I've been on this site for about 5 months since having VSG in May 2015. I'm glad to say that I'm almost at goal but I have also been trying to make sure the food decisions I make are the most health conscious ones, trying to eliminate processed foods, GMOs, sugar and beginning to really notice a difference in the way I feel and think. Sometimes I seriously am concerned about the recommendations given by individual members which don't seem to have any consideration of the health factor, most are about the same type of approach that has failed in the past for many of us.

One of the challenges of having this mindset is that some members on this site feels very " married" to their approach, especially if it seems to be " working." If I say anything remote,y controversial as far as my opinion, some very subtle and not so subtle comments are generally posted shortly thereafter. Is this really support? Do others feel that they get shot down when they ask a question? Do some here feel entitled to " inform" newcomers about the " best" way to take care of a problem, for instance, a stall? I've had both good and bad experiences here on BP, but I love having the forum and that is why I am inquiring.

Has anybody out there felt that they couldn't say what they wanted to say because it would be attacked by the more Senior members, pertaining to beliefs about health and weight loss?Please share your experiences.

I mostly see problems arise when a poster says, essentially, "My way is the only right way and all other ways are wrong."

Some people have success through X and then assume that everyone else will have success only through X.

But that's not how it works with nutrition, weight loss, health, and not how it works with most other things in life.

For example, some people walk, others run, cycle, do yoga or Pilates, and some of them fight about the physical and moral superiority of those regimens like they were Baptists, Mormons and Catholics fighting about which of them are true Christians.

Bless their hearts.

I mostly see problems arise when a poster says, essentially, "My way is the only right way and all other ways are wrong."

Some people have success through X and then assume that everyone else will have success only through X.

But that's not how it works with nutrition, weight loss, health, and not how it works with most other things in life.

For example, some people walk, others run, cycle, do yoga or Pilates, and some of them fight about the physical and moral superiority of those regimens like they were Baptists, Mormons and Catholics fighting about which of them are true Christians.

Bless their hearts.

And some of us run AND do yoga! Blasphemers all of us!

But seriously that's a very interesting take on it. And the analogies fit nicely with my own personal style. I do yoga AND run, and my eating style is a mix too of paleo/clean eating and other "religions"

Very good analogy and love the Bless Their Hearts! The internet is not for the faint of heart...lmao

I think it's easy to read into what a given poster means, without the context we usually rely on in person, such as facial expression, tone of voice, body language. It's hard to know the intent of the person behind the words. I hope I don't come across as trying to be a know it all. Sure I know some things about my own nutrition and how to arrive at a goal for myself but that might not work across the board. I dislike personal attacks, but it doesn't destroy me if someone disagrees with me either.

No two people lose weight in the same way. Personally I don't think it's important that we all agree on weight loss techniques. I DO think it matters how we talk to one another whether online or in person. I'm not the antichrist if I believe bread is bad on a diet ( and I do for me) and I don't care if you're cheating on your plan - that's your business. I don't feel the need to be unkind towards anyone in order to feel superior or have the last word. Some folks seem to get off on that, in my experience. Present company excepted.

Let's not mince words here. This whole WLS thing shouldn't just be about what someone chooses to eat to lose the weight. It should be about trying to become the healthiest you can be in the process.

Otherwise, we are just doing another unhealthy crash diet, no?

How invested are you in the idea of healthy weight loss?

@@skinnyrita

this is the initial question/post you stated

so i'm gonna respond to it

others have given great responses to comments about how people talk on this site

i have an opinion

you have an opinion

we are both right

because these are opinions!!!

Completely vested in healthy weight loss !!!

i had MAJOR surgery 4 years ago

didn't want to go through all this in vain!!

I have lost weight over and over and....

then regain the weight

with the "assistance" of the sleeve it will/can be easier to maintain

lots of hard work for the rest of my life, but it CAN be done

i work with the sleeve, and it works for me

if i graze, eat too much, don't follow the rule. i am asking for trouble sob, sob

(to be honest i have regained 6 lbs!!!)

little upset - but i know i will loose that weight sooner than later!!!

no ones perfect (then again )

not having to take many different meds, able to walk easier etc, feeling happy

i have a great new life

keep up the good work

kathy

congrats

So let's pick carbs as an example of topic that is often misinterpeted.. and "judged"

I used to think low carb diets were phoney. I believed in calorie math and just thought that people lost weight on atkins because of the calorie restriction of not being able to eat any of the good foods in life...haha!

My bariatric program didn't limit carbs, but had us focus on Protein and hydration, so "moderate" carbs were the fall out from that. I lost weight quite well still having some bread, potato, oatmeal etc.

So, about 7-8 months post op, my weight loss slowed to a crawl, like 2-3 pounds a month. My hunger had returned too. I still had about 40# to lose and in my eyes I still looked "matronly" although certainly much better and healthier than preop.

this is when I began to really learn how processed carbs affect me. If I eat much bread, Protein Bars, potato, noodles etc I get hungry and i don't lose weight as well. I went to low carb to get to goal. By low carb I mean, I didn't worry about carbs in veggies (didn't eat potato, corn, peas, carrots etc during that time) but otherwise tried to seriously minimize them.

So, when people stall at 6-8 months and wonder why they are so hungry all the time, I share the short version of my personal experience. It doesn't mean it is the only way, but me and many many others have found they needed this to get to goal.

Then, it gets interpeted as though we are preaching something unrealistic. Well, maybe, but it is my reality. I don't want to be obese, I don't want to be hungry all the time. I wish it weren't true, but it is for me. I do drink wine and that is very carb heavy so I don't mean to say that in maintenance I stick to it rigidly because I don't... but... I try to make most meals, most of the time limited in carbs from processed or grain type sources.

Proudgranny I love the way you encourage us all. Thanks for your wisdom and experience. I guess we will all have ups and downs in our weight as we try to maintain progress since the sleeve.

I mostly see problems arise when a poster says, essentially, "My way is the only right way and all other ways are wrong."

Some people have success through X and then assume that everyone else will have success only through X.

But that's not how it works with nutrition, weight loss, health, and not how it works with most other things in life.

Agree ^^^^^^^^^^

That also isn't how it should work with support groups. I am part of a support group through the my surgeons office for people who had WLS through their practice. The same things happen there too. Somebody doesn't agree with someone trying to find an alternative to full fat and full sugar ice cream by means of a low fat, no sugar added option so they climb up on their high horse and carry on about how they did it the hard way and they would never put anything in their body that wasn't ever intended…blah blah blah. But this is not what a support group is about. I ask questions about things and get all kinds of answers. I pull what I can use out of it and go about my business. When I answer a question that has been posted, I am answering what I did or what worked for me, in hopes that maybe that person take my input into consideration with all the other feedback they receive. I never intend for anyone to take my approach and only my approach. We all off a unique perspective, that when offered up for assistance to each other, collectively contributes to the group. We are here for the same purpose. To talk about topics that the people in our lives who have not gone through this cannot offer useful information to us because they have never had to deal with this. That is why I love these support groups. Try not to take each other so seriously, or so literally.

Thanks for your perspective! I think we all bring different experiences which are valuable. Our collective approaches offer options of what works. We should endeavor to bring personal experience from which the viewer or participant can gain ideas. You are a great asset to you support group????thanks for sharing!