Ok, here I am down from 350 to 197 over 150 gone.. Sizes are amazing when looking at numbers size 12/14 from a 30/32 and medium from a 4x..Off all medication, except vitamins... Why can't I see it? I see just a shrunk up me.. I see rolls lots of them.. I love spanx..if I could I would sleep in them.. Not just for the look but the feel of my body being tight..

My goal weight was 180, I think my bones are made of steel! I am 5'8, turning 38, with 3 c-sections and over weight since I was 12...I am 9 months post-op from WLS.

I keep thinking loving myself the way I did at 350 has really messed up my body vision..what and how should I feel about myself now.. Do I learn to love me how I am, or should I be judging myself hard, so I keep pushing to make more and more changes...but the question is change into what? I mean the damage being over weight created on my body just isn't going away and now I am a super model...I think that is my problem... I want something to compare too and everyone is so different and has different background stories..

I am driving my family nuts when I ask if I am so and so size, or am I as small as her? Does this go away?

I don't know. All I know is that I am the same me. Just a lot healthier with more stamina.

This article might be of some interest to you:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/page/articles.html/_/support/post-op-support/my%E2%80%A6-how-the-focus-changes-r337

I think for some people, especially those of us who were long time fatties there is a bit of body dysmorphia that can occur. We identified for a very long time with the fat person we were. For still others there is the constant battle to be "good enough". It may go away on it's own as you settle into maintenance and living life as a thinner person.

Ok, here I am down from 350 to 197 over 150 gone.. Sizes are amazing when looking at numbers size 12/14 from a 30/32 and medium from a 4x..Off all medication, except vitamins... Why can't I see it? I see just a shrunk up me.. I see rolls lots of them.. I love spanx..if I could I would sleep in them.. Not just for the look but the feel of my body being tight..

My goal weight was 180, I think my bones are made of steel! I am 5'8, turning 38, with 3 c-sections and over weight since I was 12...I am 9 months post-op from WLS.

I keep thinking loving myself the way I did at 350 has really messed up my body vision..what and how should I feel about myself now.. Do I learn to love me how I am, or should I be judging myself hard, so I keep pushing to make more and more changes...but the question is change into what? I mean the damage being over weight created on my body just isn't going away and now I am a super model...I think that is my problem... I want something to compare too and everyone is so different and has different background stories..

I am driving my family nuts when I ask if I am so and so size, or am I as small as her? Does this go away?

I have the same thoughts and would ask my DH to point out someone my size, he stated firmly, "not happening!" But I did find a really great site that has helped me a lot with pics of different sized people. You put in your stats like height and weight, you can do pant size, body shape, age, etc. mybodygallery.com

I can relate @@teacherlady2133 ! it's hard to keep the new visuals of our bodies in perspective or reality, and what may be happening is that it's such a big change it's overwhelming you. I'd encourage you to go back to any journals or notes you made pre-op or early on, and ask yourself what's changed since then. If you don't have those, just start making some lists of things that are different in your life now. It helps pain a more complete picture of life, instead of so much on how we look and what size we are. Also, write a page of "I am..." statements. Not only about the changes but about the things that are you no matter what size or health or weight. "I am articulate, I am determined, I am strong, I am kind, I am a caring wife/mother/sister/daughter...etc. and then include the ones that are new among them; I am healthy, I am active, I am a runner, I am a gym rat...you get the idea. Keep the list and add to it as you grow and change. (Grow emotionally of course!) Consider looking also for a support group, since i've found just being with others going through it helpful, AND seeing others whose bodies change as mine has gives me good markers and encouragement. Good luck - and good for you thinking about loving yourself in this!!

Kate

I recommend photos. I look at my before pix regularly. I keep a before and after side by side in my office. i needed this to understand and really SEE my changes.

But I did find a really great site that has helped me a lot with pics of different sized people. You put in your stats like height and weight, you can do pant size, body shape, age, etc. mybodygallery.com

What a great site! I'm going to go ahead and upload my progress pics to that site in the hopes of helping other women.

when i first looked inside myself, ( introspection not surgically) i realized that i never saw myself as fat, one of the coping mechanisms is our mind trick us into just being ourselves, not a fat person. Sure we feel the weight etc and the results of it, but the changes while i can see it in clothing sizes, in energy level, in health, but you stilll feel like you and you always will because who else can you be? I do believe in the side by side picture thing. My wife keeps a pic of me from went i graduated after going back to school two years ago when i was at my heaviest and we splice in a pic of me now, so i can see the true difference. i do notice it in my face, at first i thought, who is this guy its nt me, but i do like him. so i get used to it. and i look forward to meeting the skinny me inside this guy. When my surgeon told me my weight loss goal, ( down to 170 pounds from 374 , he said " you're going to lose a whole person, and since he isnt paying rent, lets kick him out." it was meant as a joke, but it was very perceptive. We do lose a whole person in becoming the new us.

LOL. we are soul sisters. I can see the change in myself, but have had a hard time assimilating what I see, too. I also wonder if I am being too hard on myself to get to a normal BMI. Or maybe I'm being too easy on myself to take the easy way out, so I can stop fighting to get to a weight that seems unattainable. Do I look fat? Blah, blah, blah, on and on the loop has gone in my head.

So, to answer your fundamental question, does it ever go away? I think it depends on you. We are in charge of our own happiness and thoughts and actions. In the past week or two, I am starting make peace with it. I know that a size 8/10 and sm/med is not fat. I have just had to come grips with the fact that the number on the scale is just an indicator to monitor over time, to show a trend. It's not the be all, end all to determine success. I'm healthy and not taking any meds, (other than vitamins) and I'm feeling great. I have a great wardrobe, can shop anywhere I want, and I'm smaller than the average American woman. I am a success.

I can relate @@teacherlady2133 ! it's hard to keep the new visuals of our bodies in perspective or reality, and what may be happening is that it's such a big change it's overwhelming you. I'd encourage you to go back to any journals or notes you made pre-op or early on, and ask yourself what's changed since then. If you don't have those, just start making some lists of things that are different in your life now. It helps pain a more complete picture of life, instead of so much on how we look and what size we are. Also, write a page of "I am..." statements. Not only about the changes but about the things that are you no matter what size or health or weight. "I am articulate, I am determined, I am strong, I am kind, I am a caring wife/mother/sister/daughter...etc. and then include the ones that are new among them; I am healthy, I am active, I am a runner, I am a gym rat...you get the idea. Keep the list and add to it as you grow and change. (Grow emotionally of course!) Consider looking also for a support group, since i've found just being with others going through it helpful, AND seeing others whose bodies change as mine has gives me good markers and encouragement. Good luck - and good for you thinking about loving yourself in this!!

Kate

I love the idea of going through journals I have kept 2 since starting this journey and I haven't written in awhile... I will make the list too!

when i first looked inside myself, ( introspection not surgically) i realized that i never saw myself as fat, one of the coping mechanisms is our mind trick us into just being ourselves, not a fat person. Sure we feel the weight etc and the results of it, but the changes while i can see it in clothing sizes, in energy level, in health, but you stilll feel like you and you always will because who else can you be? I do believe in the side by side picture thing. My wife keeps a pic of me from went i graduated after going back to school two years ago when i was at my heaviest and we splice in a pic of me now, so i can see the true difference. i do notice it in my face, at first i thought, who is this guy its nt me, but i do like him. so i get used to it. and i look forward to meeting the skinny me inside this guy. When my surgeon told me my weight loss goal, ( down to 170 pounds from 374 , he said " you're going to lose a whole person, and since he isnt paying rent, lets kick him out." it was meant as a joke, but it was very perceptive. We do lose a whole person in becoming the new us.

I agree with never seeing myself as fat I was just bigger than everyone else and that was life. I think since I was a child it was the case so never so it clearly. I have lost a whole person too and to think of it that way is shocking...

LOL. we are soul sisters. I can see the change in myself, but have had a hard time assimilating what I see, too. I also wonder if I am being too hard on myself to get to a normal BMI. Or maybe I'm being too easy on myself to take the easy way out, so I can stop fighting to get to a weight that seems unattainable. Do I look fat? Blah, blah, blah, on and on the loop has gone in my head.

So, to answer your fundamental question, does it ever go away? I think it depends on you. We are in charge of our own happiness and thoughts and actions. In the past week or two, I am starting make peace with it. I know that a size 8/10 and sm/med is not fat. I have just had to come grips with the fact that the number on the scale is just an indicator to monitor over time, to show a trend. It's not the be all, end all to determine success. I'm healthy and not taking any meds, (other than vitamins) and I'm feeling great. I have a great wardrobe, can shop anywhere I want, and I'm smaller than the average American woman. I am a success.

I love this gave me sort of the idea of seeing it as someone else...I would never think a med top or 12 pants was someone overweight or as fat..and yes the loop runs in my head too.

On a lighter note "soul sister" O-H..

After my day I needed a giggle.. Sorry hope your laughing too!

I-O!

LOL, I've never said that before! But, I live on the Michigan/Ohio border and work in Ohio, so I see and hear it a LOT!

Glad you got a laugh from my post. But it is quite a strange phenomenon that so many of us who are fully grounded in reality find this same issue. I always say I've had worse problems, though! I have to remind myself that it's more than a pass/fail or win/lose situation. Incremental, partial, and ongoing steps in the right direction are part of our success.

Michiganchic, the laugh was just the OH-IO..

I truly loved your post and you are so right about how we measure success in life and things we do. I think sometimes reality checks are needed to keep us focused.. What is healthy and right for our own life? We get caught in the comparing and miss the reality...we quickly lose our faith and drive when we compare...and trying to obtain something we really don't need... I need to be healthy... I love the idea of making a list and even getting out some old photos..

Mirrors and pictures were always my reality check before. And they are now too. So the idea of keeping pictures around of before and after to keep me in check is what I'm gonna do too.