Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Apprehensive feeling when asked "how much have you lost?"



Recommended Posts

It's a perfectly normal question that has been coming at a higher frequency the further along I get. For whatever reason, whenever some one asks me, I get anxious and lie to them saying "I really don't know." Truth is, I know... I weigh myself multiple times per week and am always thinking about how much I've lost to date. For whatever reason I don't want to let people know I've lost over 100 pounds since it is obvious I still have quite a ways to go. It's like I know I've accomplished a lot to date (I promise I'm not fishing for atta boys here) but since the journey is far from complete, I feel uncomfortably openly discussing where I am on the path. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this quirk or if I'm just a nutcase.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate discussing the numbers anywhere but on here.

It irritates the crap outa me when folks get hung up on the numbers.

I usually deflect a bit and just say something like, "A lot....but a heap more to go". That's not enough for some folks, though. They've just got to hear a number.

Most everyone means well with their questions. I try too give them the reassuring answers that let them know I do not have cancer or the bird flu but have been actively trying to lose weight and then flip the conversation around on them as soon as I see an opening. That usually takes care of it.

Usually.

For those that persist on gleaning the numbers.......I suggest a choke slam or swift chop to their throat...............or......... give them the damn numbers and move on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When they ask how much weight have you lost just say "I'll forgive you for being rude by asking me if you forgive me for my rudeness for not answering you." :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I made the decision early out not to share numbers. So, I just tell people I decided not to share numbers. If they press, I just say "a lot" and leave it at that,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One friend of mine saw me in September after not seeing me since March or April (sleeved in mid-June) and said, "Is it just me, or have you lost a f**k-ton of weight?" I replied that no, it was probably closer to half of a f**k-ton so far. It was very funny.

I do get a little uncomfortable when people ask me how much I've lost... partly because I am embarrassed that I had over 100 lbs to lose in the first place! I mean, of course everyone knew I was fat, but they didn't know just how fat I was.

Edited by lauraellen80

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just rattle off a ballpark figure that I've lost since my surgery day (without mentioning that I'd lost 60 lbs *before* surgery). I don't want them calculating in their head how much I once weighed. To a normal person, even "about 80 lbs" sounds like a lot. I don't want them to know it's more like 140! Sometimes I do like others do and just say "a lot".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't gotten to the place yet...but I'm dreading it! Also I am friendly to everyone at work so I'm worried they're going to ask if I've had surgery. Have y'all encountered that and is so how do you handle it. Btw I'm a teacher so everyone is up in everyone's business :(

Last thought how long (how much weight) did it take y'all to loose a pants size? Not trying to be rude lol...but seriously

Edited by drw2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

no one has asked me if I had surgery. Although people didn't start commenting about my weight until I'd already lost about 50 lbs (post-surgery), and at that point, I was only losing about 2 lbs a week. So they seem to believe me when I said I'd been working with dietitian and exercising like a fiend (which is actually true....).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been getting this question a lot recently since I have seen a lot of people over the holidays who I don't normally see and it makes me embarrassed and feel so awkward. I try to change the subject or just "quite a bit." Or "I've lost track."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also stick with, "oh yeah, quite a bit, lots of hard work!"

I don't feel obligated to share specifics, but also don't mind people being curious. I think people who have smaller amounts of weight to lose are usually really proud to share numbers, but for those of us with significant amounts of weight lost (anyone with WLS, low and high BMI), it can be embarrassing to say you've lost a whole person worth of weight.

Do whatever feels good to you and don't feel bad for leaving out information that's personal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am telling everyone that it is not about the numbers for me. Truly it isn't. I want to be fit and active and healthy. I want to buy the clothes I want to buy and not worry about them not coming in my size. I want to fly without worrying about who I will sit next to and whether the seatbelt will fit. I want to fit in. I feel that by telling people my numbers I am giving them power over me. Power that they don't deserve to have. "You're melting away" is a fairly common statement, to which I answer, "I'm pretty happy with how things are going, thanks."

I had lost over 50 pounds about 15 years ago and had told a colleague and was disappointed that she shared that information with others. That memory is probably influencing my decision. It is just nobody's business but mine. The thing is, I am not ashamed of my number, but people who have the information may use that knowledge to undermine my confidence. "She has lost almost 100 pounds - can you believe it?" (I'm projecting - so far I think I have lost around 20 lbs)

Never again will I give away my power. Instead I will divert the questions by responding about how much fun it is to be able to go hiking/swimming/paddling and be outdoors. I am truly not worrying about the numbers....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@goblue9280, you asked if you're a nut case. Maybe. I dunno. There are worse things.

Your note somehow reminded me of a very foolish line from an old, very heart-manipulating movie, "Miracle on 34th Street." It may have been in the trial scene when Edmund Gwenn as Santa was asked his age. He replied with something much like, "As old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth." True, certainly, but less than informative.

For your part, how about flashing your most dazzling smile and replying, "Probably as much as you think I have?" For variety, keep the smile and alternate with, "More pounds than the number of teeth in Edmund Gwenn's (or Santa's) mouth."

Play with the people, make 'em crazy. Entertain yourself.

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm actually looking forward to someone asking, then maybe it will seem real

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The last huge loss I had with a low carb diet, I was comfortable with family telling them I'd lost one hundred pounds. However I found myself getting more and more uncomfortable as I lost more in divulging the total. I started just saying over one hundred pounds and trying to leave it at that. Although some people pressed for a more specific number.

Currently, My sister is on weight watchers and it seems like family needs to just stay away from numbers and focus on health if they want to be encouraging for both of us. I want to support her, so I'll keep my numbers to myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×