Feeling left out

[nikkimapr 177]

Boss took whole office to lunch today of course they choose chinese buffet. Therefore I am not joining rest of office for lunch as there isn't healthy Protein options at chinese buffet???? I know I am making better choice for me but feeling isolated.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

If I am eating where Chinese food is the only option, I go for the Steak and Pepper Lo-Mein and don't eat the noodles. I will let a fortune cookie be my dessert, but just one. Miss Tummy can't handle more than one. And no more crab rangoons. (Darn!)

[Elode 8,093]

You could pick out the meat. I'm sure you know that so I admire your willpower to not! Chinese food is one of my favorites but it's still loaded with sodium, hidden sugar ect.... That's probably why I like it! You made a smart choice. If you do ever go just order some egg drop Soup.

[nikkimapr 177]

I am only 9 weeks post op and and knew that was a danger zone. I agree so much sodium and sugars in the sauces so I chose what was best for me. Only 2 places I don't even dare chinese and BBQ joints (being as I am in sc). Sometimes I think Co workers think it's a no brained to jump up go to lunch but for us it does take thought. I think they sometimes just think I am being difficult as they don't see what's so hard about going to lunch.

[TakeitorSleeveit 124]

My local Chinese buffett has peel and eat shrimp on the salad bar. I have found that my new tummy is very very happy with shrimp. And it's lean and healthy.

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@nikkimapr

WOW can I relate !

My FIRST day back at work after my sleeve surgery ... The boss bought the office pizza ... and asked ME to set it up in the conference room!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY!??!?!

I just gave him a look like "what planet are you on"?

So it comes ... I take all of it ( which was A LOT ) to the conference room ... had to use a cart because I couldn't lift at that time ... set it all up ... sound the horn for all to come and eat ... (like cattle) ... ( and needless to say ... I didn't have the energy of an ant ... so I had to push myself to even do this )

Then he comes over to me about 30 mins later and asks ... "aren't you going to eat?" ... ugh.

I had to remind him I just had surgery ... he slapped his forehead and said " oh I'm sorry , I forgot" ...

How could you forget? I was just out for 3 weeks! Didn't you miss me?

So not only did I feel left out ... but I felt invisible.

Sometimes people just go about their daily lives with blinders on ...

[McButterpants 2,846]

So early out - I don't blame you. I probably wouldn't have gone either. Don't worry, you will eventually be able to go. I can go to a Chinese buffet and enjoy the BBQ chicken, beef w/ broccoli, stuff like that. I just take really small portions - if anyone asks I say, "I'm not that hungry" or "I had a big breakfast"

I can tell you, at nearly 2 years out...I still run into the same problem. Some co-workers and I went to an all you can eat southern food place - fried green tomatoes, red velvet cake, cornbread, fried okra, beef stew, fried chicken..OK - ALMOST EVERYTHING WAS FRIED!!!!!! Two years ago, I would have been in heaven. Now? Not so much. Luckily, this place has what they call a Blue Plate Special - you get one trip only and no dessert. It was like it was put on the menu just for me! I get a little bit of lots of things. My co-workers say "Is that all you're going to eat?" Yep, I only get one trip and I want to try a little bit of everything! No more discussion - they are too busy with their third trip to the buffet.

It will get better, I promise! Short term pain for long term gain..

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

As others have mentioned, you should be able to eat at the Chinese buffet, but you have to choose carefully.

Our local buffet usually has fish and shrimp. My sister-in-law is Chinese and previous to my surgery when we all went to the buffet I always marveled at her tiny portions. She usually got fish.

The good thing about the buffet is you can pick and choose and focus on the Proteins.

[Babbs 14,680]

You will learn to adapt. Actually, there are lots of choices on a Chinese buffet! Soup, mussles, shrimp, chicken, egg fu yong....

I don't think I have EVER eaten at a restaurant where I couldn't find SOMETHING to eat. You'll learn to get a little more creative and adaptable as time goes on. Hang in there!

[McButterpants 2,846]

I agree with @@Babbs above...you can always find something. I've become an "insides" eater...Tacos - eat the meat, cheese and veggies. Got a sandwich? I eat a couple of bites like a regular sammy, then move the inside where the meat, cheese and veggies are (too much bread makes me feel sick). I ordered a Philly Sandwich without the bun the other day and my co-worker looked at me oddly. I said, "I'm doing low carb" Good enough, he didn't say anything else.

One thing I've realized in the past couple of years - people don't pay as much attention to me as I thought they did...it was all in my head and my own self-confidence issues. :-)

[WL WARRIOR 690]

I agree with McButterpants. Over time, I've realized that almost all people are egocentric. They really care mostly about themselves. You may feel anxious that others are noticing how little you eat, but it really can be all in your head. You can't be a mind reader and most other people have other things on their mind than you and what you are eating.

As far as restaurant eating with others, I've learned to change the "left out feeling" to a sense of empowerment. I can choose healthy food in small quantities and not be tempted by dessert or crab ragoons. Focus on the positives of this eating out experience. You stuck to your plan and are on your way to success.

[krista132 213]

Yes, I agree with everyone else. It is about learning what you can eat in every scenario. The first couple of weeks, I isolated myself too and then I realized I still wanted to have a life. I love going out to restaurants, bars etc. I just choose much differently now. Healthy foods and a lot of time I will just have Water. But, to me, it means being able to go out and have a good time still. I feel more alive now so didn't want to miss out on everything!

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

Agree with @@WL WARRIOR. Even people you tell you had surgery forget 5 minutes later. Just focus on what you need and not the others. In time you will be able to make better choices and find something everywhere you go.

If the restaurant is a trigger food for you and you still want to abstain then do what you feel is best for you cos you are the only one who matters.

Good luck!!

[nikkimapr 177]

@nikkimapr

WOW can I relate !

My FIRST day back at work after my sleeve surgery ... The boss bought the office pizza ... and asked ME to set it up in the conference room!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY!??!?!

I just gave him a look like "what planet are you on"?

So it comes ... I take all of it ( which was A LOT ) to the conference room ... had to use a cart because I couldn't lift at that time ... set it all up ... sound the horn for all to come and eat ... (like cattle) ... ( and needless to say ... I didn't have the energy of an ant ... so I had to push myself to even do this )

Then he comes over to me about 30 mins later and asks ... "aren't you going to eat?" ... ugh.

I had to remind him I just had surgery ... he slapped his forehead and said " oh I'm sorry , I forgot" ...

How could you forget? I was just out for 3 weeks! Didn't you miss me?

So not only did I feel left out ... but I felt invisible.

Sometimes people just go about their daily lives with blinders on ...

during my 2 week pre op shakes my 2 bosses asked me 2 different times to go pick up Breakfast for office since I was 1st one to office those mornings. I told them they would have to send someone else, not in my best interest and with them knowing I was having my surgery didn't feel it was considerate of them. So know how you feel.

[WL WARRIOR 690]

I don't see it really as other people being inconsiderate. In life, you will be in situations when cravings are triggered. It's going to happen A LOT. These situations (like getting Breakfast for everyone) are great practice for proving that you can make cravings go away. The more practice you have at resisting, the easier it gets. You have to be very decisive and tell yourself that you will absolutely not eat your trigger food. If you see it as unfair or sabotaging, then you may end up caving in.

Dr. Beck refers to it as strengthening your resistance muscle and weakening your giving in muscle. I learned early on that I can not expect others to change what they normally do regarding food when I'm around. I was the one who decided have surgery and lose weight. Therefore, it is I that must learn the skills and strategies of resisting any tempting food that isn't on my food plan.

Edited August 21, 2015 by WL WARRIOR