:help: Hi, I'm new to the forum and I feel like a failure. I had my surgery in January and lost 14 pounds in the first 2 weeks. I felt great. Then slowly I lost a total of 21 pounds up until mid March. I have had one fill. At first the fill helped give me a boost but then I fell back into bad habits. Mostly drinking with my meals which I know is a big NO-NO. I know I'm eating alot less than I used too but I don't feel like I'm loosing right now, at all. I'm even afraid I've gained weight. I refuse to weigh myself. I only get weighed at the doctors office. I have felt so bad about cheating and not loosing that I have cancelled three appointment with my Doctor. I keep using different excuses not to go. My next appointment is on the 22nd of May and I will keep it this time. I'm so afraid that my Doctor is going to be angry or dissappointed in me. Or think I'm a failure. This is bothering me so much. I don't know why I feel like this. My Doctor is really a nice and gentle man. Maybe I just don't want to be a dissapointment to him. I know that not having kept my appointments has only slowed down the process of losing. If I had kept my appointments he would have most likely adjusted my band. This in turn would have gotten me back on track. I know all this and I still kept from going back when I should have. Has anyone felt like this? Has anyone done what I've done? I feel terrible and guilty. But hoping for a new start on May 22nd. Thanks for reading and wish me luck, Please. Esther

:help: Hi, I'm new to the forum and I feel like a failure. I had my surgery in January and lost 14 pounds in the first 2 weeks. I felt great. Then slowly I lost a total of 21 pounds up until mid March. I have had one fill. At first the fill helped give me a boost but then I fell back into bad habits. Mostly drinking with my meals which I know is a big NO-NO. I know I'm eating alot less than I used too but I don't feel like I'm loosing right now, at all. I'm even afraid I've gained weight. I refuse to weigh myself. I only get weighed at the doctors office. I have felt so bad about cheating and not loosing that I have cancelled three appointment with my Doctor. I keep using different excuses not to go. My next appointment is on the 22nd of May and I will keep it this time. I'm so afraid that my Doctor is going to be angry or dissappointed in me. Or think I'm a failure. This is bothering me so much. I don't know why I feel like this. My Doctor is really a nice and gentle man. Maybe I just don't want to be a dissapointment to him. I know that not having kept my appointments has only slowed down the process of losing. If I had kept my appointments he would have most likely adjusted my band. This in turn would have gotten me back on track. I know all this and I still kept from going back when I should have. Has anyone felt like this? Has anyone done what I've done? I feel terrible and guilty. But hoping for a new start on May 22nd. Thanks for reading and wish me luck, Please. Esther

Hi Esther,

I'll bet you money that you won't be the first patient of his, nor the last to come in having learned some hard lessons, and not having lost what you had hoped too. His job is to help you figure out what you can do differently to get the results you want, not treat you like a misbehaving child(Ok, even though I know that feeling too!). So, go in and get going on this journey!!

:help: Hi, I'm new to the forum and I feel like a failure. I had my surgery in January and lost 14 pounds in the first 2 weeks. I felt great. Then slowly I lost a total of 21 pounds up until mid March. I have had one fill. At first the fill helped give me a boost but then I fell back into bad habits. Mostly drinking with my meals which I know is a big NO-NO. I know I'm eating alot less than I used too but I don't feel like I'm loosing right now, at all. I'm even afraid I've gained weight. I refuse to weigh myself. I only get weighed at the doctors office. I have felt so bad about cheating and not loosing that I have cancelled three appointment with my Doctor. I keep using different excuses not to go. My next appointment is on the 22nd of May and I will keep it this time. I'm so afraid that my Doctor is going to be angry or dissappointed in me. Or think I'm a failure. This is bothering me so much. I don't know why I feel like this. My Doctor is really a nice and gentle man. Maybe I just don't want to be a dissapointment to him. I know that not having kept my appointments has only slowed down the process of losing. If I had kept my appointments he would have most likely adjusted my band. This in turn would have gotten me back on track. I know all this and I still kept from going back when I should have. Has anyone felt like this? Has anyone done what I've done? I feel terrible and guilty. But hoping for a new start on May 22nd. Thanks for reading and wish me luck, Please. Esther

Esther I'll bet your wrongs and getting scolded as a child are rearing their ugly heads right now. Seldom have I seen a doctor scold me as a patient. I totally agree with lisah. You aren't the first and won't be the last. You will feel AWESOME when you are sitting in your car after that visit with a new plan, the visit behind you and knowing you have a fresh start to thin.

I'm so afraid that my Doctor is going to be angry or dissappointed in me. Or think I'm a failure. This is bothering me so much. I don't know why I feel like this.

Honest question. *IF* your doctor does think those things, so what? What does it mean to you, for him to think that?

Why are you drinking our meals? What are you drinking?

Since you aren't weighing, do you have any reason to believe you've gained weight?

Are you restricted?

Go in listen to what he says and follow his advice. I have been in your shoes and always feel better after I see my doc. He always says stick with the program, "Pam you know the rules and YOU know how to lose the weight." Best of Luck!

Hi Esther,

I'll bet you money that you won't be the first patient of his, nor the last to come in having learned some hard lessons, and not having lost what you had hoped too. His job is to help you figure out what you can do differently to get the results you want, not treat you like a misbehaving child(Ok, even though I know that feeling too!). So, go in and get going on this journey!!

Thanks for your comment. I WILL do it.

Hey Wheetsin, I drink iced tea or water with my meals. Why I do it? Two reasons I think. One is that is hard to break the habit. I like to clear my mouth of food and it makes swallowing easier. And my second reason is I get to eat more, which is a bad, bad thing. At least I recognize my wrongs and will try to correct them. And No, I am not restricted at all. So I am in need of a fill. Thanks for your comments. Esther

Esther I'll bet your wrongs and getting scolded as a child are rearing their ugly heads right now. Seldom have I seen a doctor scold me as a patient. I totally agree with lisah. You aren't the first and won't be the last. You will feel AWESOME when you are sitting in your car after that visit with a new plan, the visit behind you and knowing you have a fresh start to thin.

Thank you too, LapDancer. You are absolutely right. I know I'll feel better when my appointment's over. Thank gosh I go to my appointments with my best friend. We had surgery together and go to our appointments together. It really does help. Although right now she's going through the same thing as me. We'll have to lean on eachother, that's all.

I think you are just feeling guilty...I wouldn't think your doctor is going to chew you out..You are an adult...He will probably just get you back on track and give you a little pep talk....remember, he wants you to succeed....so....don't be afraid...just go in and start on a new journey...but....please don't cancel your next appt....

Go in listen to what he says and follow his advice. I have been in your shoes and always feel better after I see my doc. He always says stick with the program, "Pam you know the rules and YOU know how to lose the weight." Best of Luck!

Hey Pam, I see what you're saying. I just have to get into the right frame of mind. I can't sike myself out. I know I will feel better after I see my doctor. I need to get a fill, thats it. Thanks for your comments also. Esther

I think you are just feeling guilty...I wouldn't think your doctor is going to chew you out..You are an adult...He will probably just get you back on track and give you a little pep talk....remember, he wants you to succeed....so....don't be afraid...just go in and start on a new journey...but....please don't cancel your next appt....

LOL I promise I won't cancel my next appointment. I'll be a brave girl. Hehe. Thanks Diann!

Hey Wheetsin, I drink iced tea or water with my meals. Why I do it? Two reasons I think. One is that is hard to break the habit. I like to clear my mouth of food and it makes swallowing easier. And my second reason is I get to eat more, which is a bad, bad thing. At least I recognize my wrongs and will try to correct them. And No, I am not restricted at all. So I am in need of a fill. Thanks for your comments. Esther

I'm being banded Wednesday (5/16). I too have always been a big mealtime drinker. It's nothing for me to polish off 24 oz or more with a meal. I have started trying to stop drinking with meals altogether in preparation, but I have to admit it has been difficult. Then I came up with a neat solution that seems to work both sides for me - I get to "drink" with my food without really drinking. Our surgeon (DH was banded on 2/21) said it was ok to have about 1 oz of liquid with a meal, no more. So I had this brilliant idea - a shot glass! It holds one oz of liquid, so I put in one ice cube and fill the rest of the way with water. In actuality I'm not even getting that full ounce since the ice displaces much of it, but I'm able to take teeny sips between bites, enough to help "wash it down" (throat) without being enough to "wash it down" (stomach)! And it works pre-band, when I'm eating much more food than I'll be able to eat after I'm banded, so I KNOW it will work later. Give it a try and see if it helps. Just make sure it's actually water and not vodka! :heh:

I'm being banded Wednesday (5/16). I too have always been a big mealtime drinker. It's nothing for me to polish off 24 oz or more with a meal. I have started trying to stop drinking with meals altogether in preparation, but I have to admit it has been difficult. Then I came up with a neat solution that seems to work both sides for me - I get to "drink" with my food without really drinking. Our surgeon (DH was banded on 2/21) said it was ok to have about 1 oz of liquid with a meal, no more. So I had this brilliant idea - a shot glass! It holds one oz of liquid, so I put in one ice cube and fill the rest of the way with water. In actuality I'm not even getting that full ounce since the ice displaces much of it, but I'm able to take teeny sips between bites, enough to help "wash it down" (throat) without being enough to "wash it down" (stomach)! And it works pre-band, when I'm eating much more food than I'll be able to eat after I'm banded, so I KNOW it will work later. Give it a try and see if it helps. Just make sure it's actually water and not vodka! :heh:

Hey Eddie,

Great idea! I will give it a try. Thanks so much! And good luck to you. Shucks are you sure it can't be vodka? Hehe OK, Just kidding!

Hi Elee. I was wondering how you are making out now. I also feel like a failure, i am back eating things i shouldn't, and getting back into bad habits. I have an appt on june 21 for my 4th fill. i just don't feel the restriction i should, and i know that is part of the problem. I am also feeling that i am a big disappointment to my doctor, although more to myself! I got my band back in December 2006. It will be exactly 6 months on the date of my fill this week, and i have only lost about 15 pounds, but i am feeling like i have gained (I threw away my scale after my big fat butt BROKE it). i try to keep a positive attitude. i know what i need to do, start drinking the Protein shakes and get back into trying to lose. i think of a thousand excuses why i am not losing (went ona cruise recently, a trip to Florida, and 3 weddings) but i have to just realize i am failing here. i need help bad.

has anyone tried going to WW or another weight loss program having the band? I don't think just seeing a nutritionist at each visit is enough.....

thanks.

Hi Magilla, I have to say that I have my ups and downs. I went to see my doctor in June. My total loss so far, which was a supprise to me was 33 pounds. I actually felt I had not lost and even thought I gained but to my surprise I had lost eight pounds. It was time for a fill but I told my doctor I was about to go to Italy and I wanted to be able to EAT! He started laughing and said he would actually want to do the same thing. So he didn't fill me and I promised to come back in for a fill as soon as I got back. Well, the trip was great but the food wasn't. I was soooo dissapointed. HAHA The food wasn't that great, in fact, I think the Italian food we have right here in the USA is much better. Go figure. I also had a Tour Nazi. I thought I was going to die. We got up early everyday and were off and walking the whole day. We never stopped and OMG all those friggin stairs! I really thought I was going to die! My legs and feet were swollen the whole time I was there and when I got back home It took two days to recover. I stayed in bed with my legs up in the air until my swelling went dowm. Four days after I got home it was time to see the Doctor. I was excited, thinking I had lost lots of weight with all the walking I did. Right? Wrong. The nurse weighed me and the scale said I had gained Nine pounds! UGHHHH! NO WAY! I got so depressed. I then went in to see the doctor and told him how I was sooo surprised and upset about the weight gain. He didn't say much except it was time to get my 2nd fill. Well, here I am on my second week after my second fill and well, some days are good and some are bad. I have been getting stuck much more often which isn't fun but it definitely reminds me to pay attention to what I'm doing when I eat. I have a tendancy to eat fast. Well, now I have slowed down alot. I still have trouble not drinking with my food, though. I know this is whats keeping me from losing the way I should and could. I haven't been going to the nutritionist which is another thing I should be doing. I need to give myself a nice long talking too. I need to remember everything I've been through to this point. Everything from my long, losing fight against obesity to the pain I went through to get this surgery. I am trying to eat how I did when I first got the band. Drinking those shakes really does help me. Hey, we're only human and are trying to change life long bad habits. We can't put ourselves down for slipping here and there. It will just make it harder for us. We just need to start over when we slip up and use this as a lesson. I know I can do this. I know I can. I won't give up. Maybe I'll need another fill but for right now I need to be more careful with what I put in my mouth. Your not alone in your journey! You can do this! WE CAN DO THIS! Elee

thank you so much for your words. it helps to know that others are in the same situation, although I don't wish slow weight loss on anyone. I guess i was under the impression when i got this band that it works much better than it does, but I am not giving up. I am hoping that with this next fill it will do the trick, and I also am going to get back to drinking the protein shakes, cutting out bread and pasta, and eating whatever i feel like eating. Old habits are hard to break, you are right, and i must lose this weight before my health starts to fail as well. So it's back to drinking lots of water and trying to keep on track. i know i probably gained but I am starting over as of now. Thanks so much for your reply, you have helped me tremendously. And best of luck to you also. I will let you know how i make out after the next fill.