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Regarding sex after a little weight loss...



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I don't think this has affected my sex drive, but from the girl side perspective, I kind of know where you are coming from. I've been on birth control for almost 10 years now, and I don't have any kids, so it's doing it's job. I'm married, and we plan to have kids, just not yet. Well, both of my younger sisters were on birth control when they got pregnant (within 3 months of eachother too). So now, if my period doesn't start on Wednesday of the week it's supposed to, I start to seriously freak out, even though historically it'll start any time between Wednesday and Sunday. I know I'm paranoid because my sisters got pregnant when they were on birth control... but the other side of that coin is wondering how much trouble I'll have when I DO want to get pregnant!

Other than being sure you are using protection (like use a condom even if she says she's on birth control) and being with someone you can trust, I'm not sure what to say to help with your anxiety...

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Hey Never Again,

I feel your pain. After my divorce, I was terrified of women. It took me a long time to start dating again, and then once I started, I took it way way too slow for most women. Lack of physical intimacy ended most of my relationships, but, now I know, I wasn't ready for the physical side of things.

Once I started to get some confidence back, after one or two dates, I would let my partners know that I needed to take the physical side of things slowly, without letting them know too much detail. I certainly found that letting women know that it has been a long time since I have had sex, eased my mind, and most were ok with it and very understanding.

On another note, I when I met my fiance, things were very comfortable between us right away. With that comfort present, we had a physical relationship right away, and I haven't turned back since. Once you find a girl who is understanding of your feelings, and there is a comfort zone developed, you'll perform just fine.

When you let these women know that you need to take things a little slow, some may walk away. I came to realize that the women who walked away, I didn't want anything to do with anyway.

Q

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