I have a family who loves eating out. Was this a hard transition for anyone? Is it weird when everyone else is eating and you are sitting there? Does the waiter look at goi funny? I want to still enjoy the family time. Is there something you all started with your family in place of dinners?

my family also goes out to eat quite often and even if we don't, down here in the south ANY family gathering usually revolves around food. luckily for me, i have two children, one still small, and i usually spend a lot of time at the meals feeding, wiping and getting on to my kiddos. people prob won't even notice if i am not eating much.

my doc gives us a laminated card stating we are bariatric patients and usually the restaurants accommodate with letting people order off the senior or kids menu etc. i will not hesitate to pull out that bad boy if necessary! i don't care what servers think. I've been there in that job i honestly couldn't tell you what people ordered or how much of it they ate thats for sure! at regular restaurants i can see myself just sharing with hubby or family member but the only place i am worried about it going to a buffet. my oldest sons fav place is golden corral. i may just do their to go option where the food is priced on weight!

I understand about the south. I live in New Orleans!

Not sure where you are in your journey. I have been quite successful in a short period of time and I think it was because I "went off the social grid" for the first 3 months.

No dining out, no guests for dinner, no worry about what people think or say, just total focus on doing what they told me to do.

My wife wasn't crazy about, but I told her it was only temporary and promised we be going out and socializing soon.

After 3 months, I started my new life. My old life was such a distant memory, it was totally irrelevant.

Now I eat like a little girl in a size 0 dress. I order a glass of wine and slowly sip it (I never finish it before we leave), and pass on the bread.

If it looks like a multi-course meal, I'll order a cup of soup for the appetizer round.

I'll then order something moist for my entree (beef stew, chicken piccata, etc). I'll eat a little, comment on how filling the soup was and take it to go.

If it's a casual restaurant, my wife and I order two appetizers to share and she eats 2/3's of it.

I still log everything, but seldom eat/drink 500 calories.

I would steer clear of Water or anything you might drink more than 4 ounces of.

My final advice would be to negotiate a plan with your family. Be ruthlessly honest about what your obesity is doing to you. Paint the picture of your state of health 10, 20, or 30 years down the road. Get them to visualize your grandkids losing their grandmother before their high school graduation. Share the pain and embarrassment of obesity (crying helps).

Then do some math, figure out how long you'll need to be "off the grid" and tell them they can dine out, go to birthday parties, holiday dinners, whatever WITHOUT YOU.

You must shake your mind and body into a new realty. It may take 6-8 months (or more), but it'll take less time than recovering from a heart attack, cancer, etc.

After 6 months plus of 100 calorie meals, dining out and splurging on 250 will feel like a Roman Feast.

Edited January 15, 201610 yr by Cape Crooner

I understand about the south. I live in New Orleans!

People that i know from up North who have moved here think it's hilarious. I never noticed it before but it's def true!

@@MzB, do you like meatballs? That is what I get when eating Italian.

Last night we went to a burger 0lace and I got a turkey burger with a side of broccoli. No bun. The waitress never batted an eye and I didn't feel any different. I really wanted my man's onion rings but I got over that quickly.

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Oh thank goodness for all the low carb/Palio dieters out there...they have blazed a trail that makes my life so much easier

Actually, it depends on where I am. I can usually order the best filet piece of steak I cut it in half and have part of it for Breakfast . I even have worked out deals with hotel staff to make me some special steak and eggs. If I am going home, that part is never a problem. My left overs are breakfast and usually lunch too.

@@Inner Surfer Girl

Do you just get the meatballs with no Pasta? I always seem to struggle to get them to just give me meat. If they do give me the pasta it is a struggle to leave it on the plate.... (weak I know, *shrug*)

@@Inner Surfer Girl

Do you just get the meatballs with no Pasta? I always seem to struggle to get them to just give me meat. If they do give me the pasta it is a struggle to leave it on the plate.... (weak I know, *shrug*)

Yes, just order a side order of meatballs.

I don't know why the would have a hard time just not putting the pasta on the plate unless they have pre-plated something which sounds strange for a pasta dish.

I remember one time I needed to get food at a hockey game. They had a wrap stand that sold a chicken fejita wrap and a ceasar chicken wrap. I ordered the fajita wrap with no wrap and no lettuce. The woman serving me was very confused, because even though I told her I was doing "low carb" she couldn't understand why I wouldn't at least want the lettuce. Some people are so nosy! But overall, I've managed to eat out dozens (maybe 100+) times post-op and the comments or awkward moments are very few and far between.

My partner agreed to share all restaurant meals with me (unless we completely disagree on which entrée to get!) Saves money and she's happy because she'll eat less this way, too. Sometimes when one spouse loses weight, the other benefits from their good habits and loses weight too! She's not as heavy as me but I know she wants to lose 20-30 pounds to feel better so I'm hoping my new way of life will inspire her.

4. Chinese - Egg Drop Soup. Beef broccoli or Pepper Beef. Tip: Order hot green tea to start. You can sip this until the entre comes out. keeps you busy and gets fluids in!

This would be a problem since I can't drink before I eat. One of the first times I went out to dinner I ordered a Water and went to town on it thinking I was getting ahead for the day. food came out and I was like rut ro. My pouch was full of water. Live and learn...

@@Ronjohn Sorry to hear that you have to be careful about drinking before eating. I am one of those that can usually drink up until I eat something. The Fluid seems to move through my sleeve quickly. Now I can't guzzle a 20 oz. drink and then also eat, my guzzling days are apparently over.... However, I can sit and enjoy 1/2 to almost a full glass of water before our food arrives. Hopefully this will be something you can do in the future (if you want to). I especially like it if I am out and can do a low cal mixed drink or wine before my meal arrives.

The funny thing is soup.. It fills me up super quick and the mix of liquid and solid stuff can be problematic if I don't go slowly. I have seen posts on this before I and I have always wondered how the "no drinking" rule applies to a broth based Soups... Doesn't soup inherently violate the "no drinking while eating" rule?

I guess I should have said I wasn't supposed to drink before I eat. I'm supposed to wait 15 minutes after drinking before I eat per my guidelines. I honestly have never tried to do it, as I was told not to, so I'm not sure if I would have an issue. In the instance above I just boxed it up and took it home.

I have a family who loves eating out. Was this a hard transition for anyone? Is it weird when everyone else is eating and you are sitting there? Does the waiter look at goi funny? I want to still enjoy the family time. Is there something you all started with your family in place of dinners?

Thats true. I just dont want to seem different.

It is easy. I eat out a lot. I am a vegetarian with food allergies. I rarely have an issue eating out. I was eating out 8 weeks post op.

4. Chinese - Egg Drop Soup. Beef broccoli or Pepper Beef. Tip: Order hot green tea to start. You can sip this until the entre comes out. keeps you busy and gets fluids in!

This would be a problem since I can't drink before I eat. One of the first times I went out to dinner I ordered a Water and went to town on it thinking I was getting ahead for the day. Food came out and I was like rut ro. My pouch was full of water. Live and learn...

I never drink the water. I order water when they take drink orders, then push it away.

No not my family but like the wait staff wondering why I dont eat that much. I just dont want questions. No one really knows im having surgery except family.

They don't care. They've seen much weirder things. And if they did who cares?

I remember one time I needed to get food at a hockey game. They had a wrap stand that sold a chicken fejita wrap and a ceasar chicken wrap. I ordered the fajita wrap with no wrap and no lettuce. The woman serving me was very confused, because even though I told her I was doing "low carb" she couldn't understand why I wouldn't at least want the lettuce. Some people are so nosy! But overall, I've managed to eat out dozens (maybe 100+) times post-op and the comments or awkward moments are very few and far between.

On vacation one year I actually order a tuna sandwich no tuna. I was in Italy skiing and starving! I stopped at a pub and this was the closest safe thing to eat. I just wanted the lettuce, tomato and cheese. I'll admit I got some strange looks, but the sandwich was delicious!

The funny thing is Soup.. It fills me up super quick and the mix of liquid and solid stuff can be problematic if I don't go slowly. I have seen posts on this before I and I have always wondered how the "no drinking" rule applies to a broth based Soups... Doesn't soup inherently violate the "no drinking while eating" rule?

I was told no soup after the liquid diet phases, because it really is just drinking your calories. If I do chili or some chowder or something, I always eat the solid bits and leave the liquidy parts in the bowl/cup.

I guess I should have said I wasn't supposed to drink before I eat. I'm supposed to wait 15 minutes after drinking before I eat per my guidelines. I honestly have never tried to do it, as I was told not to, so I'm not sure if I would have an issue. In the instance above I just boxed it up and took it home.

Early on I was instructed not to drink 5 minutes before eating, because the swelling could case some Water to stay in the stomach longer and make you feel too "full" to eat, but once the swelling was down, I was cleared to drink right up to the time I started eating. I still have to wait at least 20 minutes after eating (I usually wait closer to 45) before drinking again.