Jump to content
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Being a Big Guy and Dating

Recommended Posts

I love gowalking's suggestion, GREAT IDEA. Meet people in your situation, and make it work for both of you. Walks, gym, biking ect.....

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites


I dated successfully at 305. I get many more dating opportunities at 222. I am convinced that women have have evolved senses to seek out healthy mates (basic reproductive needs). Even if kids are not the goal, that shapes most of our tastes and attraction. (Read "Why Women Have Sex" by Cindy M. Meston)

But outside appearance aside is what the weight loss did to me on the inside. I took control of my health, which gave me more confidence, and confidence is sexy and attractive to women. So get your head right before you write your profile. Do NOT ever say I'm lonely, want a friend...with online dating its sales. So sell yourself as "I am starting an adventure and there is no turning back, want to join me..." Project lots of confidence and that will be attractive to women.

I have some posts on this site on how to do online dating better. Let me know if you have any questions. Google dating, there are many jerks who have sites about how to sleep with women, but just because their motives are bad, doesn't mean their insights into how to attract women are necessarily wrong. One guy who I find morally repugnant had a great tip...make a goal to approach 25 women a day, and make notes about each one. His point was the only way to get confident is to practice.

One important note...make a list of the qualities that YOU want. Yes you want love, but create a profile of the woman you want in your life. What will she look like, what does she like to do, what is her job, what is her personality, intelligence. Until you do that, you are shooting in the dark. You have to have the confidence to say "look you are a nice person, and you will be a perfect match for someone, but not me."

Confidence is not free. It takes work to get it. But it is a skill that can be developed. You are on a new path, congrats on the weight loss so far, and it will only get better. If you plan and prepare before you act, you will do better.

One other note, you will cope with your feelings of loneliness better IF you have a plan of action. I can do without many things if I have some hope there will be something better down the road.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Featured Surgeons

    1. Masoud Rezvani

      Woodbridge, Virginia 22191

    2. Lisa Medvetz

      Downingtown, Pennsylvania 19335

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • christa_reid

      Hi I  am new here and I am going to have the gastric sleeve next month. I have to pay out of pocket so it is going quite quickly. The longer I wait the more bad stories I hear. I weigh 315 and 61 years old so I have a lot to lose. Any advice is welcome
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ProudGrammy

      Georgia on my mind - off to grand-daughters high school graduation - she's smart and cute as a button, just like her grammy,☺️
      · 2 replies
      1. SusieQ2019

        Congratulations to her Proud Granny, and wishing her a bright and successful future.

      2. Orchids&Dragons

        Congrats to your granddaughter! Have a wonderful trip!

    • *Meaghan*

      Went to my initial consult with the Bariatric surgeon/ program I chose. Came home with a folder full of information & helpful organization of all the testing that needs to be completed while I complete the required nutritional counseling. She also let me know my insurance typically takes 6 weeks to reply with authorization when submitted, so that puts my potential surgery date near the new year if all stays on track  I felt comfortable with her, in our discussions she agrees that I am a good candidate for the Gastric Bypass. I appreciated the 'introduction' class that was given after the consult with the surgeon where I was given this binder of every referral (from her, not my pcp referrals), & contact information for all the testing needed to make my contacts/calls tomorrow morning even easier I start my nutrition classes on June 5th, so that's when the clock will start toward insurance approval & getting the tool to help me reach my goals
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Torie Faye

      I had my Bypass Surgery on 04/25/2019 I'd weighted before surgery 308 and now 285. I get depressed because I thought it would be more. I follow all instructions from Dr.. Green walk every day work out and eating solid foods 
      · 1 reply
      1. ProudGrammy

        welcome welcome - 23 lbs pre/post op is great. you are doing fine. keep up the good work. kathy

    • MrsGamgee

      Day 5 post-op... didn't sleep great last night, lots of gas pain and it was my first night without using the rx pain meds. I'm tired and feeling rather stupid. My nurse is supposed to call today for a check in, so I'm debating taking a nap now and risk missing her call, or forcing myself to stay awake and pray she calls soon. Also, showering should be considered a workout... just doing the basics used up all my energy. Weight is slowly working its way down. I know that I shouldn't be on the scale yet, but I couldn't resist. I'm down almost 9lb down since surgery. Yay!
      · 1 reply
      1. Emilia Danciu

        You are allowed to feel tired, take naps and only do the minimum this soon after the surgery. Listen to your body and be good to yourself at this time. Most important things to care about at this time is hydration and protein. It is a full-time job to stay on top of that and prioritize your energy there for now. Just give your body the time to heal and adjust, don’t rush the recovery.

  • Trending Topics

  • Magazine Articles

    1. Keto and Bariatric Surgery

      Posted in: Food & Nutrition
      Lisa Kaouk, RD & Monica Bashaw, RD
    2. Little known facts about losing weight after bariatric surgery

      Posted in: Post-Op Support
      Lisa Kaouk, RD & Monica Bashaw, RD
    3. Carbs After Bariatric Surgery?

      Posted in: Food & Nutrition
      Lisa Kaouk, RD & Monica Bashaw, RD
  • Together, we have lost...