Chicago - Pre Op - Need a Mentor ASAP

[africanviolet 1]

Hello everyone...

I am a pre-op sleeve patient undergoing the VSG program at Northwestern Hospital.

Thus far, my journey had been great.... I got through the classes, Dietitian, nurse practitioner and weight management consults with no issues.... and was excitedly headed towards my Surgeon's Consultation and then..... **BAM** ....... here comes the Clinical Psychologist.... telling me she thinks I need to work through some of my issues for the next 3 months with a therapist before she will suggest I undergo surgery (even though she herself said I was an excellent candidate, and my Primary Care Physician wrote a letter of how motivated I am and how the surgery will HELP ME eliminate current medical issues).

Now, while I appreciate that the Psychologist is trying to be diligent in her analysis, I have ONE major problem with her stance on this:

....... I think - as a recent graduate and post doctoral fellow - that she is trying to impress her colleagues/peers with this swooping diagnosis, and has completely disregarded my MEDICAL NEED for this surgery....

For example - I was referred to this Northwestern program because of chronic utercaria (Hives), and painful rashes (Pruitus) due to a variety of Gastrointestinal issues, including a stomach ulcer that has created a "Leaky Gut Syndrome" scenario, and is slowly turning into an auto-immune disease, with my body internally attacking itself, and my stomach excreating acid into my bloodstream. Obesity is an additional co-morbid that has contributed GREATLY to my current condition.... and therefore my Primary Care Physician recommended killing two birds with one stone.

DOES IT SOUND LIKE I NEED TO WAIT 3 MONTHS FOR THAT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF??? ..... I wouldn't think so....

And do I really want to continue to be on 5 medications managing the PAIN of Hives, Pruitus, Edema (from the steroids), and situational anxiety from all the itching and burning??? I wouldn't think so.....

And of course, this was explained to the Psychologist during my visit (although NOT forcibly, as I tried to remain respectful the entire time and not get into an argument with her), but to no avail.

So here is my issue, and why feel I need a GREAT MENTOR right now....

If I am FORCED to have to continue to deal with my physical ailments because this psychologist wants me to work through "mommy issues", and OCCASIONAL late night snacking habits..... I am REALLY going to be upset, and will need someone to help me keep my eye on the prize and work through that emotional period.

I am already seeing a Therapist about my behavioral issues, (have been for several weeks)..... but I guess that didn't show enough initiative for the Psychologist .... and she will possibly recommend a HALT to my surgical journey and push it back from February to MAY...... *sigh* .....

I can't have surgery WHILE seeing a Therapist???? ......

.... And not have to suffer through 3 additional months of a painful auto-immune disease??? :-(

LOOK - I don't want to make a big stink out of this, because I am very grateful to be in this program. I Thank GOD for it daily.....

I just wish I wasn't suddenly made to feel like I owed someone else something before I was able to receive what I needed, and my medical needs take a back seat....

I HAVE shared my feelings with my Dietitian & Nurse Practitioner, but I haven't heard back yet.

I guess my MAINS question for a potential MENTOR are.....

HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE THIS?

AM I WRONG IN MY FEELINGS?

And.....

IF I AM FORCED TO ENDURE THIS ADDITIONAL "3 MONTH WAIT".... CAN YOU HELP ME GET THROUGH IT WITHOUT ME CRACKING UP?? (LOL!)

Thanks.

[swimbikerun 1,040]

I would put my concerns in writing to the psychologist. The other doctor you are working with? Can she sign off on the paperwork? I would think so. Otherwise I want it all in writing and why. I can't see why "late night snacking" would make a difference, I think the vast majority of us have that. If so, it may be cured once you can't eat any more.

I do think that sounds fishy. I mean "mommy issues". Can she clarify where in the medical literature this is an issue? I can't see that, nor can I see how the late night snacking, which is a big deal to all, is an issue to hold up surgery. I would think that could be done after the surgery or even right now during. You have 1-2 months to work on it before surgery.

Tend to agree with you.

[MyssJones 84]

I do understand your pain. I got approved for surgery in August and after a series of events I wasn't able to have it until December 15th.

I too suffer from an auto-immune disease and chronic inflammation. My original date was cancelled due to my WBC being too high (they thought I could have cancer or something). I had to go to an oncologist to get cleared. So then my date got rescheduled to November 26. They cancelled that because the surgeon would be leaving out of town. Then, I finally got scheduled for December 16th. When the program coordinator called me to tell be they had to change my date again, I thought I would say all types of words to her. Luckily, they moved it one day sooner.

I say all that to say, I know it seems like a long wait, but you really do want to follow the advice of medical professionals to make sure you are as stable as possible before undergoing this type of life-changing surgery. I went through a series of emotions my first two weeks post-op (including crying spells, self-doubt, guilt, etc). To be physically, mentally, and emotionally stable are very important as you have got to be focused on your weight loss goals to be successful.

I know it is hard, but those 3 months will fly by and you will be on your way to a lifelong journey to a happy and healthy new life.

I'm here if you need me. Inbox me!!!

[africanviolet 1]

@@swimbikerun - Thank you. My thinking exactly. :-(

[swimbikerun 1,040]

I like to ask questions, which usually tends to get them mad but flushes out their biases and thinking, is asking how and why does this need to be taken care of before surgery and can you move it will make a difference in the long run by studies already done? Are you studying something like this or considering a paper? How many other surgeries have you stopped and what was the success rate of your treatment.

When they are just "winging" it, you will know by the answers. That is one of the ways I could catch the doc I had. Some things just didn't add up. No offense to him but when its my butt and you are slamming me in the medical records, you better have a DOGGONE GOOD reason.

@@swimbikerun - Thank you. My thinking exactly. :-(

[africanviolet 1]

@@MyssJones - Thank you sister for the encouragement. I truly appreciate your position and stance on this scenario. And I am no stranger to the benefits of being patient and seeing things through. However..... If I were not in PAIN, I think the circumstance would be a little different. I have had Hives, acidity and inflammation for nearly a year. I am TIRED and would love to be cured/relieved of this problem ASAP. When the solution is within reach..... but someone comes along, grabs the solution and keeps it dangling just out of my reach until THEY are ready to give it to me...... it can be a little nerve-wracking .... and in the meantime, guess who is left to deal with the pain, medication, insomnia, anxiety and Pruitus??? .... Yes. ME..... not them. ME. And although I applaud your patience in your situation, you were waiting on your SURGERY..... mine is being blocked. Very different..... :-(

Edited January 6, 2015 by africanviolet

[swimbikerun 1,040]

@@africanviolet, maybe the reason I understand so very well is my surgeon had left MUTLIPLE notes about my pain and didn't operate. Like 8 months later, he had it in the medical record:

"today she asked me why would I let her be in pain for so long".

So ... very very different bent on the subject.

[africanviolet 1]

@@swimbikerun - Yes, I understand where you are coming from.

Because I am a person that holds their peace, and doesn't want to rock the boat, there are questions I didn't ask and statements I didn't make in my consultation yesterday.

I respect people in the Medical field a GREAT DEAL, but they aren't perfect. They occasionally make bad calls and even kill people with their mistakes. I was intimidated by her being a doctor of psychology, and having the fate of my surgery in her hands as the last step before my surgery consult and subsequent date. I didn't stand for my side of the story like I should have.... in an effort to keep the peace.

I hope that hasn't doomed me to endure my symptoms for an additional 3 months when I didn't have to.

[swimbikerun 1,040]

After the "care" I got in certain circumstances, I started to rock the boat. I wasn't getting better. I was just getting worse. When you hospitalize someone for malnutrition because "you are going to die" well maybe you should have taken out the gallbladder causing me pain so I didn't eat! WOW! Is that so hard to figure out or understand? Its garbage that like that sometimes you have to say hey.

The option is to go back and find out is she for sure holding it up. If she is, I'd go for it because you have nothing to lose and by putting it IN WRITING you have shown that she has a reason to retaliate if she becomes a problem.

Respect is earned. Not bestowed. A graduate degree, so what, lots of people have grad degrees. It doesn't make them God.

I dang sure want to hear how "mommy issues" affect surgery. I dang sure want to know why and what proof she has it will interfere with surgery and the basis for that decision. In writing.

@@swimbikerun - Yes, I understand where you are coming from.

Because I am a person that holds their peace, and doesn't want to rock the boat, there are questions I didn't ask and statements I didn't make in my consultation yesterday.

I respect people in the Medical field a GREAT DEAL, but they aren't perfect. They occasionally make bad calls and even kill people with their mistakes. I was intimidated by her being a doctor of psychology, and having the fate of my surgery in her hands as the last step before my surgery consult and subsequent date. I didn't stand for my side of the story like I should have.... in an effort to keep the peace.

I hope that hasn't doomed me to endure my symptoms for an additional 3 months when I didn't have to.