Mind issues/head hunger

[Tisa 52]

I'm 5 days post op. Sometimes I just think about the future like sitting down at a restaurant with friends, taking about two bites of food and being full and my friends are still eating for like 30 mins. Idk I guess eating can really be a social activity a lot of the time. Every time I think of a gathering I would like to have, and I think of the eating part and I feel worried. I don't want everyone to think I'm starving myself. I also think about visiting my family in morocco. Over there, they stuff you to the max, and if you don't eat much of the food they give you it's considered an insult. How do you guys deal with social eating? Maybe it's a silly worry but I just have been thinking about it a lot lately. Does it make things awkward?

[LivingFree! 478]

You are so right, Tisa. Eating is VERY much a social issue. And, like you say, very often a cultural issue. Since you are only 5 days post op, this feels much more overwhelming to you than it will actually really be once you are all healed and back to eating regular foods again. You'll certainly be eating more than "2 bites." When you're ewith friends, sure your portions will be smaller, but after awhile no one will pay attention and you'll learn little tricks to draw attention away from yourself. Eat slowly so food on your plate lasts longer, push it around on the plate, TALK A LOT instead of eating, and when everyone's done and it's time to go, if there's still food left on your plate--oh well, you're full--let's go. No big deal.

But at first, especially in maybe the first 6 months or so, to take pressure off yourself, you might want to keep eating out to a minimum as much as you can. That's a hard sacrifice to make, but if you can find things to do with friends that aren't food related, it just makes your life so much easier.

The cultural part is a lot harder. Hopefully, if you are talking about family members, you can just be totally honest with them that you had this procedure because it was necessary to protect your health and that you are not going to be able to eat the amounts of food that they expect you to eat. Maybe talking gently and keeping open communication will work? Just a suggestion. . .

Hang in there. You are not alone in your thoughts and feeling about this. You feel very different right now, but you will find a comfortable routine that will become your new and forever lifestyle and you'll be fine. Congratulations on your surgery. Heal well and fast!

[Kindle 8,667]

It might be awkward for a little while, when you are going through all your postop food stages. And then you won't be able to eat much for a few months. During that time when I 'd go out, I wouldn't even order anything...just a couple nibbles off everyone else's plate was more than enough. Later I would just get Soup or an appetizer and I still couldn't finish it. Even now I either get an entree and take home the leftovers or I split an entree with a friend and they luck out by getting the larger portion. Potlucks and BBQ's are easy because I only take a tiny but of whatever I want.

Since all my friends and family know about my surgery, my new restaurant / party eating protocol is no big deal. And going out to eat actually gives you a good opportunity to practice eating slow like we are supposed to. It's great when I can make my tiny portion last as long as someone else's big plateful of food. Just try and make your outings about socializing with friends, not how much food is going in your mouth.

[Tisa 52]

Nice to hear that this hasn't completely destroyed your social life lol. I guess it's just a bit of irrational fear on my part

[GummyTummy 154]

Hi Tisa,

My soulfood sister. We got sleeved the same day and I am from an Italian family so I know exactly what you are talking about. Literally, the morning I came home and was visiting my mother she came to ask what I wanted for dinner and if she could make me anything for Breakfast.

I am worried about the same thing you are , but have devised a plan so as to not insult people by wasting their food.Honesty first, if honesty is not an option or you don't feel like explaining yourself and divulging your health history (I usually don't advocate the fib, but just fib) My go to plan has me telling someone " this is delicious, can I have a doggy bag so I can take it with me for lunch tomorrow too." or "I had a large lunch, so I am not very hungry at the moment"

Again, you should be able to be yourself but if you don't feel like going through the motions, these might be some good options.