

I think you may want to try online dating. You know you don't actually meet the people online . it really should be called online introductions. That is frankly where most singles are nowadays.

Was introduced to my husband through online dating. My tips for online dating are to not get into protracted online discussions. it was usually one or two exchanges to basically try to assess (cray cray or not) and then on to an in person meet up (the actual dating part). I found people who needed protracted exchanges electronically were usually time wasters and not serious.

Frankly I think it is a numbers game. you need to date at lot to meet someone you mutually click with.

I think you may want to try online dating. You know you don't actually meet the people online [emoji6]. it really should be called online introductions. That is frankly where most singles are nowadays.
Was introduced to my husband through online dating. My tips for online dating are to not get into protracted online discussions. it was usually one or two exchanges to basically try to assess (cray cray or not) and then on to an in person meet up (the actual dating part). I found people who needed protracted exchanges electronically were usually time wasters and not serious.
Frankly I think it is a numbers game. you need to date at lot to meet someone you mutually click with.

I did try online dating on many sites, paid and free...its a popularity contest with photos, at least that is my experience. The sad part is after trying one site for a few months I switched up to another and found the same faces with the same old tired narratives about wanting a "real man" or "mr right not mr right now" yet when I try message there are 0 replies. My narratives are concise, to the point and clear on what makes me a good catch which matches very well with what most say they want but still no replies. So my photos don't do the trick is all i can imagine or they dont dig bald guys. I can only offer so many selfies and really dont want to pay for a pro photographer. Just hasn't been a positive experience over the years so I refuse to play the "game". Don't get what I want I'll take my ball and go home [emoji12] [emoji1] I appreciate your encouragement but online dating just doesn't work. Plus the anonymity of the internet allows people to be whatever they choose to tell you, whether its true or false. Thanks again for your input[emoji4] [emoji106]

Sent from a convention where we discuss the oscillating libido of lowland gorillas.