Do I tell people I'm having surgery or keep it a secret? Advice greatly received!

[inkie 30]

Hi everyone,

I'm being sleeved in a week & so far only a handful of family & friends know. I'm very tempted to go on Facebook & spill the Beans, so I can get support & not feel like I'm hiding something, but.......I'm so worried people will judge me, be jealous or even make fun of me :/ I'm not sure what to do.

How has everyone here dealt with other people? Did you keep it a secret or tell the whole world!? I know I shouldn't care what people think, but I don't want to be judged :/

[cherri2082 149]

Inkie! I was sleeved 12/30 and am down 56lbs. 6 lbs to one-derland! I havent really told many people - but of course I get questioned about rapid weight loss and how I am making it work. I am very vague - I say knocking out all white foods etc. Some people deserve to know for support - others can stand back and scratch their head. Its our journey and only supportive people need to know.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using the BariatricPal App

[loriemoms 101]

Not only have I posted on Facebook, but the first year I put out progress reports every month. But my facebook is only close friends and relatives, I don't have a lot of "facebook only" friends, so they knew about it anyway. I don't see any shame in having a sleeve. Everyone is so excited that my diabetes is gone!!

[labradormom21 13]

I'm going through the same thing right now (: only a handful of people know. I'm probably going to tell the rest of my family about 5 weeks or so out, when it becomes super super noticeable. I don't think I would ever post it on Facebook though. Just for personal reasons, as I feel that it's my decision and I would be afraid of the judgement or the classic "she took the easy way out" -even though we all know that's not true! Everyone's choices are different though, and I did make an anonymous Instagram account to show my progress and get support that way. Haven't posted anything of course, but it's a work in progress! I recently got sleeved (March 9, 2016) and so far everything is good! The way I looked at it was once you tell people you can't take it back. The people in your life really don't have a right to know as it is your body. You can tell them whenever (if ever) you want to. There are some people that I'll never tell, and I make sure to tell just those that I know will keep my secret (:

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[inkie 30]

Ooooh! Two very different answers, thank you both. I think my thinking is a combination of the two of you. I'm thinking I might type out an explanation & put all the info about the sleeve on there, so people can see it's a tool & not a magic wand....still thinking though.....

Well done for your weight losses & hard work <3

Ooooh! Two very different answers, thank you both. I think my thinking is a combination of the two of you. I'm thinking I might type out an explanation & put all the info about the sleeve on there, so people can see it's a tool & not a magic wand....still thinking though.....

Well done for your weight losses & hard work <3

[inkie 30]

I'm going through the same thing right now (: only a handful of people know. I'm probably going to tell the rest of my family about 5 weeks or so out, when it becomes super super noticeable. I don't think I would ever post it on Facebook though. Just for personal reasons, as I feel that it's my decision and I would be afraid of the judgement or the classic "she took the easy way out" -even though we all know that's not true! Everyone's choices are different though, and I did make an anonymous Instagram account to show my progress and get support that way. Haven't posted anything of course, but it's a work in progress! I recently got sleeved (March 9, 2016) and so far everything is good! The way I looked at it was once you tell people you can't take it back. The people in your life really don't have a right to know as it is your body. You can tell them whenever (if ever) you want to. There are some people that I'll never tell, and I make sure to tell just those that I know will keep my secret (:

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Instagram is good, but I'm not great with photos, but I'm sure that's down to my size!! Can I follow you?

You're right about not being able to take it back, I could completely regret it. There are some people I'd never tell too, & if I tell the majority, I'm sure the minority would find out eventually & not from me in the way I'd be happy for them to know....Thank you for your advice <3

[Miss Mac 6,261]

My best friend, Benjamin Franklin said,

"Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead"

and

"To whom thy secrets thou doest tell, to them thy freedom thou doest sell."

Miss Mac says, If you have no one you can trust, come here to the forum for support.

[DaisyAmy 561]

It's such a personal decision. I decided to personally tell my family, close friends and close coworkers. Now, I know for a fact that some of those people told other people, etc, but I don't get worked up about it. All my close friends and family have been so supportive. And those who I didn't personally tell are either supportive or don't have the balls to tell me anything different. Ha!

[kaitlynm 335]

I told my family and close friends, but I don't think I would even do that again. Everyone seems to have an opinion and most of them are negative. I would stick to a need to know basis only if I were to do it again.

[Christinamo7 4,041]

everyone has to decide for themselves. I have been open about it, but I have pretty thick skin and I tend to be pretty open.

However, as a diabetic I do tell people that I have had surgery on my stomach due to my diabetes. because honestly, for me the weight loss is a good side effect, but being off diabetes medication is the best thing.

[DaisyAmy 561]

Amen to that!!!

[ohhsosweetxvb 44]

I didn't even have to tell my family, my mom did that for me, she was excited for me. -.- I hated it because I wanted my family to think I didn't it on my own but whatever. They're all supportive of my decision. My close friends and close coworkers know. So far everyone supports me and it feels good.

[Egharper 13]

Today I started my 14 day pre op liquid diet preparing for Gastric Sleeve surgery on March 28, 2016. I am doing ok but am already missing my favorite foods and am anxious as hell to get this process over. I must admit I told only my closest family members! The rest of the world is on a need to know basis. The reason I say that is because some people are so judgmental and this is something I am doing for myself and NOT for anyone else. In the beginning I mentioned I was interested in the concept of getting the surgery and got mixed reviews though many especially family have been positive and encouraging. If I encounter someone who shows an interest and has questions and concerns I will be there for them all of the way because you really need positive people around you who respect what you are doing to become healthier and happier with your health and your image! I will not go on FB and let them know but I am sure many will figure it out on there own. LOL! I am not huge but am at least 70 lbs heavier than I want to be and am grateful for the opportunity and the help to reach my goal. I have had abdominal surgery in the past so I am fully aware of what I will be experiencing after surgery and have taken steps to prepare by purchasing a heating pad (helps with pain), an abdominal brace (helps by supporting stomach muscles cause coughing, sneezing and laughing is no joke) and gas x strips (because the gas pain will kill ya)!

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[Dawnie Doo 184]

Hi everyone,

I'm being sleeved in a week & so far only a handful of family & friends know. I'm very tempted to go on Facebook & spill the Beans, so I can get support & not feel like I'm hiding something, but.......I'm so worried people will judge me, be jealous or even make fun of me :/ I'm not sure what to do.

How has everyone here dealt with other people? Did you keep it a secret or tell the whole world!? I know I shouldn't care what people think, but I don't want to be judged :/

OMG I feel the same way! My husband knows. My supervisor knows because I'll need a lil time off from work. My cousin knows because she had a very successful gastric bypass several years ago and she offers great advice. I haven't shared with any friends or other family (not even my mom) because of judgements, etc. I have NO time for negativity! I have my excellent support in my hubby and that's all that matters.

Dawnie_doo

[applejenn 173]

I told/tell anyone who asks. There's such a stigma about it, I feel if I can educate someone about it then it's great. I know people who don't tell anyone and then others speculate that they're I'll. I'm an open and honest speak my mind person anyway

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App