Coping with a loss

[amponder 396]

Feel free to move this post where it's supposed to go, Yesterday my Dad suffered a massive heart attack and died he would have been 62 next month. He was not obese, in fact he was strong, ate healthy and wore a 30 pant size, I looked, I looked at the discarded pants laying by the couch, he was always tiny. Why does this matter? I don't know, I don't know anything anymore. He was so proud I was losing weight, he was going to take me shopping. I just miss my Dad, I am the only child everyone is asking me all these questions, where when how what, I'm 38 but I don't feel old enough to do this.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Feel free to move this post where it's supposed to go, Yesterday my Dad suffered a massive heart attack and died he would have been 62 next month. He was not obese, in fact he was strong, ate healthy and wore a 30 pant size, I looked, I looked at the discarded pants laying by the couch, he was always tiny. Why does this matter? I don't know, I don't know anything anymore. He was so proud I was losing weight, he was going to take me shopping. I just miss my Dad, I am the only child everyone is asking me all these questions, where when how what, I'm 38 but I don't feel old enough to do this.

I am so sorry. I know the pain of losing a father suddenly. I was 33 when my dad died and I felt like a little child when it happened, even though I had to be a strong adult for my mom. I don't have any advice for you except that reaching out here was very very smart. Not isolating in grief. Keep posting. Keep taking care of you.

[KristenVSG2014 1,871]

I'm am truly sorry for your loss. When you posted how proud your dad was of you and he was going to take you shopping it actually made me cry because it made me think of my dad. I've never lost someone so close to me so I don't have any advice but I wanted to let you know my heart goes out to you. I don't know your background but I always read my Bible and pray when I need help coping with any trial. 2 Cor. 1: 3, 4

[KateP 359]

My very, very best wishes and sympathy. I can empathise a bit as my father died when I was 13 and my mother when I was 33. But it is different for everyone and so I can only guess how you feel.

Take with you the thought that his last feelings were pride in your achievement.

Try not to turn to food but don't get obsessive about it.

[gail10 17]

Such a shame, I can't imagine how you must feeling right now but as KateP says your dad passed feeling extremely proud of you......keep going because I'm sure he will be by your side......hugs & kisses ????

[B-52 7,113]

So sorry for your loss....

I'm 63 years old, had my heart attack when I was 58...but I was Obese and had fat oozing through my arteries...(cholesterol, triglycerides, etc.)

I lost my Father to a MI...he was not fat, and was in his 50's...then lost my Brother, sister and finally my mother.

So now I'm an orphan.

I belong to a Face Book group made up of my High School class....seeing and listening to some of these people....it's very sad what shape many are in.

I went through a surgical procedure to help "Fix" some of the issues with my heart....it was then my PCP recommended WLS...which I did....best decision I ever made, and I will NEVER look back!!!

When I feel reluctant to go to the gym, or get on that treadmill, you can see all I have to do is think on these things to get motivated....very motivated.

Again, sorry for you loss....

[Julie norton 2,850]

Sending positive blessings to you amponder. It is heart wrenching to lose a close one❤️????????....maybe more so when we don't have our coping mechanism of food.

You will go on. There is no choice. And no, life is just not fair !It just hurts???? My counselor said "keep crying" which I found helpful...

Oddly enough,in the car is where my sadness was strong.

Please know we care and keep posting????

[amponder 396]

@JustWatchMe @Julie norton @B-52 @KateP @@gail10 Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement, I calle my Doctor because I went a long time without eating and when I did eat I got dizzy, I didn't know if it was stress or band, he said to drink more, and DO NOT stress and worry about calorie intake right now to just get through this and take care of myself. Here is a link to my Dads obituary feel free to use the e-card (it's free) or write me a message. http://www.mckinneybrown.com/home/index.cfm/public:obituaries/view/fh_id/13791/id/3022057

[KateP 359]

May I suggest slider foods for a few days? Very likely your band will feel tighter due to stress. Maybe even pop out and buy a few oprotein shakes?

[sbrick 8]

I also lost my father very suddenly 5 years ago. His death is what motivated me to have surgery. Coping with death of a close loved one is never easy. Just take it one day at a time. He's watching over you and will see your success.

Much love.

[gowalking 10,790]

My deepest condolences @amponder. I am blessed to still have both my parents but my dad has been sick lately and all of us children are very aware that one or both of them could go bad at any time based on age and health issues.

Most of my contemporaries have lost one or both parents and I've been to many many funerals over the past few years. They all say similar things about having to feel like grown ups now that a parent has passed so know that what you are feeling seems to be perfectly normal. Do whatever you need to in order to not lose control over the food. If that means shakes again, do it. If that means being away from the food, do it. You know how much your dad was proud of you and you will know what to do so you stay on track.

Putting my virtual arms around you and giving you a big hug. Just post when you need us. We're here.

[briefs199 337]

So sorry to hear about your loss. Both my parents died by the time I was 40 so I know what it's like to lose parents. There are no words other than I'm sorry and take this time to be kind to yourself and let others be kind to you. The one thing that I found comforting is to do something nice in his honor. That will depend on what he liked or if you did something special together. I do this every year around my parents' anniversary. Let's me remember them in a positive way.

[kyrickchick64 468]

I'm so sorry for you loss. I lost my brother Which was the catalyst for me to lose the weight. My brother was always active and a pillar of the community. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to these things it just happens. I've also lost both my parents in their early 60s. I'm in my 50a and to think that I only have 10 or 15 yrs left scares the crap out of me. Again my condolences for your loss.

[kwcrnp 63]

So sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad when I was 27...it's hard anytime. I firmly believe he is always with me and my family, I sense his presence all the time. I hope you have the same comfort in knowing your Dad is proud of you and will stand with you no matter what. Kristi