I would like to get a discussion going about this. Any takers?

These are my concerns i've been dealing with lately, and privately. I haven't spoken to my husband too much about some of these concerns because I need to work out where this fear is coming from to some degree or else i'll ramble.

I met my husband just over 4 1/2 years ago through friends, and our 4th wedding anniversary is September 3rd...it was a whirlwind, but we were truly transparent with each other from the beginning. It helped that i met him while visiting the friends in another state, so i went home after meeting him for 3 months before i moved back to New Mexico, where he was. I had lived there for years and spent a year home with family because of family problems, but i had always planned on returning to NM before he even came into the picture. After we met we spent 1.5 months across the country from each other only able to talk on the phone. We worked through it and i'm sure it gave us a strong foundation. Like some others have stated, he married me at a size 22, 280lbs. He's always dated bigger women, but his exwife fluctuated dramatically from thin to over 300 lbs. I am honestly not concerned about our relationship, we just spent the past 2 years dealing with serious PCOS issues, cancer scare and ultimately a hysterectomy in November. If our relationship easily made it through that, i'm actually not worried about us.

but the hair, and other cosmetic things...that's my fright. I really am no thinking about this vainly, but i do think that being smaller in general will help my self-esteem issues. Hair is a REAL concern because when i hit puberty, almost all my hair fell out...it came back, but much thinner than it was before. I've learned to be ok with it actually, but i also know that it's fragile after a major event. I lost a lot of hair after the hysterectomy, and again, it came back, but silver this time.

Sex...well, i'm just hoping that my sex drive will increase again once the weight comes down. Just over 2 years ago I was playing roller derby, which is incredibly intense exercise when you are my size. I put on LOTS more muscle than i ever did before, and managed to get down to 260, and despite the bleeding issues listed above, we were still in the honeymoon phase. I had to have leg surgery a not long after i hit my peak in derby, and what was supposed to be simple surgery almost maimed me, like a freak string on complications hit and i was getting prepped for an amputation...Since then i've had sever mobility issues, my legs are heavily scarred, and though i still have hope i'll be able to play again, it's been a rough journey and that stole what little self-esteem i gained. So, we'll see how that goes when the time comes

I've been off this site for a while. Life got way busy. I have to comment on the hair loss. I started using rogaine for women the day I came home from surgery. I had great determination not to deal with that. My hair didn't fall out...until I figured I didn't need it anymore and stopped using it. I didn't go bald but it did get pretty thin. Here's the cool part. I always wanted curly hair. What fell out was straight, what grew back is thick and curly. I have no clue how to deal this kind of hair but it's at least entertaining.

It grows back. Don't worry :-)

So I haven't read much of the comments , I'm going strictly from the title , I had said this before in a one of the other forums , but sex is at its best for me ! When I can get it lol ! I have lost around 125lbs and as you may or may not know but a man gets "larger" when he losses a lot of weight and that's a real confidence booster ! Plus you become a little more flexible and limber

Being heavy most of my life I was always the last guy to get any action. Lol. I haven't had any of the hair loss that I see people talk about , it's been about a year and a half since I have had my sleeve ,

And I've been working out almost everyday so lose skin hasn't been to bad I will attach a photo that I took last weekend when I was in Bermuda. There's some flab but it's only about an inch or two . I'll give it another six months and if it's still there I'll look in to having it removed I heard it's only like $20,000.00 for this procedure does anyone know ?

Ok

@@luv2plumb - ask about cost in the plastics forum. You will get some great advice over there. I have about a year before a good surgeon will take me (two years stable weight is the standard). I will probably shop for a good surgeon in Mexico or Caribbean and make it a "vacation" but the thigh flab (skin) has got to go. Dude it flaps during sex, it's embarrassing.

I hear ya , and thanks for the advice I love this site cause you can get the answers that you need here ,

So I haven't read much of the comments , I'm going strictly from the title , I had said this before in a one of the other forums , but sex is at its best for me ! When I can get it lol ! I have lost around 125lbs and as you may or may not know but a man gets "larger" when he losses a lot of weight and that's a real confidence booster ! Plus you become a little more flexible and limber

Being heavy most of my life I was always the last guy to get any action. Lol. I haven't had any of the hair loss that I see people talk about , it's been about a year and a half since I have had my sleeve ,

And I've been working out almost everyday so lose skin hasn't been to bad I will attach a photo that I took last weekend when I was in Bermuda. There's some flab but it's only about an inch or two . I'll give it another six months and if it's still there I'll look in to having it removed I heard it's only like $20,000.00 for this procedure does anyone know ?

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1441282874.128578.jpg

Hot damn, you're gorgeous! Sorry, I just had to say it

I haven't noticed an increase in my libido *yet* but I hope I'm not still single when it happens. I met a man right before I had surgery... I was hopeful something would happen there but there's no spark.

Oh my , that's very nice of you , and thank you for that I'm not used to hearing that , it's a real confidence booster, although I don't see it you made my night !!

I hope my sex drive comes back. I lost it about 2 years ago. I was sleeved 7/13 and am down 60 pounds and it still hasn't returned. I don't feel like I have an emotional connection with my husband, or anyone else for that matter. Just doesn't feel as if anyone can really relate to me right now. Emotionally this journey has been super tough.

How did you loose 60 pounds so quick