Anyone not telling anyone about their surgery?

[165B445 188]

"Female surgery"... no one wants to talk about that...lol

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I will have trouble selling that one...

Yeah if your a male you prob would...

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I just have a very criticAl opinionate anxious family/friends... I can do w/out their added stress...

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[taramarie523 116]

Mine can be judgy too so I get it.

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[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

"Female surgery"... no one wants to talk about that...lol

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I will have trouble selling that one...

Yeah if your a male you prob would...

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Unless you were Bruce soon to become Caitlyn Jenner. Afterwards it would be a correct statement, but that wouldn't have been WLS. Actually in her case, she looks very good and never would have needed WLS.

Never mind.

[nyseness 76]

I mentioned it to my parents, sister and daughter. If I didn't need the support I probably would've kept it to myself.

[LMSWNYC 119]

Everyone's recovery is different. I was very weak and dizzy 2 weeks post op. After 4 weeks I was able to walk long distance.

As for who to tell... I told my family and only those who i have a good relationship with. Other family members found out after my surgery but by that point i did not care about my extended family's thoughts or concerns or negativity. I also told a few friends and most have been supportive. I have only told me supervisor and two other people at work. Time to focus on me and shutdown any distractions from my goals.

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[JupiterinVirgo 846]

At two weeks out, if all goes well, pain should not be a problem. What could be a genuinely serious concern is fatigue. At two weeks out, even a short necessary trip to the grocery store caused me to need a nap. Also at that time you are eating very little, and sudden drops in blood sugar blood pressure is not unusual.

[TxPatsGal 9]

Truth is, a lot of the people with so many opinions would probably have it done as well if they could afford it or if their insurance would approve them.

This is oh so true. I will fess up and say I used to think WLS was a way of cheating. Said I would never have it done because I could loose the weight myself. Ha! However, I did keep my comments to myself. Never told any of my friends how I felt.

What changed my mind? My insurance and the fact I work for a health care company and my out of pocket expenses were minimal.

Do I still think it's cheating? No, I now realize it is going to be a long, rough road.

I have told very few people and have their support. I did let everyone know I was having surgery when they asked what kind, I kindly replied it was personal. I know it isn't going to take a rocket scientist to figure it out when I start loosing the weight but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

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[taramarie523 116]

Everyone's recovery is different. I was very weak and dizzy 2 weeks post op. After 4 weeks I was able to walk long distance.

As for who to tell... I told my family and only those who i have a good relationship with. Other family members found out after my surgery but by that point i did not care about my extended family's thoughts or concerns or negativity. I also told a few friends and most have been supportive. I have only told me supervisor and two other people at work. Time to focus on me and shutdown any distractions from my goals.

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I like that "time to focus on me and shut down any distractions from my goals"

Real talk ????????????

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[SCF2361 4]

I haven't broadcast it, but I'm not going to lie about it because I'm not ashamed I had surgery. I honestly don't care what people think and if anyone makes derogatory comments I plan to smile and say "Wow. How rude!" And walk away. The people I have told have all been super supportive. My family and close friends all know how I've struggled my entire life with my weight and their encouragement has been amazing. However, this is just my experience and I know everyone has the right to handle the news and details of their surgery as they deem best and we all deserve to have our wishes respected.

[KristenLe 5,979]

"Female surgery"... no one wants to talk about that...lol

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I will have trouble selling that one...

Nowadays... Maybe not!

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[Nurse_Lenora 903]

I have a large Italian family both mine and my partners so two large Italian families to deal with and I had surgery and told no one except for my partner. No one has guessed because I spread the word that I was seeing a nutritionist and turning a new leaf. It can be done ! [emoji2]

[Killian 265]

I haven't broadcast it, but I'm not going to lie about it because I'm not ashamed I had surgery. I honestly don't care what people think

I am not ashamed of having the surgery...but I am lying about it to avoid uninformed, factless yet well-intentioned opinions. I simply just don't want to hear it. As someone else on this thread said:"there is only room enough in my head for me."

[kickinit 13]

I only told my husband. the first 8 weeks were hard, I was so tired and could barely eat anything! But I made it and 14 weeks out I am down 40lbs and super happy

[VSGButterfly404 29]

I only told my mother, as she is traveling with me to have my surgery. I am close with my manager at work, however because they share so much personal stuff of others with me, I decided not to tell her. I had some health and asthma issues earlier this year, so I just said the medications cause acid reflux issues and I am having a hernia repair. I didn't want to say I'm having my gallbladder removed since it's possible I may be one of those will have to after wls. I said it was a possibility thought. I have sworn my mom to secrecy until I'm ready to share with other family members. Most of them live out of state and I see them every other year or so, my weight is either up or down, the next time they see me it will be down!!!

I wanted to protect my mental side of this journey, I didn't want unsupportive people and them saying negative things prior to my surgery.

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[auroradawn 18]

I was researching for a year (I'm self-paying in Mexico) and didn't tell a single living soul. I made the leap and then was approved on April 1 (just 11 days ago). At first I didn't want to tell anyone at all, at least not until after it was all over, maybe not until people started noticing.

But I had to tell my kid because she lives with me. She might wonder where Mom went for five days.

Then I had to tell my ex husband (kid's dad), because I couldn't really leave her alone for five days without telling him.

That's all I told that first weekend, those two. They were both very supportive, ex even asking if he should go with me as a support person. (Even the nicest, most supportive ex husband shouldn't have to do that, I told him.)

Emboldened, I told my boss on the following Monday. It was difficult to get the words out, but she was so accepting and told me my other coworkers would be to. So then I told them, the ones I'm closest to, and they are. Which is nice, because I have lunch with them every single day, and they are sure to notice that I'm on a liquid and mushy food diet for three months!

Then I told my two best friends. Who love me and support me, which I never really doubted.

Then I wrote an email and told the rest of my extended family here in Washington. They support me, too.

I was definitely not going to tell my mom, though; she'd just worry. (Plus I was quite sure I'd feel like I was 10 and about to get scolded.)

But two days ago I told my mom, because I felt guilty not telling her. And she surprised me (though, not really) by being supportive as well. (Probably worried. But supportive.)

In about 10 days I've gone from telling no one, to telling everyone.

Last night I started a blog, telling the world, and I plan to chronicle the whole thing. I know that's not for everyone, but for ME, it's right. I realized my not telling came from a place of shame that I'd somehow failed doing it the "normal" way, or that I was cheating. (Note: this only applies to me; I don't ascribe my feelings on this to anyone else. We are all on our own paths.)

The WLS is a tool, given to me by a surgeon. But ultimately, I am the agent of this change. I decided to do it, I did the research, and I'm going to be doing the hard work to make the most of it. I want to Celebrate it.