A single doughnut almost broke me

[snickysnack78 131]

I am in week 2 of my diet and to say the least it's not easy. I went from eating whatever I want to a strict less than 1200 calorie day. No soda, sweets, or fast food. I have been doing ok with it so far, no crazy or emotional days and have been fine with others eating whatever they want in front of me.

Today on the other hand, was a huge task. My family wanted Panda Express for dinner tonight, and that left me to be on my own. Normally when they want Panda I am fine with it because I don't like chinese food so I would just go to the nearest taco bell drivethru and pick up something. This time I decided I should go to the grocery store and pick up something more healthy. This is where I broke down. I had no idea what I wanted and literally walked around the store for over an hour with an empty basket and literally almost in tears because I didn't know what to do. I couldn't leave empty handed because otherwise I would make the poor decision and go to fast food. I was just about to give up when I found fajita chicken, but it was right next to the bakery section, bad placement by the way.

So i went over there to look around, see if I want to buy something for my family, and I end up buying a chocolate doughnut. No sooner than I get to the car, that doughnut is fully in my mouth. Once I was done and saw the empty doughnut bad, the guilt set in bad.. I just feel dumb for having something so simple bother me, and now I can't get it over it. Talked to my boyfriend who said its okay..I made a big change and it's going to take sometime to adjust and it wasn't something to beat myself up over it.

I know its going to take some time to adjust, but how do you deal with the guilt? I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I did this. I am normally such a strong person, but this is hard and I just don't want to give up so easily.

[Joz31 90]

I can only speak as a preop patient, however; you are dealing with years of eating the same way over and over and in a couple weeks are trying to change habits that are hard in place. Don't beat yourself up about it, look at it as a minor setback or a speed bump in the road and something to improve upon. I don't for one second believe anyone is perfect in this journey that we are on. We are bound to make mistakes, but it is how we deal with them and learn from them that shows the true character of ourselves. You are bigger than this mistake, so pick up yourself and move forward all eyes ahead on the goal. Just my thoughts.....

[butterfly23 423]

Thanks for your post snickysnack. Part of our work is acknowledging our struggles to see if there is anything behind them that needs attention, healing, letting go, whatever your process is. Please do not be so hard on yourself, find a balance between compassion and accountability. There are all those times you did not buy or eat a donut too. It is more important to figure out why you did it. If you were famished, find healthy Protein bars or other snack to carry so you aren't making decisions from such hunger. If it was more emotional, look into the role food has played for you. If it was rebellion, find othe healthy ways to take risks...only you can find your path.

I am having my surgery next week, so many on here have so much more wisdom to offer than I, but from my experience thus far committing to WLS is about letting go and having forgiveness (for myself and others) so that I can let go of this weight forever - and let go of whatever the weight was doing for me.

Best of luck to you on your journey and be kind to yourself - it is a tough one and you are doing it!

[Laureadolce 44]

You ate a donut. Move on. I'm not mocking or making light of it - stuff happens! If you then eat 4 more donuts, we've got a problem, Houston. After your surgery there are going to be times when you eat the wrong thing, or too fast or too much. The benefit (?!) is, there will be a physical, negative consequence, either cramping or vomiting or something to reinforce good choices. Right now you are learning to do that without surgery. You're doing great, don't be so hard on yourself - I like the way ^ phrased it, compassion + accountability.

[mrs kaje 347]

So, wanna know what I did yesterday?

I went to get groceries after work, and saw Easter eggs on sale. I bought a 90g bag of Lindt mini bunnies, among other things, and I ate these in the car on the drive home, within probably less than ten minutes. When I got home, I ate four mini croissants with butter. Then two bread rolls with butter and jam. Then a 120g white chocolate Easter bunny.

It was like I just wanted to shove carbs in my face; I couldn't stop myself. 2386 calories for the day. I know this happened because I ate Easter chocolate the last few days - for me, carbs trigger carb cravings. Even though I know it'll happen, it's like I can't control myself. But today, I'm back on track and I'll be fine until next month as it's my birthday and I'll be eating cake, and I'm not apologising for it.

Don't talk to me about your one doughnut, amateur.

Edited April 8, 2015 by mrs kaje

[kyrickchick64 468]

Pick yourself up , dust yourself off and put your big girl(hopefully soon to be smaller girl) panties on and start again. Donuts happen, next time get to the Protein Bar aisle before the bakery. Write this down. Protein Bars, shakes, beef or Turkey jerkey. Deli dept: Turkey, ham cheese roll up. salad from the produce dept. With ham cheese and Turkey from deli on it.

Lots of stuff in the store to eat the junk food was calling your name cause face it...the family was eating what they wanted...sorry. I know ive been there. This is your journey not theirs. What you see and feel on the other side will amaze you. My husband and son can eat any fast food in front of me. Doesn't faze me. I can eat so little that I don't want crap in my system. My one regret so far...I have lost my taste for coffee...I loved coffee...snif. I used to love Water. Not a fan of the taste anymore, drink it cause I have to. Weird. I'm 5 weeks out. I don't know if this will all change. But my pants are falling down...

[TEXASLADY52 264]

We all have our demons and struggles. You have to face them and learn from them. You will be tempted from now on. The surgery doesn't fix our minds...it keeps telling us things still taste good and we want it. Treat this like a small bump in the road. Where we fail is telling ourselves that we have already failed today so we might as well eat what we want the rest of the day. We have to plan our days and plan what we are going to eat so we don't hit these road bumps. We are going to be tempted from now on.....you just have to be strong enough to resist and not fall back into bad habits that got us in the shape we were in before the surgery. You can do this!

[Bonawanabfree 280]

@@snickysnack78

Please do not beat yourself up about this. I had food funerals before my surgery. I will tell you something though, After the surgery you will do something like that one time and learn your lesson. I wasnt terribly bad yesterday but I wanted Peanut Butter and grape jam so bad so i put it in a bowl and and ate it up. !0 mins later I was throwing up and had major cramps. I will not be doing that again. I dont even crave bread anymore or Pasta. I just wanted a PB&J and i paid the price for that. i had never experianced that so it was a first and a last for me. The phsycological part of this surgery is so hard to wrap my brain around. it is just the new normal.

[alwaysvegas 702]

As everyone has said...move on.

Just like before surgery, everything we stick in our face is our choice. The same as before the same as after.

We had to find a balance between eating healthily and exercising. The same as before the same after.

It's that ol' devil called "head hunger" that we gotta contend with. But remember that there's nothing you can't eat. It's still a choice...your choice. So don't think of it as "I can't eat a donut." The truth is, "I choose not to eat a donut." That way of thinking helped me tremendously. I hope it helps you as well.

Best of luck on your journey!

[WillyBoo 23]

Cut yourself a break! Tomorrow is a new day. The next time you feel temptation, you will remember how you feel right now and hopefully you will not give in to the junk.

[snickysnack78 131]

Thank you everyone for your kind and wonderful words. Yesterday was a bad day for me, but I woke up with a new attitude and outlook. I will not less this slow me down. I can do this!

[debbie813 20]

Lots of words of wisdom here. Forgive yourself & move on. I find that when I guilt myself I tend to keep eating because "I don't deserve to be thin". Just keep moving. Sending you positive thoughts!