Failure

[byebyefat 262]

Today was my 4th month post op appointment and boy or boy what a disappointment, I weigh 249 same weight since November 29th , but what was most disappointing was the way the surgeon talked to me, he bust in the room and begins with your honey moon period is over you should be down 50 pounds or more , what have you been eating, evidently not what your supposed to, this is a tool and you are not using it correctly and goes on and on , then I began to show him my food log, to show him I'm actually meeting my Protein and Water goals but he goes I have never in all my over five hundred patients seen someone eat and drink properly and haven't lost , are you Journaling this correctly , then said I want to see you in 2 months I want you down 40 or more pounds and got up and began to walk away , didn't even go over my labs with me, my Constipation concerns or what prescription he ordered for me being as though my Iron was low and my Vitamin D , don't get me wrong I'm happy that I lost 20 pounds but I've lost more on my pre op die in this same amount of time frame , everyone keeps saying embrace the stall well , I embraced it and totally over it, and the ones that are saying it don't understand my frustration because I haven't met or seen one person on these forums that lost as little as me and been on a stall this long, this early on, and no I'm not competition with no one but I feel like this is not normal to have such a low weight loss but doing everything right, I feel like all of the other times I've went on a diet ...... A FAILURE

Edited January 15, 2016 by byebyefat

[Bufflehead 6,358]

Your surgeon sounds like a complete asshole, to be blunt. I am sorry he treated you like that and sorry he didn't offer support and guidance instead of just berating you. Can you call his office and ask for a referral to a registered dietitian who works with bariatric patients? You might get more solid information and a much more helpful attitude from a dietitian than from a surgeon (some of them are notorious for being great at cutting, and not so great at anything else).

Also, for Constipation and Vitamin concerns, you might check in with your primary care provider rather than the surgeon. That peson would also likely be more supportive and helpful, and they should be just as qualified to treat those issues as a surgeon (if not more qualified).

Again, I am sorry your doctor is being a jerk. Don't let him make you feel like a failure! You are asking for help and want to do the right thing, you can't be a failure. Keep going!

[libby43 136]

That's my biggest fear of being a slow loser . It's how the doctor will treat me. I'm so sorry you where treated that way. Your not a failure keep up the good work.

[byebyefat 262]

Your surgeon sounds like a complete a*****e, to be blunt. I am sorry he treated you like that and sorry he didn't offer support and guidance instead of just berating you. Can you call his office and ask for a referral to a registered dietitian who works with bariatric patients? You might get more solid information and a much more helpful attitude from a dietitian than from a surgeon (some of them are notorious for being great at cutting, and not so great at anything else).

Also, for Constipation and Vitamin concerns, you might check in with your primary care provider rather than the surgeon. That peson would also likely be more supportive and helpful, and they should be just as qualified to treat those issues as a surgeon (if not more qualified).

Again, I am sorry your doctor is being a jerk. Don't let him make you feel like a failure! You are asking for help and want to do the right thing, you can't be a failure. Keep going!

thank you so much, after I read your advice I called and the office made me a spot with the nut, but it's not till the first week in February, thanks again

That's my biggest fear of being a slow loser . It's how the doctor will treat me. I'm so sorry you where treated that way. Your not a failure keep up the good work.

thanks so much

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

What an awful experience! Did you meet with the nutritionist? I would suggest doing that. In my opinion, a food log tells you more than just what your calories and Protein are. If you look at it, you can see how carbs effect you, how much sodium and how even so called "safe" foods effect your body.

You don't mention how tall you are but people with less weight to lose may also lose slower.

I would hope there would also be a discussion on exercise, another thing that effect eight loss for me.

If you want to share what a typical day in terms of eating and activity is like, I'm sure we could offer some suggestions.

Anyway, sorry you had such a negative experience. Hang in there!

[The Candidate 3,215]

I am so sorry you had to be subjected to that kind of abuse. There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of unprofessional behavior on your doctor's part. First and foremost we are each human beings and should be treated as such.

You are NOT a failure. Please don't let that Doctor derail your end goal. None of us loses at the same pace. Our individual loss rate is as unique as a fingerprint. Unfortunately yours seems ultra slow, and I wish there was a magic formula to speed things up. Just continue doing what you're doing and you will get there. I know, easier said than done, but don't give up on yourself.

When you get there, however long it takes, march right back to that doctor's office and demand a formal apology!

You deserve a healthy life and I believe you will get it,

[byebyefat 262]

What an awful experience! Did you meet with the nutritionist? I would suggest doing that. In my opinion, a food log tells you more than just what your calories and Protein are. If you look at it, you can see how carbs effect you, how much sodium and how even so called "safe" foods effect your body.

You don't mention how tall you are but people with less weight to lose may also lose slower.

I would hope there would also be a discussion on exercise, another thing that effect eight loss for me.

If you want to share what a typical day in terms of eating and activity is like, I'm sure we could offer some suggestions.

Anyway, sorry you had such a negative experience. Hang in there!

thank you for your response , your very encouraging, I'm 5th 4 in , I most walk far as exercise but I do 2 , 30 min workouts every week, for Breakfast I ate a hard boiled egg and a slice of cheese , for lunch I ate some baked chicken breast with some cheese for snack I ate some yogurt and pastacios and a cup of milk not at the same time and for dinner I'm eating some whiting and Collard greens

I am so sorry you had to be subjected to that kind of abuse. There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of unprofessional behavior on your doctor's part. First and foremost we are each human beings and should be treated as such.

You are NOT a failure. Please don't let that Doctor derail your end goal. None of us loses at the same pace. Our individual loss rate is as unique as a fingerprint. Unfortunately yours seems ultra slow, and I wish there was a magic formula to speed things up. Just continue doing what you're doing and you will get there. I know, easier said than done, but don't give up on yourself.

When you get there, however long it takes, march right back to that doctor's office and demand a formal apology!

You deserve a healthy life and I believe you will get it,

thank you so much for the kind words and for believing in me, I truly appreciate it

[TinyTink 268]

How awful that you're unsupported by your surgeon. I just wanted to comment that YOU ARE NOT a failure. No way, no how. This whole thing is a process and it happens differently for everyone.

[JamieLogical 8,684]

I agree with what the others have said. Utilize other resources you have access to, like your nutritionist and your PCP and forget about the surgeon. He sounds like a real ass! It does concern me that exercise wasn't even discussed.

I hope you figure out what your barriers are and how to work around them so you can continue to lose, even if it's not as fast as the surgeon wants.

[byebyefat 262]

How awful that you're unsupported by your surgeon. I just wanted to comment that YOU ARE NOT a failure. No way, no how. This whole thing is a process and it happens differently for everyone.

thank you very much for your very encouraging words , it means so much to me, after having a awful morning, everyone's kind words were very inspirational

[byebyefat 262]

I agree with what the others have said. Utilize other resources you have access to, like your nutritionist and your PCP and forget about the surgeon. He sounds like a real ass! It does concern me that exercise wasn't even discussed.

I hope you figure out what your barriers are and how to work around them so you can continue to lose, even if it's not as fast as the surgeon wants.

thank you , I made a appt with the nut and I'm a go to the support group next Thursday, thanks so much for the advice

Edited January 15, 2016 by byebyefat

[VDLT 244]

Reading this made me so sad. If you are only 4 months out you should still have plenty to time to turn things around and lose the weight you want to lose. Hopefully the NUT will be able to go through your logs and see if there are things you can tweak to get the scales moving.

I would take @@BLERDgirl advice and post what you are eating and what kind of exercise you are doing on here. People here have been nothing but helpful and kind in these situations before and I am sure someone can give you some pointers.

Hang in there and do not despair. Do not give up, you can turn it around.

[byebyefat 262]

Reading this made me so sad. If you are only 4 months out you should still have plenty to time to turn things around and lose the weight you want to lose. Hopefully the NUT will be able to go through your logs and see if there are things you can tweak to get the scales moving.

I would take @@BLERDgirl advice and post what you are eating and what kind of exercise you are doing on here. People here have been nothing but helpful and kind in these situations before and I am sure someone can give you some pointers.

Hang in there and do not despair. Do not give up, you can turn it around.

thank you, I wrote all the advice down, I like to rewrite them in my goal and to do list , I'm to the point I never want to see my surgeon again, he hurt my feelings a great deal and it takes a lot to affect me

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Been there, done that, got the shirt. My longest stall was six months, so here is how my primary physician helped me break through:

My B12 gummies were switched to sublingual B12 tablets, which are small, taste fruity, melt in my mouth and are available at Walgreens off the shelf. He also added a Folate supplement for extra measure. I get Vitamin D from a chewable D plus Calcium at Walgreens. You can get chocolate or caramel. Plus, in the summer, early morning sunshine is an outstanding natural way to get D.

Here is a B12 trick. When I was a teenager, I was underweight, anorexic, and anemic. My doctor suggested to my Mom that I eat calve's liver twice a week! Really????? Blech! Mom's only way to fix liver was in the fry pan. It tasted like shoes with onions! Sorry Mom - rest in peace.

We had a Mexican neighbor who offered to help. She took liver and minced it. Then she fried it up with her meat mixture for tacos, tostadas, tamales, etc. It was so well hidden among the other meats, spices, and peppers, that it was not detectable. Between that and The monthly B12 shots, I came out of it in a few short months. I have loved Mexican food ever since. As a matter of fact, I am eating a taco salad right now.

Another thing my dear departed mother did was serve hot spinach wilted in vinegar. Oh my, no! I found out as an adult that fresh spinach actually tastes kind of neutral. I have some in this taco salad I am eating. I put it in omelets, smoothies, and casseroles and don't notice any taste. I figured it out that it wasn't the spinach I hated, it was the vinegar. So add spinach to stuff.

I took my journal to my doctor, and he suggested that I eat more fish and poultry and less beef and pork. He also had me cut waaaaay back on cheese, Peanut Butter, and nuts. There are 43 calories in one ounce of cod and 100 calories in one ounce of cheese. my "tablespoon" of Peanut Butter was closer to 1/3 cup. My 100 calories of peanut butter was more like 600 calories. If you have stopped weighing and measuring, go back to it. I did not realize how my portions were getting distorted.

I love nuts, but my handful was more like a cup. Seriously. I could eat my day's calories just in mixed nuts....plus the salt. I was letting salt sneak back in.

Other changes: If I have carbs, I have them early in the day, and they have to be healthy, like oatmeal. If I have milk, I have it as a bedtime snack and it helps me sleep. My shakes are made with almond milk and berries. No more bananas and sugary fruits. I had to stop drinking my calories.

As for the Constipation, I had to increase vegetation in my diet If I have an egg for Breakfast, I will slice up a small Tomato. I now eat taco salad for lunch almost every day. I eat more veggies Soups than before. I eat more veggies and less fruit. I was eating three or four pieces of fruit every day. Now I eat berries in the morning and maybe a banana before a workout. Look at the balance of your food and incorporate more green veggies and less potatoes. (I never met a potato I did not like, but they are one of my slider traps).

The other suggestion my doctor gave me was to up the ante on exercise and daily activity. Obviously, my metabolism was slow and not using up what I was eating. At two years, when I should be eating around 1400 calories, 1,000 is my maintenance barrier.

All of these adjustments work together and broke that stall. I wish the best and hope your nutritionist has a heart.

[byebyefat 262]

Been there, done that, got the shirt. My longest stall was six months, so here is how my primary physician helped me break through:

My B12 gummies were switched to sublingual B12 tablets, which are small, taste fruity, melt in my mouth and are available at Walgreens off the shelf. He also added a Folate supplement for extra measure. I get Vitamin D from a chewable D plus Calcium at Walgreens. You can get chocolate or caramel. Plus, in the summer, early morning sunshine is an outstanding natural way to get D.

Here is a B12 trick. When I was a teenager, I was underweight, anorexic, and anemic. My doctor suggested to my Mom that I eat calve's liver twice a week! Really????? Blech! Mom's only way to fix liver was in the fry pan. It tasted like shoes with onions! Sorry Mom - rest in peace.

We had a Mexican neighbor who offered to help. She took liver and minced it. Then she fried it up with her meat mixture for tacos, tostadas, tamales, etc. It was so well hidden among the other meats, spices, and peppers, that it was not detectable. Between that and The monthly B12 shots, I came out of it in a few short months. I have loved Mexican food ever since. As a matter of fact, I am eating a taco salad right now.

Another thing my dear departed mother did was serve hot spinach wilted in vinegar. Oh my, no! I found out as an adult that fresh spinach actually tastes kind of neutral. I have some in this taco salad I am eating. I put it in omelets, smoothies, and casseroles and don't notice any taste. I figured it out that it wasn't the spinach I hated, it was the vinegar. So add spinach to stuff.

I took my journal to my doctor, and he suggested that I eat more fish and poultry and less beef and pork. He also had me cut waaaaay back on cheese, Peanut Butter, and nuts. There are 43 calories in one ounce of cod and 100 calories in one ounce of cheese. my "tablespoon" of Peanut Butter was closer to 1/3 cup. My 100 calories of peanut butter was more like 600 calories. If you have stopped weighing and measuring, go back to it. I did not realize how my portions were getting distorted.

I love nuts, but my handful was more like a cup. Seriously. I could eat my day's calories just in mixed nuts....plus the salt. I was letting salt sneak back in.

Other changes: If I have carbs, I have them early in the day, and they have to be healthy, like oatmeal. If I have milk, I have it as a bedtime snack and it helps me sleep. My shakes are made with almond milk and berries. No more bananas and sugary fruits. I had to stop drinking my calories.

As for the Constipation, I had to increase vegetation in my diet If I have an egg for Breakfast, I will slice up a small Tomato. I now eat taco salad for lunch almost every day. I eat more veggies Soups than before. I eat more veggies and less fruit. I was eating three or four pieces of fruit every day. Now I eat berries in the morning and maybe a banana before a workout. Look at the balance of your food and incorporate more green veggies and less potatoes. (I never met a potato I did not like, but they are one of my slider traps).

The other suggestion my doctor gave me was to up the ante on exercise and daily activity. Obviously, my metabolism was slow and not using up what I was eating. At two years, when I should be eating around 1400 calories, 1,000 is my maintenance barrier.

All of these adjustments work together and broke that stall. I wish the best and hope your nutritionist has a heart.

thank you, thank you, thank you and thank you, I'm going to do all of this, Such awesome advice and you really gave me so much hope, I'm going begin all of this today, starting with the Soup for dinner, I'll check in , in 2 weeks hopefully I have good news.....fingers crossed and carbs down