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I would not consider YOU a successful WLS patient!

I had to go to a specialist for my reactive hypoglycemia. Nothing is working. I have tried it all so far and have passed out several times. Anyway. I went two days ago and I am not saying the guy was a jerk because he wasn't. He was very nice and said that he can help me....They are sending me to a dietitian that specializes in difficult situations like mine where nothing is working. He said I was a survivor not a success at WLS.

He told me that I am going to be turned into someone that Bariatrics does not like and that is a grazer. I am going to eat every hour. All day long. And the food that I will be given will regulate my sugars. This is his plan.....

Now back to my shock and hurt over his comment. I said what are you talking about...I am at goal, and thin....He said so what it is healthy we aim for not thin. Sounded right to me. But then I asked if he had ever been fat in his life and he said..NO..Well I said, You have not got one clue what it is like to be fat and what we go through....He said true but I recommend WLS to a lot of my patients because of Diabetes. I said almost before he finished...And then what!? they get the surgery and are left hanging with no support or help from the medical community.

He asked me what I meant and I told him that for most of the complications I have had they have sent me right back to my original surgeon. And there were times when it was not necessary. He said. That's not fair. I said that didn't matter it is the way it is around my area. He said that the wait time is now 7 years here. I said well then a person who really needs it has 2 problems right. He looked at me...first they are in a place where you feel they need this surgery and then they can't get it because of the lists.....Why don't you just write a death certificate and get it over with.

He told me to stop crying and put myself together. He asked me why I was so upset. I told him that losing my weight was me being a success story and he repeated again. No! I said I am alive and I was dead before just not in the ground. He said look at you...You are weak and sick and now I have to find out why this stuff keeps happening to you. You obviously have unresolved food issues. I said yes doesn't everyone. Doesn't every one go through periods in their lives where they eat to be happy. Look at the new WW commercial. He then asked me if I would like to see a shrink and I said NO..I have been to enough of them to know they know less them me.. ( sorry if any of you are shrinks, it is not personal ) So I left his office after 2 hours of questions and tears and a solution to my hypoglycemia problem...Soon...

So I am still upset and I talk to someone I trust and still crying and in the conversation she says to me. I really don't understand why you even bother with Bariatric Pal. They have not helped you and the only thing you could say to anyone is maybe how to live through a botched surgery....Crushed I listened to the rest of the call without much commenting. This place has been a home for me for over 2 years......And then someone says that I have no right to be here. That I am not needed here. This has really sent me into a spin....

I am not looking for compliments. I want to know what you think about the situation. Am I unsuccessful or should I leave this site that has helped me so much? If there is nothing to offer others then my place here is for not!? Am I only a survivor of WLS? Are others going through similar things as I am? I feel so disheartened!

Edited by RJ'S/beginning

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The doctors may be book smart but they have no common sense and their people skills are usually lacking too. RJ you are a HUGE SUCCESS. You have over come problems, complications and multiple surgeries and you have lost and maintained your weight. You have been an encourager, a teacher, a supporter and you have been kind and loving to all of us seeking answers and support. You and a few others have stood out for me over the last year and I don't know if I could have done it without you. You belong here and you are needed here. I wish we could give back to you half of what you have given. I hope this doctor can help you with your blood sugar problems but just remember that he can not relate to what you have gone through because he has no frame of reference. You know you are a success and you should continue to wear that badge proudly, even while going thruouh this doctor' treatment plan. ((((( HUGS))))))))

This is why I don't like ppl. If they can't be an active support person to my life and serve a positive purpose then I don't need them around. I have family I havent spoken to in over 20 yrs because they suck :-)

  • Author

I'm curious who told you not to talk about it? Your Dr or people here? Sometime talking about things/venting is the only way to make it through a tough situation.

My own personal GP told me not to tell anyone. And if anyone says well tell him to stow it and get a new doctor. This is not the USA. They are rare here. We have waiting lists for those as well. He is a new doctor for me. I got rid of the last one for this one because the other one I had was an a**.

In fact the first time he met me I told him I was about to have WLS and he said oh I do not think that is good idea. I think you should go on these new diet pills that are out now..I don't even want to consider if that would have been better for me in the long run...lol

You are so right, that doctor has no idea what it's like. We on the other hand do know. You are a shinning star, don't ever forget that. Besides there are millions of people with diabetes out there and they live with Hypoglycemia over their heads. Are they survivors, yes. Are they success stories, yes.

All of us are success stories. We are doing something about our obesity problem. We dare to have HOPE. Or we could just curl up and die. Let's face it, that's what we were all doing before WLS.

Keep HOPE alive!

My own personal GP told me not to tell anyone. And if anyone says well tell him to stow it and get a new doctor. This is not the USA. They are rare here. We have waiting lists for those as well. He is a new doctor for me. I got rid of the last one for this one because the other one I had was an a**.

In fact the first time he met me I told him I was about to have WLS and he said oh I do not think that is good idea. I think you should go on these new diet pills that are out now..I don't even want to consider if that would have been better for me in the long run...lol

I'm sorry you were told not to tell anyone. :(

Edited by SBovee

....And then someone says that I have no right to be here. That I am not needed here. This has really sent me into a spin....

Was this a member HERE who said this to you? :rolleyes:

  • Author

Was this a member HERE who said this to you? :rolleyes:

No it was someone who just had WLS and thinks that she has it in the bag and that I can't be there for her or anyone else because I only know about a botched surgery.

I think it was on top of the other visit with the specialist that made me feel really really bad. I quoted you last night..About what others think of us is none of our business. I am so going to use that for myself from now on. Eps. for those who think they have it so all together... If we did we would not be here looking for support or compassion....

Thank you @@LipstickLady for the quote..........My new go to thought about things that are said that hit my sensitive feelings...Crap you would think that at 56 I would be so strong and not give a dead rats tail about it but at times I have a hard time keeping it together like others do...human condition.... :)

@RJ'S/beginning First, you belong here on BP. You are a wonderful host, and you bring a different perspective. All that you have been through makes you uniquely qualified to discuss the painful complications you've had that others would benefit from hearing. If I were going through something like that, I would come to sites like this and look for someone like you, because I would want to know that there is hope. You offer that people.

Second, you are a success, and no one can take that away from you, and most certainly not with words.

One thing I've learned about the medical community, is that they tend to be single minded in approach, and their single mind is focused around their specialty. If you had back pain and you went to a surgeon, he'd want to operate. If you went to a pain specialist, he'd want to inject you. If you went to a psychiatrist, he'd want to treat you with imagery. If you went to a GP, he'd try to manage it with pain meds. If you went to a sports medicine, he'd try to treat you with physical therapy. All of that's a little simplistic, but you get the picture. I wonder if you aren't focusing too much on his words? Just because he is calling you a survivor, it doesn't take away the fact that you are also successful, does it? It's just semantics, and in truth, he's right. You've survived A LOT, and are still dealing with that outcome. And I think surviving all that you have speaks to your wonderful spirit! I think you should be proud that you survived AND succeeded! He's just simply looking at it from his perspective, and that is treating the reactive hypoglycemia. I do hope he can figure out how to make that happen soon, so you can feel better an move on with the wonderful life you have successfully created for yourself!

  • Author

@RJ'S/beginning First, you belong here on BP. You are a wonderful host, and you bring a different perspective. All that you have been through makes you uniquely qualified to discuss the painful complications you've had that others would benefit from hearing. If I were going through something like that, I would come to sites like this and look for someone like you, because I would want to know that there is hope. You offer that people.

Second, you are a success, and no one can take that away from you, and most certainly not with words.

One thing I've learned about the medical community, is that they tend to be single minded in approach, and their single mind is focused around their specialty. If you had back pain and you went to a surgeon, he'd want to operate. If you went to a pain specialist, he'd want to inject you. If you went to a psychiatrist, he'd want to treat you with imagery. If you went to a GP, he'd try to manage it with pain meds. If you went to a sports medicine, he'd try to treat you with physical therapy. All of that's a little simplistic, but you get the picture. I wonder if you aren't focusing too much on his words? Just because he is calling you a survivor, it doesn't take away the fact that you are also successful, does it? It's just semantics, and in truth, he's right. You've survived A LOT, and are still dealing with that outcome. And I think surviving all that you have speaks to your wonderful spirit! I think you should be proud that you survived AND succeeded! He's just simply looking at it from his perspective, and that is treating the reactive hypoglycemia. I do hope he can figure out how to make that happen soon, so you can feel better an move on with the wonderful life you have successfully created for yourself!

I understand only to well the medical field and how they view medical issues. They are a just doing their jobs. but at times it is not how they do their jobs that affect some of us. It is their tone. I saw and felt the tone. It threw me back for a few days.

I always have seen WLS as a success or failure. Like everyone else this is what I chose to finally succeed at weight loss. To hear his view of it was unsettling for me at the time. Now! no I put it where it belongs..On a shelf so it can gather dust like all the other opinions that are not truly who we are or me either.

I believe that being a success at something means a constant vigilance and that is what we need to survive this choice of change for ourselves. He meant what he said. i am not an idiot. I think it put him on a different plain because he recommends these surgeries every day to his patients and has never heard of these types of complications. He was not prepared for me. And he said what he was thinking. Which is now okay because he is someone who is there to assist me with my health issue. We are not friends. lol

But I do think that I walked away with him feeling that maybe he should do a little more research himself before so willy nilly using this as a simple answer to diabetes. It is not simple.

For me it is not only a struggle with weight reduction but handling the changes, complications and the severe depression. All wraps up together to make me who I am and one that works every day to make better choices for myself. As the song says ' a long and winding road.'

I will say this RJ I learn more from here then actual doctors. I work with the arrogant assholes everyday. I dont give a dam if they have an MD title unless they have walked in your shoes they have no idea. I dare someone to say that to me he would of had to call security he has no idea how hard this is. We are all here for you and will get through this!

My mother had terminal cancer and at the phase when her doc gave up on her she pleasantly said "well, it's not your neck on the line " and she found a different one. She lived another 25 or so years. My point is that it is OUR bodies, our health...our necks on the line. I see doctors like mecanics....awesome to find a great one but in the end me as a person is what's imprttant not the mecanic.

So, you DO belong here, you ARE a success story and you DO encourage many. What does the mecanic know about all that?

I just encourage you to not let some doctor impact you so much emotionally. I really believe my mom's git er done attitude contributed to her long survival even after stage 4 hopeless cancer diagnosis. Turns out the mecanics don't know everything.

Jane - your mom sounds like she was a real cool lady. Good on her!!

I'm not sure if this helps anyone reading this or not, but before I went through law school I thought doctors knew everything, that they were some special breed of human that knew more than the rest of us about everything, that they were set apart. After I went through law school I realized that they were just like me - with human foibles and issues and that there are some good ones and some bad ones, just like attorneys, nurses, cashiers, etc. Doctors know medicine, I know the law. We each have our area of specialities the other doesn't understand. As as result I see them as just people with specialized training and they can be wrong and they can be right. We know ourselves better than any doctor, and we should always honor that and be our own best advocate. (Not that RJ has not done that, but I just wanted to mention it for those that find advocating hard to do - sometimes it is very hard to do, especially when you are afraid and don't feel good.)

My long-time doctor insisted that I need a hysterectomy, but I just wasn't willing to do it because I didn't feel like I had tried everything. It was hard for me to go and find another doctor, but I did. My female problems are gone now and if I have had a hysterectomy. I would have removed something that was worth saving.

We're all worth saving and evey experience we have and share with others, no matter how small or traumatic, is a learning/sharing experience for the posting person and for all of us in this great community.

Edited by HaddocksEyes

"Blank" him! I mean, come on, you've lost over 200 pounds and kept it off for a couple of years. How many people can say that? You are far healthier than you were before, and most if not all of your weight-related co-morbidities are probably gone. So yes, you have other health issues. Lots of people thin, fat, or green have medical issues. Do not let that jerk derail your success. Because make no mistake about it, you are a smashing success!!!!!

Did I mention, "Blank" him?!!! It bears repeating......

Edited by Rogofulm

  • Author

Thank you everyone for your support and compassion. I learned that yes I am a survivor but that I am also a success. I appreciate so much your words of encouragement to me.

This forum has been so dear to me...And so have all of you.

Thank you again!

Jane

Why do doctors have to be such buttholes? Unless you are or have been in our shoes no one can comment on your quality of life or health. Some of us have more hurdles than others but you are NOT a wls survivor. You are an inspiration. I would love for skinny doctor (mine is the wls surgeons psychologist) they see you once or twice and think they know you to walk in our shoes since they've never been through the physical and personal pain and stigma of being a fat person. He (and your friend) need to be supportive. You're already going thru scary stuff you don't need the extra stress. I personally, tho I'm sure he's a good doctor would seek another opinion.

Edited by kyrickchick64

I had to go to a specialist for my reactive hypoglycemia. Nothing is working. I have tried it all so far and have passed out several times. Anyway. I went two days ago and I am not saying the guy was a jerk because he wasn't. He was very nice and said that he can help me....They are sending me to a dietitian that specializes in difficult situations like mine where nothing is working. He said I was a survivor not a success at WLS.

He told me that I am going to be turned into someone that Bariatrics does not like and that is a grazer. I am going to eat every hour. All day long. And the food that I will be given will regulate my sugars. This is his plan.....

Now back to my shock and hurt over his comment. I said what are you talking about...I am at goal, and thin....He said so what it is healthy we aim for not thin. Sounded right to me. But then I asked if he had ever been fat in his life and he said..NO..Well I said, You have not got one clue what it is like to be fat and what we go through....He said true but I recommend WLS to a lot of my patients because of Diabetes. I said almost before he finished...And then what!? they get the surgery and are left hanging with no support or help from the medical community.

He asked me what I meant and I told him that for most of the complications I have had they have sent me right back to my original surgeon. And there were times when it was not necessary. He said. That's not fair. I said that didn't matter it is the way it is around my area. He said that the wait time is now 7 years here. I said well then a person who really needs it has 2 problems right. He looked at me...first they are in a place where you feel they need this surgery and then they can't get it because of the lists.....Why don't you just write a death certificate and get it over with.

He told me to stop crying and put myself together. He asked me why I was so upset. I told him that losing my weight was me being a success story and he repeated again. No! I said I am alive and I was dead before just not in the ground. He said look at you...You are weak and sick and now I have to find out why this stuff keeps happening to you. You obviously have unresolved food issues. I said yes doesn't everyone. Doesn't every one go through periods in their lives where they eat to be happy. Look at the new WW commercial. He then asked me if I would like to see a shrink and I said NO..I have been to enough of them to know they know less them me.. ( sorry if any of you are shrinks, it is not personal ) So I left his office after 2 hours of questions and tears and a solution to my hypoglycemia problem...Soon...

So I am still upset and I talk to someone I trust and still crying and in the conversation she says to me. I really don't understand why you even bother with Bariatric Pal. They have not helped you and the only thing you could say to anyone is maybe how to live through a botched surgery....Crushed I listened to the rest of the call without much commenting. This place has been a home for me for over 2 years......And then someone says that I have no right to be here. That I am not needed here. This has really sent me into a spin....

I am not looking for compliments. I want to know what you think about the situation. Am I unsuccessful or should I leave this site that has helped me so much? If there is nothing to offer others then my place here is for not!? Am I only a survivor of WLS? Are others going through similar things as I am? I feel so disheartened!

Hey so i actually was reading up on this and it's more common than you think. I don't understand why your doctor isn't explaining to you that this what you are going through is a side effect of having this surgery. I found a link that you can read on what it is why it happens and usually what they do to fix it. So upset at your doctor!!!! :angry:http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1550728913002219

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