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So a lot people keep talking about and mentioning divorce... When you have the surgery has anyone seen or heard experienced it? I just got my surgery date I'm having it to help with my pros and diabetes... So my husband and i can have kids in the future ... I'm 23 known my husband since elm. School....

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The first surgeon I consulted after deciding to have weight loss surgery told me that the divorce rate among participants averages 70%.

Seemed very high at the time, but sense then I could see where it sounds more accurate.

I guess the normal divorce rate is over 50% anyway.......

A lot of changes occur with the weight loss. People feel better. People regain self esteem. Resentment can build from either party. The weight loser becomes much more active and wants to do things active folks do.

A lot of change occurs.

The spouse may not want any change to occur and want to do the same old things they always did.

It's understandable.

A healthy relationship pre-op will benefit.

An unhealthy relationship pre-op isn't going to be magically fixed.

I did it for health reasons like you said.

Some may be doing this for appearance reasons and have other plans.

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I agree with @Dub. I think if you had problems before surgery, they may get worse, not better after surgery and if you have a healthy relationship prior to surgery, surgery can make it stronger.

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Thanks I love this website I've been pretty positive through this bt that divorce thing just bugged me lol .... But makes sense :)

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It's a number and the way I feel about it is that if you focus on that then it will happen. I refuse to give up on my relationship and I pretty sure my husband feels the same way. I did my surgery because of the pros. Had I not I would have been dead in 10 years! Divorce is not something I take light hearted and if you are that concerned you really need to sit your spouse down and have some serious talks before surgery.

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I had my surgery on August 4th down 75 pounds so far and think my marriage is still great my husband says I look hot ..love it .. and alot of things are better ..

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My hubby is excited for me to get the surgery because he wants a little one and he wants to create one naturally if you catch my drift so this surgery should help in that department also he wants me to be happy with my body and right now I am not

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I believe if your marriage is strong and your both honest with each other you can survive everything . I have been married almost 25 years and my marriage was never in jeopardy . My log life is strong .

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I think having the surgery two months ago has helped my marriage!! In so many ways! My husband is not over weight and has always been active (we used to be active together). I'm feeling more like my old self, the me before I couldn't lose the baby weight and gained even more. He always tells me, happy wife=happy life!

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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