I should know this week when will have surgery but should be mid Dec. I am a little concerned as I just got back from a 10 day vacation from work. I give my all to my job and to be honest my job doesn't really care much about their employees but I do have a concern that I will be taking off.

I don't want to tell them the reason for fear they will feel it is elective and I could wait (technically i could but job stability is an issue) I guess I just needed to vent and see what others have to say about feeling bad for your job.

I know it sounds silly, most people i know think I am crazy but I feel overwhelmed at leaving my area in the state it is in (I am a district manager) but I also feel I have almost 100 hours that can be used towards FMLA and I should take time that I need.

My plan is to base it off of what the doctor suggests and then I could always try to go back part time or work from home.

Does anyone else have this stress going on when it comes to time off work? Am I being selfish as I just had vacation. (Vacation was booked earlier this yeay way before my WLS path)

I think you answered it yourself...your job doesn't care about you and you are seen as just a commodity, so the only consideration should be whether or not you will actually be in jeopardy employment-wise if you take off. If there is some protection against being dismissed (not legal, just anything), just do it, because you should treat your job as a commodity (a paycheck) just like they treat you and your co-workers. I am not saying there is never a reason to treat somebody with moral consideration that hasn't or would not reciprocate, but work is different, and the stakes are too high here, and you should only exercise caution to the extent that it would ensure the safety of your job.

Thanks all I am not worried about job protection as I do have FMLA. Just I guess a small sense of me felt the time of year and technically the surgery can wait but like all have I could not have a job in 2 months, my insurance can change or a variety of other factors.

Thanks for the support had my last meeting today and it's off to the insurance now

I totally get the way you are feeling, I feel I can't be happy for my surgery for feeling some what guilty that my surgery will most likely be scheduled during the holiday season when I know we will be working short, but I do plan on filing for FMLA, but somehow I still feel some type of way, I guess I'm more loyal to my job than to myself, but I know that has to change.

I only took an actual 3 days off work. I did it with a weekend in there to give more time and had a snow day thrown in. So I was off Wed, Thurs and Friday. I didn't feel bad at all. LOL. However, imo here, a decent job will tell you that your health and your family should always come first. Everyone needs and deserves a vacation. You earn it and the company needs to realize that. As far as this, this is totally separate than your vacation, so don't even count the 2 together. Take the time you have and deserve. I knew I didn't have time, so didn't take a lot of time. Plus I'm in a position where I don't have someone to cover my position and as a school nurse, it's one that can't go without. That was my only reason for taking such a short time off.

As far as doing now vs after the holidays, I could have waited and done it when I was off for a week over spring break in March...however, it's a new year starting. I wanted to start the new year off right. New goals, new diet, new me. And I'm so glad I did!!!

Edited November 18, 201510 yr by Graciesmom04

I used FMLA. I used 2 weeks. I could have gotten away with 1 week off since I have a desk job. But I work an hour from home so I was concerned I would start to feel crappy and then have to drive an hour to get home.

My boss tried to influence the timing of my surgery. I'm an accountant and knew that I couldn't or shouldn't have the surgery during tax season, so I scheduled it for September, thinking that if it got delayed, I would still have it before January. He said "November would be better...." I said "For WHO?" and it wasn't mentioned again. I took a whole month, but could have gone back after a couple weeks.

My boss tried to influence the timing of my surgery. I'm an accountant and knew that I couldn't or shouldn't have the surgery during tax season, so I scheduled it for September, thinking that if it got delayed, I would still have it before January. He said "November would be better...." I said "For WHO?" and it wasn't mentioned again. I took a whole month, but could have gone back after a couple weeks.

Ha, I used to work for one of the Big 4. I can just imagine how that would've gone down

Let me be the first to say....it's time to be selfish! This about you and your life changing experience. You do not need to tell work why you are getting surgery, atleast specifically what kind. That's why there is hipa. Good luck with your surgery.

I cannot like or thumbs up this comment enough. THis past year I made the decision to BE SELFISH for once in my life, and I finally had my surgery. BEST DECISION EVER. This thinking has transformed so many areas of my life and I am actually so at peace and so happy for once.

Best part- you can take FMLA and you don't have to tell your work the exact reason why. I know if you "need" to tell work something, you can always say you are having a hernia repair or something. I understand, not wanting to tell them why you are leaving and the bottom line is, it's none of their business, they don't need to know!

Itsedical & confidential between the company &you , a violation for employers to tell co workers, your choices to discuss if comfortable with your choices. I told the truth afterwards because i didnt want to fall back into old ways my health, my choice to tell ppl their opinions didnt matter about my weight struggles.

Any medical is covered under FMLA after 1yr of employment ,up to12 wks paid of short term disability.

Leesa926,

Selfish? In what way? For taking the time off you’re entitled to? I don’t see that as being selfish. I see that as doing your job, and taking the time off you need and are entitled to. You were entitled to vacation, and you took vacation. You’re entitled to FMLA, and you can take it. That would be true even if your job were super nice to you and showed appreciation. Since you’re not treated well anyway, that’s even less of a reason to feel bad or selfish.

Please note the act reads: 12 weeks of leave in 12 months. Not that you have to work for a company for 12 months before you are entitled

• Twelve workweeks of leave in a 12-month period for:

• the birth of a child and to care for the newborn child within one year of birth;
• the placement with the employee of a child for adoption or foster care and to care for the newly placed child within one year of placement;
• to care for the employee’s spouse, child, or parent who has a serious health condition;
• a serious health condition that makes the employee unable to perform the essential functions of his or her job;
• any qualifying exigency arising out of the fact that the employee’s spouse, son, daughter, or parent is a covered military member on “covered active duty;” or

• Twenty-six workweeks of leave during a single 12-month period to care for a covered servicemember with a serious injury or illness if the eligible employee is the servicemember’s spouse, son, daughter, parent, or next of kin (military caregiver leave).

http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/

I told my boss I was having surgery. Didn't specify what because it wasn't their business. Granted, they figured it out as I started to lose weight and noticed the things I was eating post op. I also did mine in a less busy time of year.

I'm having my surgery in March of next year specifically because a its not the holidays b I work for a skeleton crew for a medical practice and its always all hands on deck and it will give me enough time to heal before my yearly family vacation