Hello and good morning my friends. Welcome to Banders #7. So, I guess I'll start it off by saying how grateful I am today and every day for the new lease on life that I have. I walked to the office today from the train station. That was something I couldn't do before the surgery. I always say how light I feel and I realized it's not a state of mind, but a physical reality. We are weighed down by the excess weight and all that goes with it. When we don't rumble and jumble as we walk, our steps are lighter. I was listening to my ipod and started to dance a little as I was walking. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but who cares? When one is thin, even looking ridiculous seems OK.

I am grateful for my for my beautiful grandson who I was able to tuck into my lap last Saturday morning so we could play while Mommy and Daddy got to sleep in a bit. I'm grateful that I fit anywhere and everywhere. No more worrying if I will break a chair, or be able to navigate a booth at the restaurant, or walk down a narrow aisle without having to suck it all in just to get past someone/something.

I'm grateful for my health. I take alot of pills, but many of them are supplements and not prescription for chronic ailments. I'm grateful that I can walk again...that I can swim, bike, climb, and yes....enjoy sex. I am surprised at how flexible I can be now that I'm thin.

I'm grateful that I earn enough money that I can indulge my new found love of shopping. I really think I'm one of the best dressed ladies in the office these days...and I know I've upped the game for others. I am definitely seeing more dresses than I did a year ago.

I'm grateful to Alex for having this site available...and I'm grateful to all the folks on it who are part of my success. I know I would not have been as successful as I have been if not for all of you. I talk about things here that I don't talk to anyone else about. You all know the struggles of being fat, and immobile, and feeling like a failure regardless of what we've accomplished..and I know now how much we 'hidden' people have accomplished. It's helping me to not turn that self hatred towards others still struggling with obesity. It also reminds me that I will always struggle with obesity. Under this thin person still lurks the fat girl. She is the one who whispers in my ear all the time that I'm not worthy of the good things out there and I should just order a pizza and eat the whole thing. She and I clash daily and it's why I still go every Tuesday to the therapist who listens and helps me to navigate this new world I inhabit.

Well...I think I've posted enough for today. Feel free to comment on the above, or share your stories, or say hi, or just lurk. Enjoy your day today...enjoy the upcoming holiday, and looking forward to a wonderfully robust Banders #7 thread.

Liz

...and I am going to have the conversation with the NP next week to discuss having my first fill. I am struggling and have been for a while now.

When I talked to my therapist last night, she helped me realize that I'm hungry. It's not stress eating...it's not head hunger...it's real hunger. I ate dinner last night and as often happens, was hungry soon after. I had a hard boiled egg instead of crap (as she suggested) and it filled me up without the guilt.

All I know is that I'm not necessarily looking to get back down to 112 lbs. which was my lowest weight, but I'm finding myself in the 121-124 lb. range and that's just not acceptable.

I guess this means I won't be a 'fill virgin' for much longer...

OK just wandering how your Halloween was this year , post those pictures if you dressed up or did you get to go to any parties , I missed out on some bands & being able to dance because I had to work but through FB & some other sites my friends posted their stuff so I could see & make me jealous because they know this is one of my favorite days of the year.

wasn't really in Halloween mood but managed to get something together, had a group of friends invite me to a get together .

keep trying to post my picture just not good at it..

OK just wandering how your Halloween was this year , post those pictures if you dressed up or did you get to go to any parties , I missed out on some bands & being able to dance because I had to work but through FB & some other sites my friends posted their stuff so I could see & make me jealous because they know this is one of my favorite days of the year.

Didn't dress up but I always Celebrate Halloween as the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade passes by my building and I get a bird's eye view. I attached a picture from my living room window. I also attached a picture of myself taken earlier that day with a statue of Dante behind me. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but Dante's Inferno is sort of Halloween-ish, right? Hope you all had a fun day 'trick or treating'.

Hello one and all! Hope you're all doing well. I've gotten pretty bad about checking in here. I have a new position at work and seems to suck up any and all 'free' time I had. How dare these people expect me to work during a work day.

Anyway, all is good here and living life...

Hello one and all! Hope you're all doing well. I've gotten pretty bad about checking in here. I have a new position at work and seems to suck up any and all 'free' time I had. How dare these people expect me to work during a work day.

Anyway, all is good here and living life...

Hi Jim! Glad to see you again. Glad things are good.

OK friends...I'm getting a fill next Friday. I know this sounds silly but I feel a little like a failure for needing a fill after all this time. I'll get over it...just wanted you all to know what's going on in this dopey head of mine.

@@Jim1967 hi there! Hasn't this been the most amazing New England autumn in years and years? Glad to hear you are doing well.

@@gowalking I remember in my first weeks banded thinking I would be some one who would not require a fill because I felt the dimness of my appetite already. But of course that early on it was just the inflammation from the surgery, etc. But I get that quirky voice inside! You are doing great. Why be hungry when you have a way to shut that down.

In other news, today is my second year Bandaversary. I think I'll go write up a general post. Hard to believe, geesh. Time has gone by very quickly.

@@gowalking Come meet me and I'll give you a few slaps that will get you over it fast

You are SOOO not a failure! Wish that I could have done as well as you have even with all my fills I still struggle with myself!!

Wacko mind...hmmm maybe it's a NY thing...IDK. I still can't get my mind around my eating. Truth be told. I am working on it...as I am with so many other things.

I have read on here so many times nothing tastes as good as skinny feels and all I can say is HA!!! For me...give me the dam pumpkin pie because who cares about the skinny jeans?!

Maybe because I was thin as a kid...maybe because I don't hate myself the way I look...? I don't know what it is friends....but I am not so "motivated" to be skinny or to lose weight. Does that make me bad?

I love me...the only reason I find to lose weight or be less FAT is because it's not healthy. For my heart, for my lungs, or my joints. OK all that said...I would still rather eat what the hell I want to eat and when. Do I make healthier choices of food...yes I try to. Do I hate myself for eating "badly"? Nope.

For those of you that might drink...do you hate yourself for that one extra glass of what ever that gave you a headache the next day? Or did you have a great time?

Do you regret buying shoes, pants, shirts, or what ever you love in more than one color?

Is it all about losing weight....? Or is it about being the best "ME" I can be? No matter if that me is a size 2 or a size 14....?

Come on group...help me out with my brain twisting thoughts...and maybe that will help with my stress levels which is really what's eating me most of the time

W

OK friends...I'm getting a fill next Friday. I know this sounds silly but I feel a little like a failure for needing a fill after all this time. I'll get over it...just wanted you all to know what's going on in this dopey head of mine.

Hi Gowalking,

I just had a fill, my first in almost a year. I did have a slight unfill about a month ago and starting gaining a bit. You are definitely not a failure. Following up with your doctor's office means you are in charge. Good luck.

Greetings my fellow bandsters! It's Monday...oh what a fun day!! Liz how did the fill go?

This weekend I decided I needed a change, and though I would shake things up some. So I went to the salon and had my hair dyed red. It's not the first time...but it's been a while since I've had it red. This color...though is a new "trendy" color RED. It is very bright and vibrant. Needless to say it threw my hubs for a loop...and yes the first day it was reminding me a bit of a crayola crayon....but I'm growing to really love it.

I didn't get my nose pierced although I keep threatening to do so...you never know...it could happen I like the way it looks....but not so sure how I would like it on myself. Hubs tells me it's not "professional"...but OK what is that today anyway....? Do you think the old standards, of buttoned up no tattoos and no visible piercing besides ears for ladies is still the "norm" in professionalism? What do you think....?

Looks like hubs got over it.....

Fill is this coming Friday Lisa. Still wide open..lol.

Good luck tomorrow, Liz. Lisa, it's adorable.