In terms of your weight or appearance...what have been the doozies?

I'll start with this one, it's a double wammy!

Three weeks ago, DH and I visit his family. His grandfather sees my DH in his new outfit I got him for his birthday and sporting his new "do" that sort of gives him a bed head look. He says to me "If he keeps looking younger, people are going to think he's your son!"

Mind you, my DH is 5-6 years younger than I am.

I go home in a slight huff but try to figure it's just an old man not aware of what he says all the time, because he's never had a mean bone in his body that I've ever been aware of. I tell my mom about this and she says "ya...the more overweight you get, the older you're going to look."

My point being...I know I'm older than DH. I know I'm fatter than DH. Everyone else that has eyes can tell both of those too, though the age thing might be just a tad harder ( evidently not after DH got his new hip haircut)...why did they have to say anything....

I'm going to go shave my DH's head bald and get him some used sweatpants and a sloppy tee-shirt to wear to family functions from here on out. Maybe then, someone will think I've had plastic surgery and that it's doing me wonders! Course, I think having this LB is going to make them start to shush about my weight problem. I'm not telling them I've gotten one....I'm just hoping that they'll notice my efforts.

Now, help me find a few laughs out there. What have you heard that's been sort of "off-handed" or "back-handed" compliments? Lets try to make it more funny than bitchy if you can. I've got a few more that I'll post if this one takes off.

When I was in the hospital 18 months ago recovering from hip replacement, my sister-in-law from Phoenix called me. She never fails to say something "catty" to me. I told her I noticed that Dillards had their summer gowns on sale and I would love to go get one. She told me that she would go get one for me and mail it to me. Then she asked me if she should get a 5X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never been larger than a 2X. I just said in a very insulted voice "Jenny!!!" and she did not get the jest of it. Anyway, my sweet hubby went and bought one for me.

That's horrible!

Ok so I have two sisters, one older one younger. Now everyone that knows all of us has us stereotyped for ease of remembering..my older sister is the smart one, shes in dental school..nevermind that i am a senior getting a bio degree myslef..my younger sister has always been the pretty one..me Im the fat funny one.

One day my aunt told me "I'm just not sure of how to think about you now that youve lost so much weight. " What like my weight was my defining characteristic! Say nothing about my Shirley temple like curly hair , sarcastic outlook or witty personality..What do you call the fat one when shes not fat...

But really the worst was after my band I started losing weight (duh!)and went down to a size 18. Well my sister, whose college eating habits are catching up to her is a size 18. Well, I no longer am. Fact is, Im like a 15 now..Well I offered her my jeans. They were only worn for like a month or two, so still in good shape.."O, I wont wear your fat jeans!" and I was like Megan, if they fit you, then wear them..wouldnt even try them on..because her fitting into them would mean the sky would begin to fall apparently...bc theres no way in heck that she could be fatter than me!!

A few years ago while vacationing in Spain me and my friend - we are both "thick" girls - were just walking around the city at night we had done our hair and makeup just to look and feel cute. as we were walking up the street we saw a bunch of guys standing outside of a bar and they were all staring at us as we were coming up the street. as we passed by one guy had the nerve to say "you can find something special in all women except those two" none of his friends said anything because i think they were embarassed. once we turned the corner we just stop because we were both just so hurt and shocked at what was just said. I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. another time while vacationing in Dominican Republic while we were laying on the beach just relaxing not bothering anyone 2 guys walking down the beach made the usual beached whale comment. :faint:

what i find funny is that in both cases the guys that made the comments were american and we were in countries where the local guys were all over us because they like women with curves and meat on their bones!!!

Yep, that obsession with skinny chicks seems to be largely confined to American and Canadian guys. Men in other parts of the world are far more relaxed about a woman's size and many men adore a "thick," curvy woman. I always feel a lot more comfortable about myself when watching Brit flicks and television shows. There I find thicker, and older women being portrayed as sexually viable. And I am charmed by their imperfect teeth since I, too, have European teeth.

I have also heard that the frail, skinny, Calista Flockhart look is not at all prized in black culture - this seems to be a white thang. Certainly Flockhart and the rest of her gang do not look juicy, strong, and healthy.

I wonder why we all managed to buy into this notion that extreme skinniness is beautiful. In our remote past this condition indicated that the female was either still a child and thus not ready to bear children or that she was ill and would likely be unable to bear and then nurture children. All representations of womanhood from these prehistoric times depict women as having wide hips, big bellies, and big breasts. In fact these characteristics were exaggerated. It is worth noting that goddess worship was prevalent at this time. Men were both respectful and mystified by the ability of women to procreate.

And if you examine historical portraiture you will note that most of the beauties who were painted were obese by modern standards. You will also see that the fashions of previous eras were designed to make women look bulky. There were crinolines and bustles, etc.

Watching Bollywood flicks which were made during the '60s through to the '80s is also fun. The Indian heroines are absolutely gorgeous but also quite tubby.

Fat is just such a complicated issue....

I don't know who coined the phrase first, but Rose Kennedy (John's mum) was famous for saying, "A woman can never been too thin or too rich." In fact, she was so obsessed with it, she missed out on many of the family outings. She hardly touched her plate during dinner, chatted a while at the table with all the kids and hubby, and then retired to her room so that she wouldn't be tempted with any other potentially fat-producing behavior.

Calista Flockhart is not only skinny, she seems to have trouble even getting her lines out because she's such an uptight beeotch.

I think Americans are so obsessed with that waif look because it is practically impossible to achieve unless you are anorexic or close to it. We always seem to want what we can't have. Anyone remember Twiggy? If these wafer thin girls were healthy, it would be different, but many of them are not. They take drugs and eat improperly to stay as skinny as possible. Although there are women who can't gain weight, no matter hard they try and that must be very frustrating, but I just can't relate to the likes of the interior decorator on "Divine Design". She's over 6 feet tall and weighs a buck ten.

Frankly it must be a testament to our society that I will say that I would nearly kill to be that skinny. I guess I'm feeling that way today because I just, once again, gave in to my cravings and had some ice cream. I guess on a normal day, I would be satisfied to look like Marilyn Monroe. Didn't she wear a size 14?

I finally got my score even with a co-worker. She is a very skinny, ugly, and heavy smoking gal who thinks she's God's gift to the world. For 7 years she has been using every aid she can find to stop smoking. Me and some other gals were sitting and talking at lunch about my band etc. I had only had it about two months and had lost about 15 pounds. Well, I'm explaining it and she butts in and says, "Well, why couldn't you just stop eating. Why do you need that band thingy to keep you from eating?" I stopped and looked at her and said, "Well, why do you need all those stop smoking thingy's, why don't you just stop smoking?" To say the least, the whole room went silent. She just looked at me with her dumb blonde look and said, "Well, I"ve smoking for 10 years since I was 15." I said, "I've been fat for 46 YEARS, my whole life!" She turned and walked away. Since then, she has stopped smoking and has gained about 15 pounds (her bones aren't protruding like they used to) and she is always commenting on how good I'm looking. (I've lost 65 pounds so far) She's still skinny but looks much better in most everyone's opinion. She did jokingly say that if she kept eating like she was, she'd need a lap band, or have to start smoking again! Non weight challenged people just don't understand that we can be fat even if we didn't eat hardly anything at all. It's just how our bodies are. The best thing about the band is "the weight will never go back on". Once it's off, it's off forever!!!! No more YO YO!! That's worth every penny!

I don't know who coined the phrase first, but Rose Kennedy (John's mum) was famous for saying, "A woman can never been too thin or too rich." In fact, she was so obsessed with it, she missed out on many of the family outings. She hardly touched her plate during dinner, chatted a while at the table with all the kids and hubby, and then retired to her room so that she wouldn't be tempted with any other potentially fat-producing behavior.

Calista Flockhart is not only skinny, she seems to have trouble even getting her lines out because she's such an uptight beeotch.

I think Americans are so obsessed with that waif look because it is practically impossible to achieve unless you are anorexic or close to it.

Frankly it must be a testament to our society that I will say that I would nearly kill to be that skinny. I guess I'm feeling that way today because I just, once again, gave in to my cravings and had some ice cream. I guess on a normal day, I would be satisfied to look like Marilyn Monroe. Didn't she wear a size 14?

Ah, grrl, it ain't just Americans who are obsessed with the skinny-thing, Canadians are, too.

As for the quote which you ascribed to Rose Kennedy, I have always been under the impression that it was Edward the 8th's wife, Wallis Warfield-Simpson who initially said this. He was the Brit king who, if you will recall, gave up the throne in order to marry his very, very thin and much married and divorced American mistress. They shifted to France after his abdication but continued to be an embarassment to the monarchy. They continued to flirt with Naziism after Britain had entered into war with Hitler. It seems that Warfield-Simpson may have done the world a favour by removing her husband from the monarchy. Rumours are that he was as dumb as a plant as well as being a Nazi sympathiser. She continued to be astonshingly thin up until the day she died. Debates as to the nature of her husband's sexual issues/possible dysfunctions continue. :mad:

Bandster45---Oh my God, I crown you winner of all. What you said to the chain smoking b&*^% is what I wish i had the guts to say. Good for you. Gosh, I wish I had been there. Congrats on your weight loss.

Ah yes, now that you mention it, Green, I do remember that quote as having been said by dear ole' Wallis Simpson. The slut.

I am sure that she probably impressed Rose Kennedy and that's why Rose adopted that skinny bitch approach to life.

Did you know that Wallis Simpson and her abdicated royal had a place in the U.S.? Never having seen her in person, only photos, I can't understand what he saw in her. But then, that brings to mind a more contemporary someone who fell for that "horse" woman, doesn't it?

I guess having a few extra lbs and being married to a commoner is not always so bad, by comparison.

Gotta Love 'em!!! My mother-in-law did that. I was always dieting, losing/gaining, we all know the routine. SHe told me one time that she didn't understand how I stayed to heavy with no more than I ever ate? (Me either??? ) But at this time, I had gained about 30 pounds and was wearing a 2X, she bought me a new robe for my B-day. SHe got a 5x and as I was opening the present she kept saying over and over, "Oh, I hope it's big enough, I didn't have a clue what size to get so I got the biggest they had." I took it out and held it up to me and everyone just fell off their chairs laughing. I tried it on and my husband immediately climbed in WITH me. He said, "Mom, I think it's plenty big for BOTH of us." He was an XL size himself. She was embarrassed and apologized all over and promised to take it back and exchange it. I told her don't worry I'd do it. Then to make things worse she turns to her other son and asks if it will fit his girl-friend. (She wouldn't even try it, but we are all sure it would have been way too small.) She just didn't know when to stop. God Bless Her!! She is a very good hearted well-meaning person, just clueless! Incidentially, since the lap-band, I gave her some of my 2X clothes and she's wearing them. She mentioned, "maybe I"ve put on a few pounds??" YA THINK???? But it feels really good to have her on a diet for a change. She did comment on how hard it is to eat right and diet and to lose a few pounds and then it's right back on. Now she understands the "Life and Trials of the Overweight".

I hereby state that I will NEVER buy clothing for my DIL. I will give her a gift card for clothing if it comes to it!!!

I began this wild ride at 289 pounds, wearing a 22/24 pants and a 3X top. I am now 188 and wearing a 12/14 pants and an XL top--all of it comfortably--it helps being tall!!!

Last week for my birthday my MIL bought me clothes. The tops were still 3X and the capri's a size 8. Now I know I am top heavy but good Lord woman! I would fall over on my face to require those sizes together!!!!

My SIL was banded the same time I was, and is now at goal, and their (MIL & SIL) favorite thing to say to me is "How much of your weight have you regained?" I haven't regained any!!!

Gotta love 'em though---choking them is illegal!!!

Kat

Last week for my birthday my MIL bought me clothes. The tops were still 3X and the capri's a size 8. Now I know I am top heavy but good Lord woman! I would fall over on my face to require those sizes together!!!!

Kat

LOL!!! Oddly enough, I do kinda wear those very sizes. My size 10 pants are a little loose and so I could squash myself into an 8 and have the dreaded muffin top. And because I like to wear baggy tops and have broad shoulders I still do go hunting in the 3X rack even though I am a C-cup.

Without this belly, I too could wear those sizes! BUT this was done, knowing what sizes had been changed---with both SIL and I being done together, it is something we discuss often enough.

I always wore long loose tops. I am enjoying them a bit more fitted now. She had just commented on me finally wearing clothes that fit me!

My best friend has very broad shoulders, and has hell finding shirts to fit her---we hit all the racks---I have the double D's---so we NEVER know what sizes we want or need!!! For the first time ever we can actually often wear the same size! But she wears a lot of tank tops and sleeveless, due to the lack of shoulder seams, and I don't wear them....so there ya go!!!

Kat

Ok so I have two sisters, one older one younger. Now everyone that knows all of us has us stereotyped for ease of remembering..my older sister is the smart one, shes in dental school..nevermind that i am a senior getting a bio degree myslef..my younger sister has always been the pretty one..me Im the fat funny one.

One day my aunt told me "I'm just not sure of how to think about you now that youve lost so much weight. " What like my weight was my defining characteristic! Say nothing about my Shirley temple like curly hair , sarcastic outlook or witty personality..What do you call the fat one when shes not fat...

But really the worst was after my band I started losing weight (duh!)and went down to a size 18. Well my sister, whose college eating habits are catching up to her is a size 18. Well, I no longer am. Fact is, Im like a 15 now..Well I offered her my jeans. They were only worn for like a month or two, so still in good shape.."O, I wont wear your fat jeans!" and I was like Megan, if they fit you, then wear them..wouldnt even try them on..because her fitting into them would mean the sky would begin to fall apparently...bc theres no way in heck that she could be fatter than me!!

Ahhh -- SISTERS!!! You gotta love 'em....there's no where to hide the bodies!

My sister was overweight since childhood -- sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. I was very skinny as a child and teen, but started to creep up as I got older and had kids. But WHEN I WAS pregnany -- WHOA, Nellie did I spread out.

Anyhow, 18 years ago we had to travel to my aunt's funeral -- arriving late in the evening. As soon as we arrived where the wake was being held, my sister grabbed me and took me back to the kitchen area where lots of cousins I hadn't seen in over 10 years were at. We couldn't both fit in the room, so she shoved me in, hollering over my shoulder, "See, I told you she was bigger than me!"

I WAS 8 MONTHS PREGNANT!!!!

Eventually I did end up being bigger than her (still am, for a few months longer!!) and she's revelled in it. Especially since my gray hair and Nana-status has people now asking, "Now which one is older?" SHE IS, by 11 years!

I think Americans are so obsessed with that waif look because it is practically impossible to achieve unless you are anorexic or close to it. We always seem to want what we can't have. Anyone remember Twiggy? If these wafer thin girls were healthy, it would be different, but many of them are not. They take drugs and eat improperly to stay as skinny as possible.

Fat is a complicated issue. I don't think it's the 'forbidden fruit' factor here as much as something else.

Being EXTREMELY paleskinned, I've learned that prior to the end of WW2, fair-complectedness was desirable and women wore hats and bonnets and gloves to protect their skin. Why? Because being tanned was equated with poverty...having to work out of doors for a living.

It wasn't until the post-war affluence, combining affordable air travel and paid vacations, that tan became to be a symbol of wealth and leisure -- a complete paradigm flip.

I think 'fat' as a status symbol is the same way. From prehistoric times and, to this day in poor countries, women with a little meat on their bones were seen as affluent and healthier. They had wealth/a good provider so food was plentiful and they weren't going to expire at the first famine or plague like someone with little body fat might. Scientifically, men are programmed to like curves because it implies health and that translates into better childbearing odds.

Today, I think it has become a distorted image of wealth, You can be as frail as you want -- if you're wealthy enough to hire someone to do your work for you. Then, you can pay to have some one train you to work out, so you can fight time and gravity and keep your adolescent figure.

Bearing children is no longer thought to be every woman's EXPECTED role and celebrities get MORE attention for the babies they DON"T carry themselves -- Angelina and Madonna.

Although there are women who can't gain weight, no matter hard they try and that must be very frustrating, but I just can't relate to the likes of the interior decorator on "Divine Design". She's over 6 feet tall and weighs a buck ten.

And she's had at least two pregnancies since that's shows been on the air. I think she's probably just high energy and drew a lucky hand genetically.