Thinking of changing therapists

[Georgia Pritchett 53]

My therapist has been great as I've navigated dealing with clinical depression. She has helped me learn coping skills for my anger and boundary issues. She doesn't specialize in pain issues but I really feel like she helps me. But, she's not into weight loss and obesity issues at all--as a matter of fact, she struggles with her weight more than I do. She's been supportive as I've made my surgery decision but I don't think we've addressed WHY I overeat or HOW I can deal with that very well. I know the sleeve is only going to be a tool and I really think I need to look for another therapist who does work with obesity and weight loss. Has anyone else out there changed therapists because of surgery? Were you happy you did? (BTW, she's been my therapist for almost 5 years now).

Georgia

[parisshel 1,892]

While this doesn't answer your question specifically, years ago I went to a therapist as I wanted to dig deep into the "whys" of my obesity. But she herself was around 300 lbs and I didn't want to "hurt" her feelings by talking about my own weight issues. (It was presumtuous of me to assume she had issues with her obesity, obviously.) So I left that therapist and sought someone who, at least visually, I felt to be a better match for what I was seeking in a therapist.

That said, I would never be able to work with a therapist on weight issues who was overweight him/herself. For me, a therapist needs to be a role model (even if it is just a visual role model). This is probably the rationale behind Weight Watchers and why they only hire former WW members who are successful maintainer, and why in 12-step programs, sponsors need to have some successful track record to sponsor another member.

[BeagleLover 1,020]

For long term success I think it's important to separate eating from emotions. Two books have helped me:

1) Emotional First + Aid: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery by Cynthia Alexander

2) From the First Bite and other books by Kay Sheppard

Hope that helps.

[Georgia Pritchett 53]

I am 1/2 way through Emotional First Aid but I don't have the other one yet (it is on my list).

[DeniseNCC1701 306]

If possible, can you have two therapists? Building the most powerful support team you have is so critical.

Be well…

[gowalking 10,790]

Hi Georgia. I was in therapy many years ago for quite some time...seven years actually. This woman knew everything about me and I was very comfortable talking to her about anything. That means alot....being able to trust the person you tell the most intimate things to.

So, having said that, do you think that you can discuss with your current therapist, your concerns about weight related issues? She might still be more than capable of helping you with this. After all, you don't know how your anger and boundary issues impact her as you are not in her head the way she is in yours. I think it might be presumptuous of you to think just because she is overweight, she cannot help you with the whys and hows of your weight issues.

[Kitt3000 757]

Maybe it's like going to a marriage/ family therapist who is not married or have children, but guess what? They have years of school, sat for state boards and more years of on the job experience . I agree with go walking on this one, so important to maintain that relationship of trust, as well as not starting from scratch with a new therapist ..you know, family of origin etc.. Sounds like more of an investment in time and money to switch. Since you can tell her anything, let her know your concern.

[Georgia Pritchett 53]

I am going to have to think this though a bit more. I don't know that now is the best time to switch. She's so empathic about my pain issues even though she's never had pain problems.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I agree with one of the other posters -- if you talk to her and feel she can't help you with the weight loss issues maybe you can see someone else specifically for that but still see this therapist for general therapy.

It's hard to find a therapist you "click" with so you don't want to walk away from a good relationship if you don't have to.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Personally speaking?

I wouldn't go to a gynecologist and ask them to give me a structural survey on my house.

Likewise, I wouldn't go to a therapist who didn't specialise, or at least have some significant experience in my area of concern.

If your therapist has already hinted that she might not be best placed - perhaps ask her to recommend someone. Maybe the two therapists can work together?

[Kitt3000 757]

Mmmmmm, for me, a therapist is not a role model.

I think it's important to seek qualified professionals. Continuity also has it's benefits. Your doctor and staff are going to guide you to a degree, topics on this forum could spark a discussion with your therapist. As with most things in life, I tend to get results to the degree I am committed and be willing to do the work. Having a special needs child, each therapist that comes into her life, always wants to go back to the basics, and usually, by the time they work through the basics (time,money), they have advanced in their careers, and move on to a new job, location, etc... And here we go again...back to basics.

I wish you good luck and success with your weight loss, I applaud you for doing the work with a therapist !