Passing For Thin - Support Thread for Those Approaching Goal

[Chickie 15]

I can't tell you how thrilled I am that you started this thread. I need to hear from those who are nearing goal and those who are at goal in the biggest way possible right now. I am focusing on all the negs right now and I don't see any positives. I think I thought losing weight would cure everything. While most of my issues are weight related, losing weight still doesn't cure everything. I didn't realize any of this until this thread. It is so therapeutic for me to read here. This very thread does more for me than I have words to express.

I know you were talking to Julie, but this struck me.

So many people DO see weight loss as a cure for all their problems. You know the "If only I were 150lbs, my life would be perfect" thing. I often wonder how many of us felt this in the beginning?

I know for my monies worth, I felt this way for about 6 months post op. I knew, realistically that it was insane to think that way, but I couldn't help but wonder how wonderful my life would be when I was skinny.

As my weight dropped, all that happened was my health improved, and my clothes shrank. I still had the same (wonderful) husband and son. I still did basicly the same thing every day, and I realised that while my life did to an extent revolve around being fat, I actually had a really good life. I have a wonderful husband, and son, I have a beautiful home, nice car, all the material stuff I could ask for, and some cool hobbies.

I finally realised that I did have a wonderful life, despite being fat. I just let being large cloud the way I saw my life. I thought I was so hard done by. Boo Hoo. My biggest problems (outside my heath, that really was a train wreck) was having to shop in the plus size department, and pay slightly more than the skinny chicks!

I guess my point is,my life is really good. Everyone in my family is healthy, happy, and we all love each other. And we always had that. It just took time for me to wake up and realise that.

Yeah, I tend to drone on... You are all regretting letting me in now, aren't you!?!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I know you were talking to Julie, but this struck me.

So many people DO see weight loss as a cure for all their problems. You know the "If only I were 150lbs, my life would be perfect" thing. I often wonder how many of us felt this in the beginning?

But... thing is, even my weight related issues are not improving because I don't see any goals being met. I don't feel thinner, I don't THINK thinner. I feel fat, I am fat, I think fat. That is what I was referring to.

As my weight dropped, all that happened was my health improved, and my clothes shrank. I still had the same (wonderful) husband and son. I still did basicly the same thing every day, and I realised that while my life did to an extent revolve around being fat, I actually had a really good life. I have a wonderful husband, and son, I have a beautiful home, nice car, all the material stuff I could ask for, and some cool hobbies.

Yep, I relate to this. I have more than most, I should be bloody thankful. I'm not. I'm bored bored bored. I want a normal life, I crave a normal life but I don't know what that is and I struggle to gain something when I don't know what I am looking for. Maybe I already have it, I really don't know.

I finally realised that I did have a wonderful life, despite being fat. I just let being large cloud the way I saw my life. I thought I was so hard done by. Boo Hoo. My biggest problems (outside my heath, that really was a train wreck) was having to shop in the plus size department, and pay slightly more than the skinny chicks!

Maybe this is my issue, I don't really know for sure.

Yeah, I tend to drone on... You are all regretting letting me in now, aren't you!?!

Yeah, about that. You aren't getting by that easy. You came, you posted, you are here for the duration of the thread. Like it or not.

[Chickie 15]

Its a little different for me - I am approaching the goal I have set myself. But I look in the mirror and think wow if I lose any more weight I am going to need some major work done on my body. Chickie, I do not mean ANY offence at all, but I look at the pics of you before your tummy surgery and I KNOW thats what I will look like in 25lbs+ less time. And I don't want to look like that. I can't afford to get that fixed. So I've kind of stalled my weightloss in a subconscious kind of way to figure out how I can move forward from here emotionally and mentally - How/if I can live with my body looking like that. Will it be so bad if I hover around 170 for the rest of my life like I am now? I mean I'm still techincally overweight, but I'm in better shape and fitter than I ever have been

None taken. I didn't like the way I looked before my TT. I am so much happier with my body now than I was at goal weight, but with a huge pannus.

Remember too, that while we are similar in age, I have had one twin pregnancy, and a singleton pregnancy. So my stomach really was a mess, not only from being MO for so long, but because I was a flipping TWIG when I got pregnant with the twins, and just popped out. That messed with my stomach as badly as being overweight. It may not be as bad as you think.

But... thing is, even my weight related issues are not improving because I don't see any goals being met. I don't feel thinner, I don't THINK thinner. I feel fat, I am fat, I think fat. That is what I was referring to.

Yeah, about that. You aren't getting by that easy. You came, you posted, you are here for the duration of the thread. Like it or not.

I know its hard, but you have to believe you are thin. It took looking at my before, and during photos on a weekly basis to see the results I was getting. I couldn't look in the mirror and see a skinny chick. Some days I still look in the mirror and think I look fat. But then, being the sarcastic bitch I am, I think to my self, unless I am 3 foot tall, there is no way on God's green earth that I am fat.

Maybe you need to go over all your photo's from your highest ever weight, and compare them with one's taken in the last few weeks? It sounds so simple, but it really does help.

So this thread is like the Mafia? You can't leave alive?

[Jachut 487]

I feel the same way. I really dont have noticeable skin issues now in the low 170's at 5ft 10. Oh, yeah, my stomach is a little crepey but I've had 3 big babies and I'm about to turn 40. No batwings.

My thighs, well nature didnt bless me with great thighs. I'm a pear shape, I have a droopy bottom, saddle bags and cellulite and I know for a fact that if I had those on the day I got married at 160lb, then they'll be there again if I hit that weight.

Also, I find this weight right now, which is *just* inside the top of my healthy weight range, easily maintainable. I dont even have to think about it.

I cant help imagining another 10kgs will make ALL the difference, then I"ll be really hot. In reality I'll probably be sickly gaunt up top and still a little flabby down below. I was always a bit sceptical about bandsters making goals that were still overweight but I can see the sense in making achievable goals now. And yeah, PS is not something I could afford, heck we're about to start paying private school fees next year, we've struggled despite a 6 figure income all our married lives becuase of our stupid stupid stupid decision to build a new home in an outer suburb (poor capital growth) and accidentally get pregnant with a third child, lol. Even when I return to work, it wouldnt be happening. I'd have to live with whatever state I"m in, which really wont be terribly bad, but still.

My life though, no my problems havent gone away. We really had a tough start and despite the big income, we're still playing catch up. Oh yeah, nice cars, niceish house but its a struggle to really get secure, you know? We thought we'd be miles from here by our 40's. But I cope a lot better, we live a lot better becuase I"m more organised and energetic, the mess, the disorganisation, that's all disappeared. But I still have terrible hair, lol, I still have to spend half an hour with blow dryer and straightener every single morning!

[JulieNYC 4]

Its a little different for me - I am approaching the goal I have set myself. But I look in the mirror and think wow if I lose any more weight I am going to need some major work done on my body.

I'm so glad this topic came up. I had a pretty major freak-out over this issue last night. Like an actual panic attack. It was the first time I'd felt this way -- like maybe I don't want to lose any more weight because I know I can live with my body and its imperfections now, but if my legs get any worse, I don't know how I'll deal with that.

This freak-out occurred because I'd read there were a bunch of pre/post PS pics over on obestiyhelp.com's plastics forum. I'd never spent much time there, so I figured I'd go check it out. Well, I didn't get past the first page. I hit on the pics of a girl who lost exactly what I will have lost -- to the pound -- at goal. It freaked me out. (For those who don't know me, keep in mind I'm approaching the 200 lb lost marker, so don't let my fears scare you if you didn't start in the "super obese" category.) If I'm going to look like that in 30 more pounds, I just don't know that that's what I want. I think I may look better now that she does after her PS. And her PS looked horrifically painful. Now, I'm already post-TT/BL and it wasn't so bad. But the leg surgery looks AWFUL (in terms of the recovery). I'll go through it if I have to, but I don't think I look SO bad now, where I fear for what I'll look like, even post-op, at "goal."

The thing is, it's just a freak-out -- it's not reality. The reality is, though she and I have similar body types and weight loss numbers, when I look at my skin compared to hers, my skin is just in a lot better condition. Yes, I have stretch marks in some places and a fair amount of loose skin, but her skin was pocked all over with stretch marks. And she was probably 10 years older than I am, and she was a bypass patient (I think malabsorption has something to do with skin condition). Her PS was good, and she looks wonderful for where she came from -- it just really freaked me out, as you can tell.

So, the end of the story is that I woke up this morning and had dropped 3 lbs overnight (that's my pattern, nothing then a big jump). I still celebrated. And, I'm still going all the way for goal. BRING IT ON.

[JulieNYC 4]

As my weight dropped, all that happened was my health improved, and my clothes shrank. I still had the same (wonderful) husband and son. I still did basicly the same thing every day, and I realised that while my life did to an extent revolve around being fat, I actually had a really good life. I have a wonderful husband, and son, I have a beautiful home, nice car, all the material stuff I could ask for, and some cool hobbies.

It's going to be my goal today and over the days to come to try and identify more with what Chickie is saying here. Part of me can appreciate that already. I, too, will do basically the same thing every day that I did a year ago. My profession is still rewarding and lucrative. I travel to nice places. I have a good relationship with my parents and siblings. I have a great best friend and enjoy my hobbies (sewing and scuba diving).

The part I still have to work on is mourning the part of my 20s where I let my obesity get me off track with developing relationships with men. It's not that I'm oh so old (I'm 34) that I can't still have a family of my own, but it's more that my body and my mind/life experience don't match up right now. Meaning, I'm a 34 year old woman. But I have the life experience, men wise, of an 18 year old. And, sometimes, I act like an 18 year old in my new body, and I don't like acting like that.

OK, this is all the emotional work I can do for now. I'm going out for a walk. It's a beautiful day in NYC and I'm going to go put on a size 8 red dress and head out to explore the city.

[Boo 3]

Julie! I just noticed your ticker!!!!!!

WOOHOO!!! I'm looking for some of those dancing bananas that you love so much....

:Banane10::Banane09::Banane43::banana :Banane10::Banane09::Banane43::banana

Remember that I predicted you would pass me up? Well, I'm still jogging here at 160, so run fast and you'll pass me very soon!!!

[JulieNYC 4]

Remember that I predicted you would pass me up? Well, I'm still jogging here at 160, so run fast and you'll pass me very soon!!!

Nope, not gonna happen. Your body has GOT to cave soon and I'm pretty sure mine's done losing for the month (I lose great the week after my cycle, then nothing or piddly amounts the rest of the month).

How tall are you, Boo? It just doesn't seem right that you've been on this plateau for so long, with all the working out you do. Have you tried shaking up your diet for a day or two (whether eatine more, less, or different foods -- I don't know) and see if that helps?

I ran 11 miles today. I was SLOW but it wasn't too bad. I'm definitely the tortus, but the distances aren't killing me yet, so maybe I'll win the race.

I'm feeling better about the body image stuff. I think it was flipping into the 160s. To me, that's a completely normal weight. I probably feel that way because the least I've weighed since high school was in the 170s. I felt good there, but I would have still checked the "fat" box and not the "thin" box, given a binary choice. 160 is not "thin" at 5'2, but it seems completely normal to me. More thin than fat. Normal is good. It's just so odd that my head got wonky there for a minute.

[Jachut 487]

Julie, how do you motivate yourself to run that far? I know I'm fit enough to do it and I'd like to do a half marathon, but 10kms (7 miles or so) is just about as much as I can tolerate before I almost fall alseep from boredom. The first part of a run passes quickly, but then as you hit your stride and settle into the comfortable pace, I get sooooo bored. The thought of going out and running 18kms as a training run, I just dont know how I'd get through it.

[guysis 0]

I'm back in the exercise grove! Did my NIA class Sat & Sun morning - both classes extra tough and I'm sore - haven't been to the gym since last Sunday - walked but with Alan that is not exactly strenuous - he lags a bit - now that I'm feeling better going to try that walk, jog thingy!

Well, food goes down way too good now! I have no Fluid in my band - what a difference. Going up to get filled up again on the 16th - going to go slow this time - I don't want to be that tight again!

Julie, you are a stud! You and Boo passed me up (my ticker says 167, but it lies sometimes - I only change it when I go down but don't tell anyone - it's actually hovering just above 170 ish)..............you are twins and I'm fat! Today is my fat feeling day - and I'm a bit scared because of the open band.............how I've learned to rely on this helper (another thing to worry about!).

A great week to all.

[JulieNYC 4]

Jachut, I break the run up into segments and I always run the middle part of a long run somewhere I've never run before. So, I run about 2 miles, then I listen to music for about 4 miles, then I run through somewhere I've never seen before (there are several hundred trails in Central Park, so I won't run out anytime soon -- I found an English Garden today that I didn't know existed -- felt like I was in Europe for a minute) for about 3 miles, then I listen to music again until I'm home. Plus, I get to eat one single serving of Skittles when I'm running a long run (pure carbs needed after mile 7), so I'm usually (sadly) pretty excited about that, which keeps me going for a few miles too (sad that Skittles still make me happy). I actually like the long runs more than the short ones. I'm slow, but I feel my best around mile 8, where I think most people feel that rush around mile 3.

Betty, I do the same thing with my ticker. It says my lowest, unless I've really done something to merit gaining, then I'll adjust it upwards. Otherwise, it's too demoralizing to change it one day, retain a pound of Water despite a perfect diet the next, and have to up the ticker. Nope. Not the rules I play by. I'm so glad you're back to your NIA and feeling better with no fill. Get in your exercise as you have been, take it easy with the food and stay accountable to the scale and you'll be fine. I feel your sentiments about being scared how much we rely on the band. I think about that with all my PS planned. Like, what happens if I lose my band? Because it's a certainty I'd gain. I do have a plan though. If, heaven forbid I ever lose my band and can't be rebanded, I'm converting to a vertical sleeve. Hopefully it'll never happen though.

Traveling on business tomorrow and Tue, but will check in with you all when I get home.

Nite.

[jewel 0]

Hi All,

I have recently experienced a 'cure' of my weight related co-morbidities. It seemed to happen over night. I kept cutting my BP meds smaller and smaller until I just couldn't take them anymore. I was too dizzy and had a headache when I stood. So, I called my doc and told her I can't take this med anymore. Then, the next day, I was in a meeting and was feeling washed out and I thought maybe my blood sugar is getting too low, so I stopped both my Bp and diabetic meds, went to the doc for a check. My bp was 112/60 with no meds in over a week. I was amazed, I never really thought it would happen, never thought I could lose 50lb, never have. The doc doing my screening before surgery said, Oh yea, you'll come off these meds, no problem, but it's hard to just accept that as fact, till it happens and I feel blessed, beyond words, that it has.

Now, I was just home, and no one said, without prompting, You look great! I'm kind of embarrassed by all the praise, but if I don't get it, I wonder. I need that constant stroking. It's difficult to accept this change as just normal, this is the way I am every day thing, but I'm working on that. Plus I'm dealing with just the changes of aging. I have a lot of loose skin, but it's not all from weight loss, but aging, too. I'm planning a consult soon with PS. I may wait a couple of years for things like TT/Batwings. I keep telling myself, I need to do the exercise thing, I know I do, but that's another battle.

I'm enjoying the size I am now. The head/body fine tuning is coming.

Jewel

Dr. Ortiz/9/13/06

218/165/g145

[Moe661 0]

I’m glad i read this today because i thought i was the only one with these issues. I started at 360 now down to 227 and still losing. My first weight goal was 220 i told myself if i can get to 220 i will not push myself any harder, but now my new goal is 180 because i still feel heavy and look the same... yes the scale is going down and the sizes have went from a 4X to a medium but i still don’t see that in the mirror, so now I am asking myself if I get to 180 will I set a new goal like 160? And so on? Is that normal? ahhh to many questions

[Boo 3]

Moe661, I can sure relate to that. The original "if only I could get down to ..." has morphed into a desire to be lean and fit.

Julie, I am 5'6". And to be honest, my weight was at 160 for one day in May, and then the weight started climbing up to 166. So now it took me some time to get back to 161. Like Betty, I leave the ticker alone, unless I LOSE! While my weight looks normal, I delivered my babies in the 160's. My natural frame is a skinny girl with curves.

Changing up the diet is a good idea. I have depleted myself, though by not eating enough. The times I lose now are when I drink Protein shakes for two meals. What's up with that??

NSV: Pulled out an old short and tight-fitting skirt just "to see" what it would take to squeeze in. Eyeballing it I thought there was no way to get it over my hips. But it slid right up and zipped with no effort. When I looked in the mirror and turned around, there it was...a huge sagging rear of fabric! HAHAHA! The skirt is now in my "FAT CLOTHES" PILE. cAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

And someone mentioned how their body felt when running (I'll find that post, cause I loved it so much). Well, I love how I feel, but also I love to see my shadow. I run in the evening, and my shadow looks really pretty, especially compared to the old one.

Oh yeah, and Julie, "WONKY" is one of my favorite adjectives! I laugh every time I say or hear it. haha

Have a great week everyone!

Good to hear from Jacqui and the newcomers!

[Boo 3]

Its sooooo good to focus on your athletic achievements. OK so running through my head is a fantasy that I actually look the way I feel when I run, but that feeling is real and its how YOU feel that counts, really, not how you look to others. As long as you feel great about yourself you could be green and spotty with nose hair, it just doesnt matter. I cant believe the self esteem I've gained from running.

Oh, it WAS Jachut!

Those ideas now "run" through my head often. Your wisdom is greatly appreciated!