Apprehensive feeling when asked "how much have you lost?"

[jj7481 363]

Glad I'm not alone here. I can't seem to isolate the irritation, but every time my mother asks "So, how much have you lost now" it would annoy me to no end. Almost as if the the repetitive questioning felt like an interrogation (even though she didn't mean for it to come across that way).

I know I'm new to this journey. However, so far every day has been a learning day. I take the good with the bad and adapt to move forward with the best possible mindset. I have finally stopped deflecting but more so say how loose my clothes are fitting, or how I've already had to get new pants & belt because I'm down another size. This seems to work for the time being.

[fly-high 84]

I am telling everyone that it is not about the numbers for me. Truly it isn't. I want to be fit and active and healthy. I want to buy the clothes I want to buy and not worry about them not coming in my size. I want to fly without worrying about who I will sit next to and whether the seatbelt will fit. I want to fit in. I feel that by telling people my numbers I am giving them power over me. Power that they don't deserve to have. "You're melting away" is a fairly common statement, to which I answer, "I'm pretty happy with how things are going, thanks."

I had lost over 50 pounds about 15 years ago and had told a colleague and was disappointed that she shared that information with others. That memory is probably influencing my decision. It is just nobody's business but mine. The thing is, I am not ashamed of my number, but people who have the information may use that knowledge to undermine my confidence. "She has lost almost 100 pounds - can you believe it?" (I'm projecting - so far I think I have lost around 20 lbs)

Never again will I give away my power. Instead I will divert the questions by responding about how much fun it is to be able to go hiking/swimming/paddling and be outdoors. I am truly not worrying about the numbers....

You sum it up for me by saying "Never again will I give away my Power",

bottom line is no matter who you are or think you are in the hierarchy of life or work PEOPLE will be talking about you behind your back and developing a theory about you. So called friends or not. People will take whatever information they can about you to gain power over you when and if it is needed to make them feel better to give them the Competitive Edge...

As someone said on here, I will talk about it all here with you all but in the world in which I live I will pass on giving away my edge.....

[Blue1213 122]

I get uncomfortable when people ask and some of them will press when I try not to answer. I've started going onto a website called ilostwhat.com. It will give you a real life example of the weight lost. So for example 100 lbs is a 2 month old horse. So you can just say I lost a 2 month old horse. (It stops at 100 so I've been saying I lost a horse plus whatever extra thing if that makes since)

[LadyK44 263]

It irritates the mess out of me "So how much weight have you lost now?" I do not feel obligated to give an answer.

[catwoman7 10,875]

I like that answer someone gave earlier - "over 100 lbs". Right now, I'm telling them "about 80" (even though it's more than that). At some point it's going to be obvious I've lost more, so I think I'll stop at "over 100 lbs". That sounds like a ton of weight. And i don't want anyone trying to figure out what I must have weighed originally.

[newmebithebypass 713]

Honestly for me I'm proud to say when I've lost weight because its an accomplishment

[Alex Brecher 10,494]

goblue9280,

Thanks for bringing up this topic! It’s a sensitive one! I think you have a great answer to say something vague like, “I don’t really know,” and I love Dub’s addition of, “but I have a lot more to go.”

Thanks also for pointing out that most people actually do mean well, even if you’d rather they didn’t say anything. It’s hard for us to think about how a lot of people see WLS patients; they are on the outside looking in, and they (most of them) just are curious or want to be positive. The way they see it, asking how much you lost gives you a chance to brag.

lauraellen80…that’s great!

Anyway, congrats to all of you who have lost so much weight that people are asking you about it!

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

It's like Oprah says"Just trying to get your best body back"!

Diet and exercise...don't elaborate.

[Dark-Horse 5]

Someone today asked if I had lost weight (I'm a newbie, so only 25 so far). I told him not really, just a different hair cut and color. He is now going to wonder if it was his imagination. But then there are others who ask, but with a cynical edge. Almost like they want you to fail? Misery loves company. Or maybe jealousy that I have chosen to do something to get healthier? Either way, i go with as vague an answer as I can. Or to borrow a bit from Shrek, "better off then on"

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Don't engage...it is the first of the year everyone is dieting and exercise...New Years resolutions....weight watchers ,Oprah,Jenny Craig,Gyms.....Paleo,Vegetarian,Reducing carb...not too much info...

[UalreadyKnow 843]

I get asked this on a daily basis because my MIL runs a nail shop out of our home, everyday there is someone that's hasn't seen me in a week or so and wants an "update" but after answering this question everyday..about 8 times a day, it gets very frustrating. Then I get the ones that say "wow you've lost a good 20 lbs right" and I say to myself.. "No b***h more like 95 but ok" but really, I just smile and say,yea I've lost some weight. Nothing like an F YOU with a smile!!!!

Edited January 6, 2016 by UalreadyKnow

[smb1966 129]

I like the "if you loose any more weight your going to wither away". What the heck does that mean, really. I still weigh almost 170 lbs, what are they trying to prove or is it that maybe they just didn't realize how much I weighed before surgery. Either way , I just say, "yeah right"

[reefblock 0]

I live in a very small community and get tired of the questions about how much weight I have lost or comments like "don't loose any more". I usually change the subject quickly by admiring something about the person asking.

[fly-high 84]

I live in a very small community and get tired of the questions about how much weight I have lost or comments like "don't loose any more". I usually change the subject quickly by admiring something about the person asking.

Join the club, lol.... I never thought I would hate that so much...

I am not a feeling type of person, but this is killing me as well.....

[drw2 9]

People at work know I had surgery. To fix my acid reflux (#1 surgery for that is bypass...but they don't know that) then in a meeting someone said oh yeah you had gastric bypass surgery. I wanted to slap get in the face...I looked shocked and said no. Seriously what gives people to right to assume and then blurt out thoughts. I was pissed. Luckily other people haven't said anything...They prob assume which is fine but I don't want to discuss it.