I was out for a holiday dinner with coworkers a few days ago and now that I'm not spending the entire meal stuffing my face with food, I notice more how much others eat. appetizers were brought to the table, bread was served, then salads, then meals and then giant Desserts. Since I have limited space, I have to skip straight to the main meal and am only able to eat a fraction of that.

I used to eat that much. No wonder I needed surgery. It's amazing how much my perception has changed after a few short months. Do you notice how much others eat?

I notice it as well, and feel a bit guilty because I would probably still be eating like that if I could. What I also notice is really heavy people - I used to notice them before and wonder if their weight and physical issues were my future. Now I notice them with a lot of sympathy (which also makes me feel a little guilty!) and wish I could lead them toward this journey. It is so strange how our lives change...

@@beachplum Share your tips on how to make it look like you're eating more than you are. I struggle at work dinners because I don't want to draw attention to the fact that I'm not eating that much. I've had a few people ask me already if I liked my food or comment that I didn't eat that much.

Yes please I have to do family dinner and this part of the family doesn't know that I had surgery and I didn't plan to tell them. How do I make it look like I eat more than I do????

I live in a house full of grazers...it's hard to distract myself at times...it makes me stronger but eh...Its so hard

I had revision surgery last Monday. I don't care about food but enjoy looking at it when others eat it because I feel like I have power over it! It's just food! I told my sister that I wanted to poke my husbands sausage biscuit with a stick and tease it like a possum : )

In a family style or buffet situation, I don't put much "edible" food on my plate, but do put a few things on the plate that I won't eat, e.g., salad, bread. Then I push the stuff I'm not going to eat around on my plate or tear it into pieces. And I do eat very slow. I also don't mind getting "seconds" if my first serving was appropriately small.

I also tend to ask people questions, and while people are talking, there's NO way they can pay attention to what you're doing with your food. Then, if the situation permits, I get up and go into the kitchen and scrape some things off my plate.

People don't notice how much you eat. They do notice when you ask them to pass a dish or serve yourself food. And they do notice how long you're eating.

Oh, and you have to make a big fuss at the end about being absolutely STUFFED! And about how great everything was. And you can always ask the cook(s) for recipes.

Edited December 13, 201411 yr by VSGAnn2014

Good thoughts! Thanks!!!!

sadly, i do notice/look at larger people eating huge amounts

i went out to dinner recently with my mom

she is an average/weight size

she barely took a bite of food before she shoved more food in her mouth

also the drinking Water while she eats (i used to do that too)

what is "upsetting" to me is that i ate just like other heavy people before i had WLS

so glad i had surgery

its amazing how life has changed for me

kathy

Edited December 13, 201411 yr by proudgrammy

OMG...I thought I was the only looking at people's food...just like a Dog!!! I HATE DOING THAT, in fact going to restaurants is kinda DEPRESSING! HAD SURGERY 11/18/14...don't know what to eat when I go out...I think it's still too early!

I don't really notice how MUCH someone eats so much as I notice HOW they eat. It amazes me how so many people shovel the food into their mouths, barely chew, and shovel more in before right away. I wanna just scream "enjoy it!!" Lol

I realized today I am so left of center that I stopped paying any attention to other people's food a long time ago. I've always marched to the beat of my own drum.

For example, I got into making bento boxes a few years back. I don't do it regulatory anymore but anytime I got some where I need to make a boxed lunch, I grab one of my cute bento boxes. My travel utensils are also really good for taking small bites. I thought about this thread today when someone asked me where my cute little lunch box was.

Something else I've noticed when I've been out shopping, are the folks buying Protein Shakes, and mushy stuff. I think in my head....."that person has had wls!" And then I'm jealous because I haven't yet. I'll be at Sams Club with the hubs and observe what is in other people's baskets (water bottles, Fage 0 calorie yogurt in bulk, egg beaters, apple sauce, sugar free popsicles and premier protein) and whisper to him...."I bet that person had wls....look how healthy he/she looks!" I don't know if they did or didn't, but I think it whenever I see something like that.

That's funny. I've been buying Protein shakes and Fage 0% in bulk for years. Long before I even considered WLS. I buy protein shakes to have something to eat before the gym. Anything heavier and I get sick. I buy the Fage in bulk because it's cheaper that way.

Last night I attended my company's holiday dinner party. I remembered this thread and noticed that some of the thin women ate very little and very slowly, pretty much like I am learning to do. These are people who have never had a weight issue. Although it's rude to pay too much attention to other people's eating habits, I think I should watch and learn from my thin friends.

YES! my thinking is soo opposite now. we went out with some friends a few wks back...we went to Rubys..they (hubs and the other 2) got the salad bar on top of meal an when the hubs came back before the other 2 I told him Im going to play on my phone while y'all are eating...I said I am NOT going to just sit here an watch y'all eat all these food with this look on my face which I am DESPERTLY trying to avoid putting on about trying not to care of what others are eating...bc when I do get my main course which I order small already I immediatly ask for a to go box . I only eat about 4 or 5 small bites an then Im done! I get these comments all the time when with others.."IS THAT ALL YOUR EATING? ARE YOU FULL ALREADY? yep!! I just say I dont eat much anymore. my life an social life doesnt center around food anymore. I do get some looks like Im crazy but ya no I dont care! its me an my new lifestyle...they have noticed I have lost another human being in weight..lol...an I love it! I have a friend who is reacing 300 or more for all I no an she asked me what I have done told her everything I stopped eating, watch everything I eat an her responce was I dont see me losing this weight ever...been over weight all her life...in her 60s now...I said WHY? shes miserable. she has looked into the bariatric way but cant pass the mental/psychologic assesments...so I dont no what else to tell her. but now when I see what others eat when we do an it makes me sick to look at so I try an keep my mind on other things...I try not to be judgmental an let others be themselves an not care..I just control me!

blondebomb,

I really like what you mentioned at the end of your response. I think it is important to not be judgmental and let others be themselves. There use to be so many social functions in which I would not eat in fear of others watching and judging how much the fat girl eats. Maybe it was paranoia, but I could sense the thoughts going on in their head after I caught them eying my plate.

Obese people feel frustration when others judge them as being stupid, irresponsible, or lazy. Ironically, many obese or WLS patients can behave in some extremely negative judgmental behavior themselves. Often the comments are geared toward groups of people with difficulties similar to our own. I know the original poster was not intending to sound cruel or harsh. Most people aren't aware that they are being critical and judgmental. When it is pointed out that comments like these sound judgmental, most people quickly realize that how they engage in the very same negative behavior they dislike when it is directed towards them.

Like blondbomb mentioned, focus on your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Let others worry about theirs. Everyone judges unfairly sometimes. I am trying to be more aware of my own judgmental comments, thoughts, and behavior.