I've been on this site for about 5 months since having VSG in May 2015. I'm glad to say that I'm almost at goal but I have also been trying to make sure the food decisions I make are the most health conscious ones, trying to eliminate processed foods, GMOs, sugar and beginning to really notice a difference in the way I feel and think. Sometimes I seriously am concerned about the recommendations given by individual members which don't seem to have any consideration of the health factor, most are about the same type of approach that has failed in the past for many of us.

One of the challenges of having this mindset is that some members on this site feels very " married" to their approach, especially if it seems to be " working." If I say anything remote,y controversial as far as my opinion, some very subtle and not so subtle comments are generally posted shortly thereafter. Is this really support? Do others feel that they get shot down when they ask a question? Do some here feel entitled to " inform" newcomers about the " best" way to take care of a problem, for instance, a stall? I've had both good and bad experiences here on BP, but I love having the forum and that is why I am inquiring.

Has anybody out there felt that they couldn't say what they wanted to say because it would be attacked by the more Senior members, pertaining to beliefs about health and weight loss?Please share your experiences.

Speaking from past experience, I never felt unwelcome on this site. I am a bit against the grain since I am a vegetarian with many food and medication allergies. I try to eat as clean as possible. I am very much against GMO's and processed foods. I use this forum as an informational tool, but I also do my own homework regarding my healthcare. If someone disagrees with me, that fine. I know what things work for me and my body.

The part I am not following is the statement that people who are further out from surgery, like me, aren't interested in good health. Actually, I have a hard time shutting my mouth over the people who dont make the shift away from over processed, fast foods etc. Because clean eating is healthier and more conducive to weight maintenance. Losing weight is easy (for many) but maintenance is the true work. I am not perfect but choose healthy most of the time.

There are plenty of strong opinions on this forum, including yours, and I would like to hear them all. For each of us stating opinions there is a risk others won't agree.

Like you, I think many healthy decisions are personal and dearly held. I'm glad you've had a good experience way here. Way to go Vegan! I'd be interested in knowing more about how to do a Vegan approach ????

Cowgirl Jane thanks for your comment. What I was referring to is the idea that it seems some on BP don't have an open mind about others beliefs and are, unlike you, ready to attack or criticize anyone who shares their personal experience/ beliefs.

Isn't that why we come here? To get advice?

I like to help others but I also am never intimidated into not saying what I want, my approach to my new self applies to me, as each one should be doing so to meet their individual needs, I indulge in sugar in my coffee and lemonade twice a week, and I cheat on my diet once a month, my rule is "go with it if you can use moderation or don't even think about it " the value of this forum is that you can get ideas from almost every spectrum of sex, age, race, and even location, I've learned some things no one had told me prior or even after surgery, I'd say we were safe in taking the things we can use from the information given and filtering out what would not work for us, I just got past my first stall and it didn't even phase me, after being on this forum I realized almost 98% of the peeps on here go through it, I went from 388 in January to 342 on my surgery day June 10th, and got stuck on 284 of awhile, I'm now at 281 and losing again, I didn't change a thing just remained focused and patient, the only negative for me on this forum is encountering "Trollers" from time to time, and I have buddies on here who tell me like it is and they don't sugar coat it, so it's bariatric friendly..... Lmao

I like to help others but I also am never intimidated into not saying what I want, my approach to my new self applies to me, as each one should be doing so to meet their individual needs, I indulge in sugar in my coffee and lemonade twice a week, and I cheat on my diet once a month, my rule is "go with it if you can use moderation or don't even think about it " the value of this forum is that you can get ideas from almost every spectrum of sex, age, race, and even location, I've learned some things no one had told me prior or even after surgery, I'd say we were safe in taking the things we can use from the information given and filtering out what would not work for us, I just got past my first stall and it didn't even phase me, after being on this forum I realized almost 98% of the peeps on here go through it, I went from 388 in January to 342 on my surgery day June 10th, and got stuck on 284 of awhile, I'm now at 281 and losing again, I didn't change a thing just remained focused and patient, the only negative for me on this forum is encountering "Trollers" from time to time, and I have buddies on here who tell me like it is and they don't sugar coat it, so it's bariatric friendly..... Lmao

Laguerre13 I liked your post. Glad to see someone who isn't afraid to color outside the lines

occasionally with diet ! It's a long journey that goes way past getting to a number on the scale isn't it? We have to know ourselves in order to make the best choices we can. I'm not sure what you meant by trolls. Haven't seen that yet- what should I look for?

Mean people suck, and I think that in general there is too much unnecessary roughness on these forums. Let's face it, massive weight loss after having your innards surgically adapted is a big freaking deal. Sometimes people post stuff that strikes me as complete madness and I remind myself that probably alot of us had some nuttiness during this journey. Some of that comes across as rigidness, judgement or more.

There is someone who hasn't posted in years, but who was so incredibly overdramatic about everything from preop on. She had complications and many times a day pelted her misery on these forums. I really felt empathy for her but also found that degree of extreme emotional spewing to be hard to take. Then ,she disappeared. Just gone. Like a year later she posts an update, life at goal, it was all worth it..yadda yardda...sounded great. I realized that was an example that we often get the worst and the best of people on these forums and miss out on the ordinary "in the middle". She probably wasn't the drama queen she seemed to be, she was just going through alot.

Anyway, don't read too much into people's replies. Sometimes they are hurried and terse and seem unfriendly but we all are going through a big deal.

Cowgirl Jane thanks for your comment. What I was referring to is the idea that it seems some on BP don't have an open mind about others beliefs and are, unlike you, ready to attack or criticize anyone who shares their personal experience/ beliefs.

This is an interesting topic. First, everyone isn't in the same frame of mind. Some people just want to lose by any means necessary. Other people find it to hard to give up the social aspects of eating. Telling people to eat clean and cook for themselves seems to be something that is hard for a lot of people to accept.

Recently there was a thread created by someone 2 weeks out from surgery looking for things to eat. Someone suggested wendy's chili. I said that eating fast good right after surgery isn't a good choice. Someone commented that if they are eating out with their kids, they want to eat something. Okay, Wendy's has salad. No one is going to care if you order iced tea and eat a Protein bar while you kids eat. There are a lot of better choices. It didn't go over well, and I admit I lack in the tender delivery area.

Then there was the ice cream milk shake post surgery thread, that people got huffy in because people dared to say that having ice cream while on the liquids stage isn't a good idea.

Everyone is different and has different ideas about what is healthy, even the medical community is split on it. You can't save everyone, some people are just going to drown in their own ignorance. Everyone also has different needs, cultural backgrounds, medical advice, and social issues. People have to find what works for them.

There is never going to be a consensus on what healthy is. Just worry about your self and don't try to be the WLS Messiah to the masses.

Edited October 11, 201510 yr by OutsideMatchInside

@ Skinnyrita : "Trollers" are people who don't really belong to this forum and disrupt it by posting sarcastic or ambiguous posts regarding how they lost hundreds of pounds without surgery or how much they regret having had it, basically those lonely for attention, even if it's negative, they also like to cause problems between peeps on here, in other words they get bored on FB and look to us to amuse themselves

No one ever on this site has made me feel not welcomed. Ever.

I agree with your mentality about eating healthy foods. And to me healthy foods are not "sugar free", "low fat", "fat free." In other words food that has taken out fats, sugars, calories, carbs and added in crap chemicals are not healthy. I would rather lose weight slowly, while taking care of my body than eat crap food because it is low fat, sugar free, fat free or carb free.

I think complex carbs are necessary for many healthy functions including going to the bathroom. So many WLS patients complain about having HORRIBLE constipation after surgery. Screw that, your body NEEDS Fiber and not just fiber found in a "mix" but actual fiber from foods.

There are exceptions like cottage cheese, certain yogurts and cream cheeses that I'll buy low calorie/sugar versions but all in all, I will not eat chemically altered food. There is no reason why ANYONE should.

Please just keep doin you and don't let the detractors deter you... Like others have said here, everyone has a different opinion and most of the time that's a wonderful thing because it makes for a lively, more fully developed discussion on a topic. I know it has helped me immensely to gain insight from differing points of view during this past year here on Bariatric Pal.

Occasionally, someone will disagree and that's okay too... as long as they're respectful. If not, chock it up to what it is... a jerk on the internet that has no place in your head... and keep moving.

Thanks for sharing clean eating and a healthy way to do this journey! I for one, enjoy that type of information and appreciate it! Most of the time I try to eat this way... sometimes I eat a little less healthy, and yes, there are days I'm in a hurry with no pre-planned lunch and a fast food chicken taco or salad is my lunch. Live and let live.

Edited October 11, 201510 yr by Debbieduck4

No one ever on this site has made me feel not welcomed. Ever.

I agree with your mentality about eating healthy foods. And to me healthy foods are not "sugar free", "low fat", "fat free." In other words food that has taken out fats, sugars, calories, carbs and added in crap chemicals are not healthy. I would rather lose weight slowly, while taking care of my body than eat crap food because it is low fat, sugar free, fat free or carb free.

I think complex carbs are necessary for many healthy functions including going to the bathroom. So many WLS patients complain about having HORRIBLE constipation after surgery. Screw that, your body NEEDS fiber and not just fiber found in a "mix" but actual fiber from foods.

........

AMEN to this. I am amazed at the folks who are constipated but refuse to add any healthy fiber to their diets. I refuse to constantly take laxatives and potions when adding a bit of flax powder to my yogurt will work just as well and much more naturally.

I have been on this forum for two years, from August 2013. One thing I like to tell newcomers is to be aware that opinions and tact will vary. Take what you need and throw away the rest. I think for the most part the 80/20 rule applies to the advice on this forum. That is 80% will be valuable and useful information and 20% will be crazy crap from hell.

I can't stand the trollers who stalk this site with commercials for whatever product or device they are selling. There have been a lot lately and a waste of our time.