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Has your Marriage Changed Since Surgery?



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I just had to go ahead and reread this...

And it made me work out even harder on the elliptical!

Thanks my friend!!

Aaaaannnndddd sweat just dropped on my screen!

I will get there again Dub you can count on it!

And if you're heading near Mexico in April, you'll find me on one of the beaches!

Oh and puhhhhleeeaase wear a speedo!

Pretty please!

And then dance.

Please dance.

Hell, I'll even join you!

We'll dance like nobody is watching! Except they are watching... very intentively!

And loving every minute of the show!!!

Way to go, Dub!

I'm having a very emotional day and reading that made me tear up!

Jerk. Haha

love ya!

????

Those aren't emotions......just the endorphin rush you've been feeling from the killer exercising you've been doing. :P

I gotta get my arse in gear and follow your lead......get into BEAST-mode really dang soon or I'll wind up looking like the skinny-fat dudes who wear Speedo bathing suits at the beach.....but should NOT.

I do not want to be that guy.

You, on the other hand, are getting into bikini shape and will arrive there well before beach season arrives. I'm grooving on your enthusiasm and loving your zeal for it.

You are the patient my surgeon yearns for. He's been on me to kick it into gear. He'd take you and have commercials made to showcase how it can happen for folks. Wonder Woman forthcoming. He'd have you on all the billboards all over town.

Much respect. I'm buying you a virtual ice cold beer and tipping it your way.

Please send me details of when and where you'll be debuting that beach body. I'll be on that beach, too. The skinny-fat guy with the sombrero on....dark sunglasses and bucket of ice cold Messican cervezas beside my worn out beach chair. I'll be there to sit back and take in the sights. Will NOT be wearing a Speedo, however. :P Full blown Perve-mode.

Edited by heather5565

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My hubby has never been one to give compliments, ever. Never tells me I look nice, I'm pretty, etc. So it has been no surprise really that nothing has changed. LOL. I get numerous compliments from people who say, boy, I bet your hubby tells you all the time how good you look or I bet your hubby is getting jealous of all this attention. Nope. But, we started dating 30 years ago when I was 16 and a size 4. He's seen me in all my changes. I guess since he's stuck by me, even at my heaviest, it's love. :)

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Yes, marriage is changing some since the big weight loss... and keeps changing always. And, we adapt to these changes by talking things out, by being open. Funny thing, she is less physical with me now than before, but I think this is tied to her own increasing (non-obesity, she is skinny) physical disability, not me. But, I certainly feel more attractive, more loose, easy walking, etc. Like Dub, I don't regret this surgery for a minute -- I recently rode a bike again for the first time in 20+ years, it was great. I walk the lab without getting out of breath. I got up flights of stairs without panting. I get flirted with again from women I don't know....I don't encourage it (100% monogamous entire married life of four decades) but I recognize it and smile!

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I'm still pre-op and I've only been married one year but my husband is excited I'm getting wls he's super supportive and very affectionate and loving

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I think that many couples would benefit from counseling before surgery and then after. As I stated before I'm part of a sleeved couple! We have been together for 16 going on 17 years. He and I are best friends. We have normal everyday issues. Being sleeved has brought us closer. What works for us "talking" simply talking!

All I can say is that if there were problems before you are sleeved there going to be magnify after such a procedure. Marriages are alive and require time and attention. When people lose weight they often receive a lot of outside positive nurturing. Make sure you take time to complement your spouse and review. Take care of yourself and your spouse.

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
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