I'm basically a week away from operation and having a hard time mentally... i'm scared about how i will handle me relation with food. I admit now for a while that i don't have a healthy relation. There is still an emotional link. I' m now 1 week pre-op diet and since yesterday night having serious doubts about all this. Family saying what if i give it a last try before such drastic measure? boyfriend not in favor and calling all this amputation...i think my doubt is because of last minute panic of giving away my "drug". just listening to them but deep down i know why i'm panicking....

i really hope that someone can tell me how has been the mental game after operation? i strongly believe most of us have a kind of addiction. hope to find some honest answers...

It's good that you're thinking about all of this now and not going into surgery blindly thinking that it will solve all of your food related issues. Most insurances require a psych eval before surgery. Did you discuss any of these issues? That's what the psych eval is for. However, I know many just see it as a "check in the box" to get to surgery approval.

I highly suggest you read Geneen Roth's book "When Food is Love". It's a great read that I only read recently (I'm almost 10 mos post op). The food "addiction" will not go away with surgery. Early on, you will not physically be able to eat much but you will want to and be suffering emotionally. This can cause you to sabotage your weight loss by not following Drs orders (and finding lots of excuses to justify it). Within about 6 mos, it will be easy to stop losing weight and start gaining if you're not in the right mind set with food. So, start working on it now.

As for your lack of support from family- As you read Roth's book, you might realize that the approval of others is overly important to you. You need to make the decision to have this surgery for you and not for the approval of others. If they truly care about you, they will support you regardless of what they're saying now.

If you're not sure that surgery is the best for you right now, then postpone. It is truly a life changing procedure. There are opportunities for great results but it will require many changes that you must be ready for.

If it helps, I don't regret the surgery. I only regret not doing it sooner.

It's good that you're thinking about all of this now and not going into surgery blindly thinking that it will solve all of your food related issues. Most insurances require a psych eval before surgery. Did you discuss any of these issues? That's what the psych eval is for. However, I know many just see it as a "check in the box" to get to surgery approval.

I highly suggest you read Geneen Roth's book "When Food is Love". It's a great read that I only read recently (I'm almost 10 mos post op). The food "addiction" will not go away with surgery. Early on, you will not physically be able to eat much but you will want to and be suffering emotionally. This can cause you to sabotage your weight loss by not following Drs orders (and finding lots of excuses to justify it). Within about 6 mos, it will be easy to stop losing weight and start gaining if you're not in the right mind set with food. So, start working on it now.

As for your lack of support from family- As you read Roth's book, you might realize that the approval of others is overly important to you. You need to make the decision to have this surgery for you and not for the approval of others. If they truly care about you, they will support you regardless of what they're saying now.

If you're not sure that surgery is the best for you right now, then postpone. It is truly a life changing procedure. There are opportunities for great results but it will require many changes that you must be ready for.

If it helps, I don't regret the surgery. I only regret not doing it sooner.

thank you very much, i will look for the book. I' m paying from pocket so no real psych tests involved...but i'm very conscious of my issue and been working on it (including counseling for a while now). I won't be more ready then i am now. But doesn't mean i'm not anxious. Thank you.

I did not address my emotional attachment to food prior to surgery - quite honestly, I didn't think I had a problem. I had to address those issues while recovering from surgery which was hard, add on top of that the fact that I could only eat 2 tablespoons of food, made it more difficult.

I think having doubts is perfectly normal - I almost backed out of surgery the night before and the morning of surgery. I was so scared. I wondered if I should give it "one more try on my own". I know now, that I was never going to do it on my own - I had tried for years, one more try was not going to help.

Do what your gut tells you to do! Best of luck to you!

thank you very much, i will look for the book. I' m paying from pocket so no real psych tests involved...but i'm very conscious of my issue and been working on it (including counseling for a while now). I won't be more ready then i am now. But doesn't mean i'm not anxious. Thank you.

Being anxious is normal. It's great that you're realizing these issues regarding food now. You're probably much more prepared for this surgery than you realize!

I have an emotional addiction to food and that is why I gained all this weight. Like any addiction for any person it is a scary reality to think of your or my life without this one comfort that we constantly turn to. I was scared to get my surgery done to and thought, "Oh man I'm not ever going to be able to do this and that." Then I had a one on one with myself and said "really? I'm worried about not being about to eat pizza for a couple of months or eat all I want?" The weight is killing me health wise and that's what I'm worried about? It sounded silly to me and once I had my surgery and started immediately seeing results and already I feel so much better. I realized I might not be able to ever eat the way I did but I'm ok with that. I want the change and I know its the best thing that I could of given myself. I wish you the best of luck and hope that with whatever decision you choose is the right one for YOU!

I am a food addict. The longer I have gone post op the better it gets. I can't say it is gone but I stick 100% to plan and have not eaten anything I know I shouldn't. My saving grace has been the sugar free popsicle. 15 Calories a piece. My worst time in the past was the evening sitting in front of the computer. Now when I do it I have a popsicle...and another...and another. I usually eat 4 to 6 a day. It satisfies my cravings at night (this coming from a 410 pound guy who would eat at least a large bag of chips every night...who would order two extra value meals large size at McDonalds by myself because I was embarrassed the cashier knowing the extra nuggets and fries were all for me so I would buy two meals so they would think it was for two people.) It got better is my point. So much so I feel fantastic and fully satisfied on 750 calories a day

It's a mindfuck......????

I already picked my cross over addictions....shopping and porn!!!! Lol sorry that was no where near honest! I thought the humor could help. I am planning to get involved in some exercise groups and hopefully develop if not an addiction a serious obsession!....Do check out Geneen Roth. All of her work is stunning. I put it down for a while and come back to it and always find it relevant. And Overeater's Anonymous would save a seat for us, too!

I think what is making you doubt the surgery is because of all the negative feedback you are getting from your people. The food additiction I can honestly say we ALL had it. That is what drove us to the brink of doing major surgery to forcefully eat healthy.

I am 13 days post. I will be honest here. Day 2 post your surgery you will think " what the hell did I get myself into??" . Trust me when I say the majority of us has had that thought. I know I did. But as everyone says and there is truth to it, it gets better by the day.

Will you have a food addiction after surgery? Mentally, it may be there. But your stomach will not let you. Trust me. Soon you will find yourself fantasizing on your old "food favorites". I personally call that food porn.lol I still do it, but what? I know I can't have it. Your sleeve will have nothing to do with it. Why? Because you won't feel hungry. You will be so busy nursing and taking care of your sleeve that I don't think you will have the time to obsess over food.

Remember, you are not the only one. We all had addictions of sorts. One of my comfort foods were large McDonalds fries with a chocolate sundae. I will eat them together for the sweet and sour effect. I could eat a whole pizza by myself easy. But when you get your sleeve, honey your taste buds WILL change. You will feel like a pregnant woman tasting things that you used to like and feel disgusted. Even perfumes will smell different. (It did for me, lol).

Try to keep the negative people at bay and go on if addiction is your only worry. You will be okay. And your boyfriend, when he sees you loosing weight cause they "amputated" your tummy......he will have second thoughts. You will go on with your sexy self. At that time, you can smile and say "bite me" ( And maybe he will) xoxo

Edited January 25, 201511 yr by Pac-woman

Sometimes the adjustment in how you now need to eat changes our relationship with food. However for some more help is needed. As long as you stay cognizant and honest with yourself you'll be fine. If you feel you need something more there is OA or even therapy.

Edited January 25, 201511 yr by BLERDgirl

I too worried about giving up my source of comfort, joy and entertainment. My husband kept saying " What if this doesn't work? And, what are they going to do with the stomach they remove?

But what I really DID want to give up was always being the fattest at a party, shopping in the plus size dept, being uncomfortable in my own body, seeing my health risks continue to multiply, being invisible and un sexy, and my list goes on and on.

So I asked my husband "if not this, what else would you suggest? I've done Everything!! Further more, what if this does work? And truth be known, I wasn't asking for his permission. I had hoped for his support, but regardless I was going to do this-support or no support.

I'm only one month out, not having any real cravings ( shock) and learning to enjoy every bite I eat. It has been easier than I imagined , but I am well aware there will be rough times ahead. I truly wish I had done this sooner and not spent so many years as an obese woman. Oh, and the husband is now encouraging and supportive. Go figure.

Be brave, be strong and do what is best for you. Good luck.